The actual advice I would suggest to a friend in this situation would be to look for an outdoor program. They are becoming more prevalent, but still limited. I have seen outdoor, all weather learning be such a good fit for kids similar to what you describe.

Anonymous wrote:He can roughhouse with his brothers but the "tackling the dog" is a huge red flag about his behavior or your household rules or both.

PP with the boy boy above. I agree with this. We have an older dog and he absolutely cannot roughhouse with her or tackle and she's 85lb dog. And he's an only so sometimes that's his only "playmate".
You need to separate what is sensory input needs, his personal endurance/energy level, and inability to regulate his own body (including voice). And how they may be interacting. I'd also encourage you to see if diet plays a role- outside of sugar, which is pretty nonspecific to me. While a cupcake a day isn't great, dyes are more likely to be related with hyperactivity than sugar. Sugar buzzes would likely lead to zoomies with a crash. Hyperactivity or deregulation can be food related.

Anonymous wrote:He can roughhouse with his brothers but the "tackling the dog" is a huge red flag about his behavior or your household rules or both.

It can't be the household. Op is so strict, old school, military style.

He can roughhouse with his brothers but the "tackling the dog" is a huge red flag about his behavior or your household rules or both.

Op
I empathize with you. I have an only who has never been tired except when sick. Your son is not getting enough outdoor activity and needs sensory play in the morning. He needs a swing or some type of heavy work with the teachers or a job to do. They need to work with him and stop the negative talk.

My friend, who had a girl at the time, told me I was encouraging his activity level too much and that we should look into yoga and crafts to calm his body.
She has a boy boy now 😆 and apologized to me a few weeks ago.

My son walks 1.5 miles per day. Has 1-2 hours of playtime outside. He races against cars on our walks to school. He has wrestling 3 nights per week for 2 hours and he isn't fatigued. If he sleeps more than 11 hours per night or falls asleep in the middle of the day he's either sick or his pants are going to not fit in a week or 2 from a growth spurt.

I won't let him be broken or made to feel like his energy and endurance are bad things. He has the added complexity of being a mixed child and so we work on respectful behaviors and personal boundaries. We do 100% outdoor camps for winter and spring breaks. You have to create appropriate outlets and I would encourage you to think about how elementary school will likely be even more difficult as they don't have 1.5 hours of play during the day.

I have never met a kid with more energy than my son. And I don't mean destructive. I mean endurance. He plays full soccer games and isn't winded or tired afterwards. People don't get it until they experience it themselves. You need to parent or the same as being gifted or being on any other type of spectrum. He needs accommodations and those will need to be made by you and your family so he does not get labeled in school.

Anonymous wrote:Swimming, OP. Sign this kid up for swim lessons. At the very least, get him in the water on the weekends. It is tiring and the pressure from the water does so much to calm the energetic kids.

+1. That's a great suggestion for the winter. Since winter swimming is indoors, you may be able to stay a little later than sundown. That would give you a little more physical activity time than you could get doing outdoor exercise this time of the year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. My DH does drop off and pick up. I think the details of my commute and work hours are pretty boring but I leave the house at 7 and return at 4:30.

My sons are 8, 6, and 4. All of them participate in athletics, are over 100th percentile in height, etc. They are hilarious and fun! All are outgoing, opinionated, and loud. Big personalities all around, including DH. But of course we always emphasize listening to adults, being calm inside, and only playing rough when all parties agree.

I will look into karate for DS4. I hesitate to overschedule at his age, though. We don’t get this feedback from coaches, Sunday school teachers, or other adults, so I think it’s just being at school with no outlet in the mornings until playground time mid-morning.

Ohhhhh, you’re one of those “bIg pErSoNaLiTiEs” excuse-making moms. LOL indeed.

Boys will be boys excuse. Can't wait to see how he treats women.

I was the only girl with four brothers and this was my life growing up. My brothers are all normal but still love to prank and be goofy with each other… in their 40s.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. My DH does drop off and pick up. I think the details of my commute and work hours are pretty boring but I leave the house at 7 and return at 4:30.

My sons are 8, 6, and 4. All of them participate in athletics, are over 100th percentile in height, etc. They are hilarious and fun! All are outgoing, opinionated, and loud. Big personalities all around, including DH. But of course we always emphasize listening to adults, being calm inside, and only playing rough when all parties agree.

I will look into karate for DS4. I hesitate to overschedule at his age, though. We don’t get this feedback from coaches, Sunday school teachers, or other adults, so I think it’s just being at school with no outlet in the mornings until playground time mid-morning.

You need to stop the roughhousing, teach them quiet indoor voices and stop making excuses.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. My DH does drop off and pick up. I think the details of my commute and work hours are pretty boring but I leave the house at 7 and return at 4:30.

My sons are 8, 6, and 4. All of them participate in athletics, are over 100th percentile in height, etc. They are hilarious and fun! All are outgoing, opinionated, and loud. Big personalities all around, including DH. But of course we always emphasize listening to adults, being calm inside, and only playing rough when all parties agree.

I will look into karate for DS4. I hesitate to overschedule at his age, though. We don’t get this feedback from coaches, Sunday school teachers, or other adults, so I think it’s just being at school with no outlet in the mornings until playground time mid-morning.

Ohhhhh, you’re one of those “bIg pErSoNaLiTiEs” excuse-making moms. LOL indeed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned the apology letters in the past, but do you do anything else? How is he on weekends with other kids? Does he rough house with them ( it's hard to imagine this is a school only trend)? Watch him closely on the playground and step in and correct him when he is being too rough or no letting other kids have turns.

You said you are a teacher so I'm sure you can sympathize with the teachers in this situation. They probably have concerns that other kids will get hurt or don't get to contribute in class.

OP here. I completely sympathize with the teacher! We go to the playground often and his behavior is totally within the realm of normal 4 year old. PPs suggesting my kid doesn’t know how to “treat living beings” are hilarious!!! I was you!! Now I have three boys.

“Tackling the dog” is not cute or funny. Parenting issue. DP

OP excuse is three boys and at the behavior is there because she allows it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned the apology letters in the past, but do you do anything else? How is he on weekends with other kids? Does he rough house with them ( it's hard to imagine this is a school only trend)? Watch him closely on the playground and step in and correct him when he is being too rough or no letting other kids have turns.

You said you are a teacher so I'm sure you can sympathize with the teachers in this situation. They probably have concerns that other kids will get hurt or don't get to contribute in class.

OP here. I completely sympathize with the teacher! We go to the playground often and his behavior is totally within the realm of normal 4 year old. PPs suggesting my kid doesn’t know how to “treat living beings” are hilarious!!! I was you!! Now I have three boys.

“Tackling the dog” is not cute or funny. Parenting issue. DP

Swimming, OP. Sign this kid up for swim lessons. At the very least, get him in the water on the weekends. It is tiring and the pressure from the water does so much to calm the energetic kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned the apology letters in the past, but do you do anything else? How is he on weekends with other kids? Does he rough house with them ( it's hard to imagine this is a school only trend)? Watch him closely on the playground and step in and correct him when he is being too rough or no letting other kids have turns.

You said you are a teacher so I'm sure you can sympathize with the teachers in this situation. They probably have concerns that other kids will get hurt or don't get to contribute in class.

OP here. I completely sympathize with the teacher! We go to the playground often and his behavior is totally within the realm of normal 4 year old. PPs suggesting my kid doesn’t know how to “treat living beings” are hilarious!!! I was you!! Now I have three boys.

I have three boys and they are not allowed to tackle the dog.

Can we just call this a troll.

Op has an excuse for everything. So many active biggest ever boy children who have never caused problems anywhere and the longest work day ever as a teacher and is also teacher who has no idea how to handle an out of control kid and is the restricted no TV no sugar parent ever.