Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear kind DCUMers, had a few extremely busy work days and reading your responses now.

Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!

I suppose you are in favor of letting serial killers and mass shooters be excused due to their mental illness? Or is it that your son’s crime(s) were just so minor he should get a pass?

As a parent of a young adult with serious mental health issues who has had to call the police and have my child removed a number of times, I have to say that charges were never filed so I wonder if you’re downplaying the severity of the issues criminal actions.

As far as job hunting, as a parent, it took me sitting at the computer with my child and scribing answers on job applications and acting as a secretary to schedule interviews. Left to themselves, they would still be unemployed. It’s a lot of work to help some of our kids move forward.

Wow! I did not realize parents of mentally ill children can be so judgmental too.

Just so that I make it clear, no, I do not condone criminal act of violence.

My DC have had police called many times and this is the only time charges were filed. Even after this incident police were called 4 times back to back because our medical system is that broken. I cannot explain anymore details about the specifics because of the risk of DC’s privacy being violated.

I am glad that you are being able to help your child. Our circumstances may not be same.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you using they pronouns instead of his/her? Are there gender identity issues too?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m still sympathetic to OP. All you critics have no idea how little medical support the mentally ill get. It’s horrifying. Story after story in the news of criminal acts by the mentally ill neglect the multiple calls and requests for help made by family members. It’s a human disaster.

Disabled children are coddled with Medicaid benefits galore. Then you can sign up for government waivers to cover a lifetime of services. You do know serious mental illness patients get streets and prison cells? I have kids with both developmental disabilities and SMI and the SMI gets many fewer resources.

I'm also sympathetic as well as shocked by some of the responses here (though I don't think the disabled are necessarily "coddled" with Medicaid - at least it wasn't that way for my adult sibling).

The tragedy here is that a different cop, different police department may have handled this situation in a radically different way - one that recognized the individual's mental illness and attempted to preserve their ability to gain employment. Unfortunately, it is hit or miss across departments and sometimes even within them.

The OP is clearly grieving in many ways. Sounds like their DC was high functioning and is now struggling (and high functioning doesn't have to mean status chasing). I didn't read it as they were blaming the system for their DC's mental illness but expressing frustration at how the system is limiting their DC's ability to succeed in their new reality. Success here = gain employment, not enroll in an Ivy. That isn't an unreasonable aspiration, but a necessary reality, especially in a society where there isn't really a safety net for the mentally ill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear kind DCUMers, had a few extremely busy work days and reading your responses now.

Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!

This is similar to my story without the PBJ/arrest. Get it expunged. Do NOT work retail/serving if possible. Temp is best. Most companies look down on serving/baristas/etc unless there is a story behind it or if they were in school during the same period. Especially at his age. It is seen as a lackluster, cant find a real job problem. They know something is wrong with you if you dont fit the follow-the-yellow-brick-road-path of HS-->college-->internship-->job or higher education. And if you do those types of jobs, get a story. Get resume help. Use your family and friends, if possible. Volunteer. Take coding class or get certifications.

Look for companies that use an academic assessment prior to their interviews. Thats how I got hired at my company at 30 after going back to college to finish school after mental health issues. After graduating a semester early and with some graduate-level courses, I still couldn't get a job for 2.5 years because I had no "related" and recent experience even though I had worked real, full-time, corporate jobs in my early 20s. My self-confidence was shot, and I wondered why I even went back to finish my degree when I couldn't even get the same jobs with my degree that I worked prior to finishing my degree. It was a dark and frustrating period. And I am sure that the lack of confidence came through as well. And then when a good opportunity would fall through, it made it worse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear kind DCUMers, had a few extremely busy work days and reading your responses now.

Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!

I suppose you are in favor of letting serial killers and mass shooters be excused due to their mental illness? Or is it that your son’s crime(s) were just so minor he should get a pass?

As a parent of a young adult with serious mental health issues who has had to call the police and have my child removed a number of times, I have to say that charges were never filed so I wonder if you’re downplaying the severity of the issues criminal actions.

As far as job hunting, as a parent, it took me sitting at the computer with my child and scribing answers on job applications and acting as a secretary to schedule interviews. Left to themselves, they would still be unemployed. It’s a lot of work to help some of our kids move forward.

Anonymous wrote:What about a job at NAMI?

https://www.salary.com/job/nami-maryland-inc/administrative-assistant/j202310162310448485761?utm_campaign=google_jobs_apply&utm_source=google_jobs_apply&utm_medium=organic

Anonymous wrote:I’m still sympathetic to OP. All you critics have no idea how little medical support the mentally ill get. It’s horrifying. Story after story in the news of criminal acts by the mentally ill neglect the multiple calls and requests for help made by family members. It’s a human disaster.

Disabled children are coddled with Medicaid benefits galore. Then you can sign up for government waivers to cover a lifetime of services. You do know serious mental illness patients get streets and prison cells? I have kids with both developmental disabilities and SMI and the SMI gets many fewer resources.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you lead with the stats run down of your adult child. But who is your child if you cannot tell us how they are gifted, or tell us their GPA, or their degrees, or their awards?

How would you describe your kid in a positive way minus all of that? Can you begin to approach your kid in that way instead? After years spent chasing achievement, sometimes young adults wake up and think "who am I?" They never got to figure it out along the way while stat chasing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear kind DCUMers, had a few extremely busy work days and reading your responses now.

Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!

Honestly- what do you expect? Every Tom, Dick, or Sally who commits robbery, assault, murder could say they did not have their full faculties intact at that time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear kind DCUMers, had a few extremely busy work days and reading your responses now.

Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!

This is similar to my story without the PBJ/arrest. Get it expunged. Do NOT work retail/serving if possible. Temp is best. Most companies look down on serving/baristas/etc unless there is a story behind it or if they were in school during the same period. Especially at his age. It is seen as a lackluster, cant find a real job problem. They know something is wrong with you if you dont fit the follow-the-yellow-brick-road-path of HS-->college-->internship-->job or higher education. And if you do those types of jobs, get a story. Get resume help. Use your family and friends, if possible. Volunteer. Take coding class or get certifications.

Look for companies that use an academic assessment prior to their interviews. Thats how I got hired at my company at 30 after going back to college to finish school after mental health issues. After graduating a semester early and with some graduate-level courses, I still couldn't get a job for 2.5 years because I had no "related" and recent experience even though I had worked real, full-time, corporate jobs in my early 20s. My self-confidence was shot, and I wondered why I even went back to finish my degree when I couldn't even get the same jobs with my degree that I worked prior to finishing my degree. It was a dark and frustrating period. And I am sure that the lack of confidence came through as well. And then when a good opportunity would fall through, it made it worse.

Anonymous wrote:I’m still sympathetic to OP. All you critics have no idea how little medical support the mentally ill get. It’s horrifying. Story after story in the news of criminal acts by the mentally ill neglect the multiple calls and requests for help made by family members. It’s a human disaster.

Disabled children are coddled with Medicaid benefits galore. Then you can sign up for government waivers to cover a lifetime of services. You do know serious mental illness patients get streets and prison cells? I have kids with both developmental disabilities and SMI and the SMI gets many fewer resources.

Anonymous wrote:Dear kind DCUMers, had a few extremely busy work days and reading your responses now.

Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!

Anonymous wrote:Dear kind DCUMers, had a few extremely busy work days and reading your responses now.

Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!