Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Men wouldn't make a big deal out of 15-20 pounds. I know because when I was dating my weight has fluctuated that much and I haven't observed any noticeable change in interest either way. It's only women of a certain type who notice a 5 lbs change in others. I don't know what the atory was with your friends but it's not the 15 lbs.

That pp didnt say the women were 15-20 pounds overweight. She was careful to say 15-20 pounds more than would be appealing to men. In other words anywhere from 40-60 pounds overweight, depending on the guy and the women.

im a guy and agree with this. 15-20 not a problem (some would say im 10-15 overweight)40-60 a nonstarter.

I’m 40lbs more than what “men want” but hardly overweights

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been noticing several of my single friends complaining about not being married (ages 35-42). I used to offer advice and even help with matchmaking. Now I’m starting to realize these people are single for a reason. Some are not emotionally available, some have very unrealistic expectations, some are selfish, some waste time in dead end matches. It made me wonder what are some other common ways people make getting married hard in this age range?

Troll

I don’t know anyone “complaining about not being married.”

I certainly hear a lot of add dates but no one is complaining about being married.

Besides, what’s worse: never being married, stuck in a bad marriage w an inevitable divorce in the horizon?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly high expectations is has a job, is not a slob, is kind and doesn’t cheat.

Not sure this list is complete. I tick those boxes but I’m short and not attractive and not outgoing and yet women aren’t drawn to me.

You gotta.go for a short unattractive gal then. Or try to make more money, that seems to make up for a lot.

Short women are the worst. They want crazy tall men (partly so their kids are less likely to be short).

I beg to differ. I want someone I don't need to crick my neck to look at all the time. I married someone just an inch or two taller than me. Most people are taller than either of us. We have short kids. It's fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Men wouldn't make a big deal out of 15-20 pounds. I know because when I was dating my weight has fluctuated that much and I haven't observed any noticeable change in interest either way. It's only women of a certain type who notice a 5 lbs change in others. I don't know what the atory was with your friends but it's not the 15 lbs.

That pp didnt say the women were 15-20 pounds overweight. She was careful to say 15-20 pounds more than would be appealing to men. In other words anywhere from 40-60 pounds overweight, depending on the guy and the women.

im a guy and agree with this. 15-20 not a problem (some would say im 10-15 overweight)40-60 a nonstarter.

You’re fat yourself so of course you have to settle. Not everyone is and does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single women make up 17% of homeowners. Single men? 9%. We don't need mediocre white men to live fulfilling lives.

https://www.bankrate.com/mortgages/single-women-pursue-homeownership/#:~:text=As%20of%202023%2C%20single%20women,percent%20of%20real%20estate%20purchases.)

Watching my daughter date is funny. She rejected the last guy because he had a lot of student loans and lives at home and his mother looks after his laundry and meals. She is like “I can do better. I want a partner not to be someone’s mom.” I admire her high standards but feel a bit like the clock is ticking. Also funny how comfortable this generation is talking about money.

Her intuition is not off. Sounds like guy is already in a relationship... with his mom.

+1. Huge red flags. He would be a nightmare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Men wouldn't make a big deal out of 15-20 pounds. I know because when I was dating my weight has fluctuated that much and I haven't observed any noticeable change in interest either way. It's only women of a certain type who notice a 5 lbs change in others. I don't know what the atory was with your friends but it's not the 15 lbs.

That pp didnt say the women were 15-20 pounds overweight. She was careful to say 15-20 pounds more than would be appealing to men. In other words anywhere from 40-60 pounds overweight, depending on the guy and the women.

im a guy and agree with this. 15-20 not a problem (some would say im 10-15 overweight)40-60 a nonstarter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I look at my never-married 35+ friends, the common denominator is that they all wasted too much of their prime dating years (early to late 20s) in dead-end relationships. These women are kind, attractive, employed, and it's not that they have crazy high standards, it's that the vast majority of same-age men are either already off the market or wanting to date younger.

Yeah that’s a rough time for women until you start getting a lot older. Options are basically date older - a guy age 43+ if you’re 35 most likely and then adjust from there. Date blue collar instead of white collar. Or date YOUNGER especially if the woman is financially in decent condition. I have a friend who was married young, divorced young with a kid. She has a really decent job as a middle school principal in a medium COL area and is quite pretty (I’m sure that fact is important). She recently remarried to a guy about 10 years younger who is a fitness trainer and amateur athlete. Ages 37/27ish. He loves being a stepdad, kid’s bio dad is barely in the picture, and they haven’t closed the door on having a kid together either.

+1. It’s definitely a numbers game. Only so many hot, nice, sex-positive women who don’t state their opinions to go around. Most men will have to give on something - average looking, moody, dead bedroom, feminist.

Same for women. Only so many wealthy, generous, good looking, non maga men. Most women will have to give on income, asshatery, short/bald, or conservative views.

It’s only the top 5% of each that get the whole package. The vast majority of men don’t marry gorgeous women. And the vast majority of women don’t marry the seven figure income men.

Many educated women insist on marry a man with a degree. With 60% of college students female, women will be left out if they don’t marry men with a degree. With the obesity epidemic in America, the majority of women are overweight. Men will have to marry larger women or they will be left out. The people who don’t realize this remain single.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single women make up 17% of homeowners. Single men? 9%. We don't need mediocre white men to live fulfilling lives.

https://www.bankrate.com/mortgages/single-women-pursue-homeownership/#:~:text=As%20of%202023%2C%20single%20women,percent%20of%20real%20estate%20purchases.)

Watching my daughter date is funny. She rejected the last guy because he had a lot of student loans and lives at home and his mother looks after his laundry and meals. She is like “I can do better. I want a partner not to be someone’s mom.” I admire her high standards but feel a bit like the clock is ticking. Also funny how comfortable this generation is talking about money.

Her intuition is not off. Sounds like guy is already in a relationship... with his mom.

Anonymous wrote:They don't understand what men want. Men want a peaceful, calm home environment. They don't want combat, they want cooperation. Your date is listening to how you talk on a date -- about yourself, your expectations, and especially your exes. If you disparage your ex, then the guy will be thinking: will she do this to me, too?
Women often start talking but stop thinking about how they are coming across as they're talking. Ooof, no thanks lady, I'm out.

+1

My friend seemed to miss the mark on what type of man she wanted to attract. She is the sweetest, pretty, nice Catholic practicing but not fanatical, girl next door. She wanted to have lots of kids and be a stay at home mom. The problem was she dressed like she was a hippie and had dreadlocks in her blond hair. The types of guy she wanted were not interested in that kind of girl but they never got the chance to know her. She’s never even smoked pot. I kept telling her to dress and act the part for the husband you want. But it was just too late for her.

They don't understand what men want. Men want a peaceful, calm home environment. They don't want combat, they want cooperation. Your date is listening to how you talk on a date -- about yourself, your expectations, and especially your exes. If you disparage your ex, then the guy will be thinking: will she do this to me, too?
Women often start talking but stop thinking about how they are coming across as they're talking. Ooof, no thanks lady, I'm out.

Anonymous wrote:We'll reach gender equality when dumb women find it entirely normal to say that a man was genuinely attractive facially but dumpy.

Many females begin talking that way in the first grade.

Anonymous wrote:When I look at my never-married 35+ friends, the common denominator is that they all wasted too much of their prime dating years (early to late 20s) in dead-end relationships. These women are kind, attractive, employed, and it's not that they have crazy high standards, it's that the vast majority of same-age men are either already off the market or wanting to date younger.

Yeah that’s a rough time for women until you start getting a lot older. Options are basically date older - a guy age 43+ if you’re 35 most likely and then adjust from there. Date blue collar instead of white collar. Or date YOUNGER especially if the woman is financially in decent condition. I have a friend who was married young, divorced young with a kid. She has a really decent job as a middle school principal in a medium COL area and is quite pretty (I’m sure that fact is important). She recently remarried to a guy about 10 years younger who is a fitness trainer and amateur athlete. Ages 37/27ish. He loves being a stepdad, kid’s bio dad is barely in the picture, and they haven’t closed the door on having a kid together either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly high expectations is has a job, is not a slob, is kind and doesn’t cheat.

Not sure this list is complete. I tick those boxes but I’m short and not attractive and not outgoing and yet women aren’t drawn to me.

It's not that you are short it's that you are trying to date hot chicks. I have a ton of friends that would date a nice guy with a job who does not cheat and doesn't expect them to clean up after them no matter their height.

I suspect you look right through those women because they are not beautiful and skinny, and I'm not talking about obese, i'm talking normal.

FWIW my dad is short and my mom is tall and beautiful, and they've been happily married for over 50 years.

I'm married to a guy who is really overweight, and I love him to death.

Stereotypes about what this group of people will go for or that group of people won't are pretty off base. Be kind, funny, interested, interesting, not a total effin weirdo - you can meet someone you actually want to be with who will actually want to be with you.

I cannot help but notice that in your example it is women who married against type. Stories of men doing so seem fewer.

When I look at my never-married 35+ friends, the common denominator is that they all wasted too much of their prime dating years (early to late 20s) in dead-end relationships. These women are kind, attractive, employed, and it's not that they have crazy high standards, it's that the vast majority of same-age men are either already off the market or wanting to date younger.