Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:to wit:"Our Abilities Model® starts with gifts and helps all students — conventional learners as well as those with challenges such as dyslexia, anxiety, and ADHD, or organizational challenges".

That is not on the spectrum.

NP. I have a DC with ASD (mild, sorry not sorry), who is on/above grade level, and some some executive functioning and organizational challenges. I would read the above and think it would be a good fit for my DC - until they say out loud that they do not take kids with ASD. Okay, then, no. We would walk out then too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC has an ADHD/mild ASD diagnosis. We went to the McLean School Open House this morning. We thought it might be a good fit for ninth grade because it advertises itself as serving ADHD kids with the types of accommodations DC receives in middle school.

Here's how McLean markets itself (from its website):

"Each application is assessed on an individual basis to ensure that McLean is able to meet the needs of our students. While McLean provides embedded academic support in the classroom, we are most successful with bright students whose primary challenge is not behavioral, social, or emotional."

DC's primary challenges are executive-functioning related. DC has a very slow processing speed. With accommodations, DC is getting straight As and is taking Algebra in eighth grade.

We thought, cool. This could work.

Nope.

During her presentation, the co-head of school said: "Here's who we do well serving: Kids with ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety, or executive functioning deficits. Here's who we do not service well: Kids on the autism spectrum." Categorically.

As anyone with a special needs kid knows, lots of ADHD kids have pretty serious behavioral/social/emotional issues, and a lot of ASD kids don't. Indeed, as they say, "If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism."

My daughter was sitting next to me in a room of parents and prospective students when the head of school made this statement. She was mortified. Why would you make that statement to a group of middle-school and high-school kids who might have an ASD diagnosis?

If McLean doesn't want kids with ASD, then it should say so on its website. The primary challenge for many ADHD/ASD kids is not "behavioral, social, or emotional." They might be socially awkward, but they have friends, play sports, and function well in a mainstream environment." Or, if the school is willing to take ASD kids who do not have "behavioral/social/emotional issues," then do not state that as a category, you do not serve ASD kids well.

It really sucked for my kid to go to an open house, only to hear, "You're not welcome here." We walked out.

McLean in its presentation stated that is not a "therapeutic school," even though it provides all the supports that kids get in their public school 504 plans and IEPs. My take is that McLean is concerned that if it takes ASD kids (whether they'll do well there or not), it will be viewed as a "therapeutic school." ADHD is fine, but ASD has a stigma attached.

In any event, if you have an ASD kid, don't go to the open house. Don't apply. The school seems...mean.

OP, we had a kid at McLean School well over a decade ago. It has never taken kids on the spectrum. Here's what it says. https://www.mcleanschool.org/academics/. Where does it say "ASD"? You should have picked up the phone and called.

Did you miss the PP who stated their McLean student has classmates with ASD?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This co-head is an interim and is only there until the new head comes next summer. From my understanding, no one is happy about the co-head situation at the school.

I have no idea why she was speaking for the admissions director but please know that there are students at McLean with autism in their profile.

My child is at a different school far away with a very similar profile to McLean. The past few years have a time of a lot of change in our student body. At some point just before the pandemic our K-8 school became known of being quietly good at accommodating neurodiversity. Unfortunately this was true for the then 2-3 neurodiverse students in each grade but it wasn’t scalable. As more families with kids with higher (and often undeclared) needs sought the school out during and after the pandemic, it didn’t have the resources for grades with 25% of students needing accommodations. Families of typical learners got mad because they sensed- possibly inaccurately- that resources were disproportionally going to neurodiverse students. By late elementary/middle school, there are now a lot of kids applying out to 5-12 and 6-12 schools because of socially imbalanced grades. When you have a grade of 35 kids and 5 kids of each gender are missing social cues or not interacting in the same way as others, middle school spidey sense is activated. Kids know, and middle school kids aren’t as kind or patient towards their different classmates as they were in 1st grade.

Our head of school hasn’t yet stood up and say “we can’t accommodate kids with autism” but that is probably the next step in terms of managing enrollment, retention, and resources. It’s a nasty thing to do at an open house that includes students, though. I’m sorry, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A private school has a right to serve a certain segment of the population as long as it doesn’t discriminate.

Just based on what you report the school doesn’t say - we don’t accept students with autism so don’t apply. They said “ But the co-head of school said that the school does not serve ASD kids well”. You need to focus on the “well”

So why are you so upset? If your child doesn’t have many characteristics of autism at school then the school might in fact accept your child because the school might serve them well.

Not all private schools can be everything to everyone.

Saying in public that the school doesn't serve ASD students "well" is a way to discourage ASD students from applying. Could you imagine if a school said, "we don't serve african-american students well"? Or if a school said we don't serve non-native English speakers well? Or "we don't serve blind kids well"

Saying "we don't serve ASD students well" is disability discrimination. Even private schools have to comply with the ADA, which requires them to make "reasonable accommodations". The decision about what accommodations are necessary and "reasonable" needs to be made on an individualized basis -- not on the basis of diagnosis. No one is in a position to say, "all ASD students need X accommodation, which is always unreasonable and therefore no ASD students have to be admitted to this school."

It is also a different thing to say, "we have evaluated your child (or read the evaluation reports), and it seems clear that your child needs XYZ kinds of instruction, which we are not qualified to offer and/or which would require hiring an unreasonable amount of staff or spending an unreasonable amount of time in instruction just for your kid and/or we offer another kind of instruction that is not beneficial to your kid."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP: how is it abelist and wrong? Some kids with autism are nonverbal and cannot attend school. Other kids can attend mainstream schools without any support. And kids fall anywhere in between. When you get an autism diagnosis, it's literally measured on a numerical system. It's called Autism SPECTRUM Disorder. The accommodations recommended for ASD kids are largely based on that measure. Do you really think a kid who can function in a mainstream school is the same as a kid who can't speak, wears diapers, and requires a caregiver? They are all the same? We measure intelligence on a scale. Is that ableist? We measure executive functioning skills on a scale, too. Is any measure ableist? When I say "high-functioning," I'm referring to a kid at the end of the spectrum who needs little to no supports. Honestly, that's like saying that describing someone as having a "stage" of cancer is wrong because anyone who has cancer just has cancer.

OP- a couple of helpful tips. Identify yourself as the OP when you post and tap the blue “quote” button on the upper right of a post to which you are responding. It makes a thread more cohesive.

Thanks! I'm a rookie. So sorry that I messed up the string.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP: how is it abelist and wrong? Some kids with autism are nonverbal and cannot attend school. Other kids can attend mainstream schools without any support. And kids fall anywhere in between. When you get an autism diagnosis, it's literally measured on a numerical system. It's called Autism SPECTRUM Disorder. The accommodations recommended for ASD kids are largely based on that measure. Do you really think a kid who can function in a mainstream school is the same as a kid who can't speak, wears diapers, and requires a caregiver? They are all the same? We measure intelligence on a scale. Is that ableist? We measure executive functioning skills on a scale, too. Is any measure ableist? When I say "high-functioning," I'm referring to a kid at the end of the spectrum who needs little to no supports. Honestly, that's like saying that describing someone as having a "stage" of cancer is wrong because anyone who has cancer just has cancer.

OP- a couple of helpful tips. Identify yourself as the OP when you post and tap the blue “quote” button on the upper right of a post to which you are responding. It makes a thread more cohesive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP: how is it abelist and wrong? Some kids with autism are nonverbal and cannot attend school. Other kids can attend mainstream schools without any support. And kids fall anywhere in between. When you get an autism diagnosis, it's literally measured on a numerical system. It's called Autism SPECTRUM Disorder. The accommodations recommended for ASD kids are largely based on that measure. Do you really think a kid who can function in a mainstream school is the same as a kid who can't speak, wears diapers, and requires a caregiver? They are all the same? We measure intelligence on a scale. Is that ableist? We measure executive functioning skills on a scale, too. Is any measure ableist? When I say "high-functioning," I'm referring to a kid at the end of the spectrum who needs little to no supports. Honestly, that's like saying that describing someone as having a "stage" of cancer is wrong because anyone who has cancer just has cancer.

Nothing about autism is mild though realistically speaking. Even “high functioning” autism still impacts an individual’s life on a daily basis. It still requires hours upon hours of interventions, constant hard work from the individual with autism, nothing high functioning or mild about it. I don’t mind the term personally and don’t think it’s ableist but never forget the fact that high functioning or mild or level 1 autism is anything but difficult. Sure it’s a different set of challenges than level 2 or 3 or other disabilities but the challenges are real and often debilitating even if others consider it mild.

Anonymous wrote:
OP, it appears your rigidity is making you lose track of what's actually going to happen in practice.

If you're looking for executive functioning help for a kid who also has a mild autism that manifests itself as a slight quirkiness in school, then this school is telling you that it can work. MANY kids have that ADHD/ASD profile.

What they're telling you is that they don't want to address autistic struggles with too many sensory issues, non-compliance with directions, lack of academic skills, etc. They don't want to address aggression or violence, whether it's related to ADHD or ASD on paper.

Since you described your son as mildly ASD, you'll have to weigh whether that works for you. I don't know your kid, but it seems as if this school would be a good fit.

Anonymous wrote:PP: how is it abelist and wrong? Some kids with autism are nonverbal and cannot attend school. Other kids can attend mainstream schools without any support. And kids fall anywhere in between. When you get an autism diagnosis, it's literally measured on a numerical system. It's called Autism SPECTRUM Disorder. The accommodations recommended for ASD kids are largely based on that measure. Do you really think a kid who can function in a mainstream school is the same as a kid who can't speak, wears diapers, and requires a caregiver? They are all the same? We measure intelligence on a scale. Is that ableist? We measure executive functioning skills on a scale, too. Is any measure ableist? When I say "high-functioning," I'm referring to a kid at the end of the spectrum who needs little to no supports. Honestly, that's like saying that describing someone as having a "stage" of cancer is wrong because anyone who has cancer just has cancer.

Anonymous wrote:This co-head is an interim and is only there until the new head comes next summer. From my understanding, no one is happy about the co-head situation at the school.

I have no idea why she was speaking for the admissions director but please know that there are students at McLean with autism in their profile.

Anonymous wrote:A private school has a right to serve a certain segment of the population as long as it doesn’t discriminate.

Just based on what you report the school doesn’t say - we don’t accept students with autism so don’t apply. They said “ But the co-head of school said that the school does not serve ASD kids well”. You need to focus on the “well”

So why are you so upset? If your child doesn’t have many characteristics of autism at school then the school might in fact accept your child because the school might serve them well.

Not all private schools can be everything to everyone.

Anonymous wrote:16:15. Thanks for the feedback. If you don't mind my asking, is it Commonwealth?

Anonymous wrote:Have you met many children with autism that don’t have ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety, or executive functioning deficits? It’s like a completely different category than ADHD with some mild ASD symptoms. They really need to change the DSM to have better differentiation. McLean is a good school, sorry it’s not a good fit for your child.