Why is OP so concerned about what the friend does for his girlfriend?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me rephrase my question so this doesn't diverge into me being an ahole or jealous of my friend's relationship.

Do you like getting flowers? If so, how often?

It doesn't matter what I like. It matters what your girlfriend likes.
If she wants flowers buy her the damn flowers.
Your friend and his girlfriend are irrelevant

I love flowers and I always make sure to have them in the house. I cut bouquets from my garden in summer and buy bunches at the grocery store the rest of the year. My DH brings me florist flowers for Valentine’s and Mother’s Day and on my birthday.

I buy them for my wife weekly. Just something I do. She would t complain if I didn’t get them, but doesn’t complain that I do.

I love getting flowers. My DH never sends them unless I request them and literally include a link to a florist. I had some exes who sent them regularly. But I really, really like flowers; I know the names of all of them, know what colors they come in, have visited a wholesale flower market, and will buy them for myself. YMMV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Complete waste of money. No thanks. (Woman, age 46).

I hope you are my 46-year-old wife

Nope. I am divorced. When he did not want a divorce, he bought me a fancy bouquet. Dude--after 10 years of marriage...you don't realize I can't stand flowers? WTF. All the more reason to get a divorce. He did not even know me.

Anonymous wrote:Friend of mine send flowers to his GF all the time. I personally think flowers are overrated, kind of lazy, requires no thought, or effort. I’d much rather show my appreciation for someone by getting them something thoughtful, or doing something for them that takes effort like a homemade gift. I still get my GF flowers occasionally but not all the time. Just seems a little cliche. I’m constantly doing, showing, and saying how much I care for her in ways that take way more effort than picking up flowers but maybe I’m misjudging the flower power.

Thoughts on getting flowers often (like weekly or monthly). Like it? Meh? Waste of money?

Focus more on your GF and less on feeling inferior to your buddy.

Anonymous wrote:Flowers signify a romantic relationship. If a man never gives them it’s a sex buddy

Flowers every week. After 8 years she left for the "sex buddy".

I get a few bouquets from the grocery store from my husband maybe 4-6 times a year. Its nice. I also like when he brings me something like a little candy bar or something to know he was thinking about me. He also does things like make me chocolate chip pancakes like this morning. OP it's the thought the counts not really what it is just that they're thinking of you.

I would like some flowers every now and then. Unfortunately my husband thinks they're a waste of money, and prefers to buy plants that can grow for years in the garden. I see his point, but what he doesn't understand is that in addition to this gardening hobby of his, I'd like something in the house, on the dining room table, and that the gesture of occasionally giving me things is important. Not buying stuff at Home Depot in a utilitarian pot, digging a hole, and telling me: "look what I got on sale this weekend!".

You don't need to overdo things, though. The most important thing is your loyalty, care and affection, particularly in stressful times. Gifts, while nice to receive, don't compensate if the above are lacking.

It all depends on the woman. If she loves flowers, it’s a wonderful gift. If not - then not so much. I’m not into them, so DH never gets them for me. But he knows I love chocolate and will grab me some from time to time. What other women who are not your GF think is irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me rephrase my question so this doesn't diverge into me being an ahole or jealous of my friend's relationship.

Do you like getting flowers? If so, how often?

Don't worry, ha, you don't seem jealous!

Yes, I like flowers. I would say maybe once a month, but it's not something I feel strongly about.

But there are two important points you seem to be missing: 1) everybody feels differently about this so crowdsourcing probably won't help much 2) the frequency of flowers hardly means anything compared to more important things like emotional intimacy, a good personality, etc.

OP here. Let me rephrase my question so this doesn't diverge into me being an ahole or jealous of my friend's relationship.

Do you like getting flowers? If so, how often?

Anonymous wrote:I just think it’s easy and doesn’t require much thought. I didn’t mention that my friend is currently cheating on her so feels like an empty gesture.

You seems too interested in his girlfriend, let them figure out their relationship themselves. If she doesn't like flowers all the time, she can say so. If he is cheating on her, its going to end anyways, flowers or no flowers.

Anonymous wrote:I just think it’s easy and doesn’t require much thought. I didn’t mention that my friend is currently cheating on her so feels like an empty gesture.

Well, it is an empty gesture. But so would all those nice thoughtful things you do for your girlfriend if you were cheating on her.

You are doing fine, but you just need to realize that everybody is different and that's okay (except the cheating).