Op here
He once told me I would never leave you because you are the mother of my son.
But when our marriage has been rocky , he said something along the lines that I can do whatever I want to do, ie leave him if I want to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know for a FACT? How do you know this?

I am a divorced single woman and my friend’s husband is practically on call helping me with personal finance and cybersecurity. He’s just helpful, and I’m just grateful, bc he knows things I don’t and is kind enough to help me. Zero chance of or interest in an affair on either side.

I have seen them flirt/tease/talk for hours even in a group setting.
He has other female friend who is super friendly and so is he but they dont flirt- flirting is a very obvious thing.

Sounds like he's already made his choice.

What are you going to do?

You can't stop an affair

I don’t think you need to worry about the specifics of this woman because if you’re so sure he would have an affair with her, he would find someone no matter what you do.

Anonymous wrote:Tell him that it looks like she has a crush on him and it is making you uncomfortable.

If he nips it in the bud, you can continue working on your marriage. If he doesn't, divorce.

I am leaning towards talking to him but that might be
“think what you may”
answer from him.

Anonymous wrote:You know for a FACT? How do you know this?

I am a divorced single woman and my friend’s husband is practically on call helping me with personal finance and cybersecurity. He’s just helpful, and I’m just grateful, bc he knows things I don’t and is kind enough to help me. Zero chance of or interest in an affair on either side.

As OP explained, this isn't "a friend's husband". The husband is the main friend and they seem prefer each other's company.

Anonymous wrote:You know for a FACT? How do you know this?

I am a divorced single woman and my friend’s husband is practically on call helping me with personal finance and cybersecurity. He’s just helpful, and I’m just grateful, bc he knows things I don’t and is kind enough to help me. Zero chance of or interest in an affair on either side.

I have seen them flirt/tease/talk for hours even in a group setting.
He has other female friend who is super friendly and so is he but they dont flirt- flirting is a very obvious thing.

Why are you avoiding her?

Playing silly games isn't going to work
Neither is becoming her bestie.

Neither is telling him he can't forward the resume.

If your DH wants to cheat he will.

If he wants to leave you for her he will.

The only thing for you to do is to decide you will be okay with or without.

Do individual therapy. Make sure your financials are in order. Figure out what kind of housing you can afford on your own if you needed.

Basically you're going to Katie Holmes him. You don't have to divorce him but you're going to have your ducks in a row so that if he decides to be an idiot you won't be caught scrambling

You know for a FACT? How do you know this?

I am a divorced single woman and my friend’s husband is practically on call helping me with personal finance and cybersecurity. He’s just helpful, and I’m just grateful, bc he knows things I don’t and is kind enough to help me. Zero chance of or interest in an affair on either side.

Anonymous wrote:I’d be so annoyed at this! OP will have major anxiety if the woman ends up getting a job at her husband’s place of work. My DH hired someone who I think he has a crush on and it’s very stressful on a daily basis.

How do you live like this?

Anonymous wrote:Why not just talk to him about what you’ve noticed and your worries? Put down a boundary. Flirting is disrespectful to you and the marriage.

OP can't put down a boundary. DH can.
If OP puts down a boundary, DH will sneak around it or be resentful.
If DH doesn't put down a boundary, he made his choice.

Anonymous wrote:Why not just talk to him about what you’ve noticed and your worries? Put down a boundary. Flirting is disrespectful to you and the marriage.

This is the right answer.

He can choose to see it has a loving remark, or an attack on his probity (if you’re in a bad place), but what it really is, is a warning.

And be sure you have a good handle on your finances.

Anonymous wrote:He's probably already smashed that chick, but I think you should talk to DH.

I think something has already happened as well.

He's probably already smashed that chick, but I think you should talk to DH.

I’d be so annoyed at this! OP will have major anxiety if the woman ends up getting a job at her husband’s place of work. My DH hired someone who I think he has a crush on and it’s very stressful on a daily basis.

Do not avoid her. Try to befriend her. It'll make it easier to keep an eye on her. When/if she gets the job, invite her to a celebratory dinner with your husband. Tell her she can bring a significant other.