Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is a freshman and it is really hard to get him to communicate about girls. I guess this is common but he is now talking to a girl and I only know about it because one of his friends brought her up in the car on two separate occasions.

How do you navigate talking to them that won’t have them clam up immediately?

Oh and I am not one of those you can’t date or this girl doesn’t deserve my son type of moms, and he knows this.

I am just hoping he is treating her right, being respectful, going slow etc….

You care more about some girl you have never met vs your own son?

Never did the OP say that but we certainly know what type of boy mom YOU are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is a freshman and it is really hard to get him to communicate about girls. I guess this is common but he is now talking to a girl and I only know about it because one of his friends brought her up in the car on two separate occasions.

How do you navigate talking to them that won’t have them clam up immediately?

Oh and I am not one of those you can’t date or this girl doesn’t deserve my son type of moms, and he knows this.

I am just hoping he is treating her right, being respectful, going slow etc….

You care more about some girl you have never met vs your own son?

Never did the OP say that but we certainly know what type of boy mom YOU are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is a freshman and it is really hard to get him to communicate about girls. I guess this is common but he is now talking to a girl and I only know about it because one of his friends brought her up in the car on two separate occasions.

How do you navigate talking to them that won’t have them clam up immediately?

Oh and I am not one of those you can’t date or this girl doesn’t deserve my son type of moms, and he knows this.

I am just hoping he is treating her right, being respectful, going slow etc….

You care more about some girl you have never met vs your own son?

So are we teaching our sons to not care how they treat girls in their lives?!?!?

Anonymous wrote:My son is a freshman and it is really hard to get him to communicate about girls. I guess this is common but he is now talking to a girl and I only know about it because one of his friends brought her up in the car on two separate occasions.

How do you navigate talking to them that won’t have them clam up immediately?

Oh and I am not one of those you can’t date or this girl doesn’t deserve my son type of moms, and he knows this.

I am just hoping he is treating her right, being respectful, going slow etc….

You care more about some girl you have never met vs your own son?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, he will not talk about it with you. This is normal behavior for a teen. Back off.

+1 These posts lately are making me nostalgic for my 90s upbringing when parents had no clue what their kids were thinking or doing.

My high school boyfriend in the 90s was like part of the family. Mowed the lawn, we often ate dinner at each other's homes, our parents came out to the other's sporting events. Maybe your parents were just checked out.

They were, but it was fine. I wasn’t getting into any trouble. They didn’t need to know who I had crushes on. I went on to have good romantic relationships and I still like my parents.

but did they know about your boyfriends?

DP, not in high school. It was rarely that serious. I don’t need to know who my son is talking to unless it gets serious. For most high schoolers, dating is pretty casual and before that they just text or see each other where ever. I don’t expect to know all that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, he will not talk about it with you. This is normal behavior for a teen. Back off.

+1 These posts lately are making me nostalgic for my 90s upbringing when parents had no clue what their kids were thinking or doing.

My high school boyfriend in the 90s was like part of the family. Mowed the lawn, we often ate dinner at each other's homes, our parents came out to the other's sporting events. Maybe your parents were just checked out.

They were, but it was fine. I wasn’t getting into any trouble. They didn’t need to know who I had crushes on. I went on to have good romantic relationships and I still like my parents.

but did they know about your boyfriends?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son does some but not a lot. I actually get more out of his girlfriend about him than I do him about his girlfriend. LOL

I found my son to be more open when he was in a secure relationship. He clams up when he is single.

I wish. My son’s GF is so needy and clingy and accuses him of anything and everything. She isn’t supportive of his basketball and gets jealous when he is out with any friends, even when he is just playing sports. He has a few friends since ES that are girls and she hates them. He seems to think that means she really likes him and I am like RED FLAG!!! But if I put my 2 cents in, he would probably like her more. Sigh

Anonymous wrote:My son does some but not a lot. I actually get more out of his girlfriend about him than I do him about his girlfriend. LOL

I found my son to be more open when he was in a secure relationship. He clams up when he is single.

different strokes for different folks. my sister shared everything with my mom, and i shared nothing (dating-related). we both loved our parents, me certainly no less than my sister, but our relationships were different in that respect. i think something similar will happen with my own daughters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, he will not talk about it with you. This is normal behavior for a teen. Back off.

+1 These posts lately are making me nostalgic for my 90s upbringing when parents had no clue what their kids were thinking or doing.

My high school boyfriend in the 90s was like part of the family. Mowed the lawn, we often ate dinner at each other's homes, our parents came out to the other's sporting events. Maybe your parents were just checked out.

They were, but it was fine. I wasn’t getting into any trouble. They didn’t need to know who I had crushes on. I went on to have good romantic relationships and I still like my parents.

My son does some but not a lot. I actually get more out of his girlfriend about him than I do him about his girlfriend. LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, he will not talk about it with you. This is normal behavior for a teen. Back off.

+1 These posts lately are making me nostalgic for my 90s upbringing when parents had no clue what their kids were thinking or doing.

My high school boyfriend in the 90s was like part of the family. Mowed the lawn, we often ate dinner at each other's homes, our parents came out to the other's sporting events. Maybe your parents were just checked out.

Mine did not until he was sort of forced to in order to arrange time to hang out with a girlfriend (before he could drive). I did everything possible to be very normal, no teasing, no lecturing, just nice and welcoming and not weird about it. He opened up more and more after that, like I got some trust for not making the whole thing uncomfortable. Since that girlfriend, he's been much more open. It is a new thing for them, and they probably feel a little bit weird about how to act, and once they get through it a few times I think it gets easier to share!

Anonymous wrote:You all have sons that don’t talk about or bring their girlfriends to your house?

And you are all proud of that?

Um ok

Exactly!! I couldn't imagine not knowing who my kid was dating. That is so weird.

Of course he doesn't tell us everything but we do know who he likes, taking on dates, dating, etc... and we love having his girlfriend over for dinner or to hangout

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, he will not talk about it with you. This is normal behavior for a teen. Back off.

+1 These posts lately are making me nostalgic for my 90s upbringing when parents had no clue what their kids were thinking or doing.

Oh please. I was a teen in the early 90s. And, yes, my parents has zero clue what I was doing or thinking. I do not use that as the bar for good parenting given that they probably should have known more I was doing. a LOT of things that were problematic. I didn't trust them to talk to them.

I don't favor the know every movement or thought of some of todays parents. But there is a middle ground and the trick is finding that.

Same. My parents didn’t have a clue and I definitely did some problematic stuff.

It’s a balance. My HS son does talk about the girl he’s dating, but mostly logistical stuff like where they went out for dinner, etc. No gory details but we do try to stress being respectful and kind. I dated different guys in college and there is a definite difference between guys who are raised being ‘taught’ how to date and those who received no guidance.

Look at all the talk of how Kelce’s mom raised her two boys right whenever you see him treating Taylor Swift correctly. Clearly having a parent to guide your behavior while dating can be helpful.