Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP’s responses are explaining perfectly why this woman wants nothing to do with her. Leave her alone and stop gossiping about her (yes, you are gossiping!)

+1. The "asking around" in the OP means gossiping. And saying, "I don't know" isn't manipulative.

Yes, there are other behaviors that shed light on the manipulation - that, and the responses here are indicating that gaslighting and projection are apparent. Some people do not like to be called on their behaviors, especially bullies who are not very covert.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP’s responses are explaining perfectly why this woman wants nothing to do with her. Leave her alone and stop gossiping about her (yes, you are gossiping!)

Nosy busy body would not be asking innocuous information, it would be personal information, such as "how many people have you had sex with, when and where?" or "tell me about your family issues" or "tell me about your spending habits" or or similar.

Did you really just copy/paste this response? You are a nosy, exhausting gossip. And this repeated response makes you sound manipulative. It is very clear why she limits interactions with you.

Anonymous wrote:The OP’s responses are explaining perfectly why this woman wants nothing to do with her. Leave her alone and stop gossiping about her (yes, you are gossiping!)

+1. The "asking around" in the OP means gossiping. And saying, "I don't know" isn't manipulative.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't like you.

I thought this originally, but then asked around, and this behavior is also shown with others. So no, not just me.

PP again. OMG, just stop!

Well, the situation warrants this person having a baseline ability to interact with other humans. Why so defensive?

Sounds like she doesn’t feel the need to interact with you, at least not on a personal level. Why are you pushing it? Just leave her alone and stop gossiping about her.

No one is gossiping - why would you and that person think so? Is that how you treat people, so you assume that others do also??

Would you answer "I don't know" to a coworker, and refuse to play nice with a coworker that needs work information, that you were hired to transmit? Do you get fired from all of your jobs? Interesting! Why? Are you difficult in the day to day, or do only certain types of people set you off?

If this is you, OP, then you ask too many questions.

6 questions in this 1 response to a poster!

No wonder why the person answers “ I don’t know.” This is exhausting.

Based on this thread with all of these follow-up questions, I’d guess the person finds you & your cohort exhausting. So many questions with no real purpose.

Y’all ask too many questions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP’s responses are explaining perfectly why this woman wants nothing to do with her. Leave her alone and stop gossiping about her (yes, you are gossiping!)

Nosy busy body would not be asking innocuous information, it would be personal information, such as "how many people have you had sex with, when and where?" or "tell me about your family issues" or "tell me about your spending habits" or or similar.

I perceive your questions as prying and don’t want to talk to you. Sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP’s responses are explaining perfectly why this woman wants nothing to do with her. Leave her alone and stop gossiping about her (yes, you are gossiping!)

Nosy busy body would not be asking innocuous information, it would be personal information, such as "how many people have you had sex with, when and where?" or "tell me about your family issues" or "tell me about your spending habits" or or similar.

NP but busy bodies are a lot more subtle than that. They won't start by asking your number of sexual partners, but may ask if you're married or at least have a boyfriend. If married, want to know when you're having children, what neighborhood you live in, what activities kids do, your and husband's career, where you go on vacation. If you're single they might starting asking all the time what you did over the weekend and if you're seeing someone new. And of course these can be all be perfectly legitimate questions too. The busybody uses them to build a sort of profile almost like a data analyst. And then they keep prying into things. They might ask leading questions like "is that food allowed on your diet?" when you haven't confirmed you're on a diet. They come to conclusions about your family life, sex life, and spending habits from all their little questions and conversations and fill in the blanks with their own nonsense. They might start sneering "oh, this time you went out with a new guy? What happened to the last one?"

Again, it's tricky, because these are the same questions normal people ask when making friends. The busybody is judgmental over the choices, though, and fishes for more information that can be used to create drama (or maybe invents it). Kind of like the OP who now has "several others" wondering about this secretive person.

Anyway, as to the original question, if someone is that way I would assume they are used to being judged and scrutinized over every little thing and have learned to give the bare minimum of information, even when it doesn't really matter.

They probably don't want to talk to you.

Anonymous wrote:Are they a little slow and uninterested in small talk? Because this might be my son with Asperger's and low processing speed. He can give you a precise answer to a technical question, but his favorite color? He might not actually know! And it takes him forever to order from the menu: basically he doesn't know until the waitress arrives, we all order, and he has to make a decision at that time.

NP. This is a good insight and makes sense to me. If someone asked me what my favorite song was and I couldn’t think of one on the spot, I would just come up with a choice just to keep the conversation going and avoid awkwardness. I realize that the point is not really which song I choose. But I can see that if you are a literal thinker, then coming up with an answer is difficult if not impossible. Is small talk painful for your son? Not answering seemingly straightforward questions might also be a way for people to exit the pain of small talk

Anonymous wrote:The OP’s responses are explaining perfectly why this woman wants nothing to do with her. Leave her alone and stop gossiping about her (yes, you are gossiping!)

Nosy busy body would not be asking innocuous information, it would be personal information, such as "how many people have you had sex with, when and where?" or "tell me about your family issues" or "tell me about your spending habits" or or similar.

The OP’s responses are explaining perfectly why this woman wants nothing to do with her. Leave her alone and stop gossiping about her (yes, you are gossiping!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't like you.

I thought this originally, but then asked around, and this behavior is also shown with others. So no, not just me.

PP again. OMG, just stop!

Well, the situation warrants this person having a baseline ability to interact with other humans. Why so defensive?

Sounds like she doesn’t feel the need to interact with you, at least not on a personal level. Why are you pushing it? Just leave her alone and stop gossiping about her.

No one is gossiping - why would you and that person think so? Is that how you treat people, so you assume that others do also??

Would you answer "I don't know" to a coworker, and refuse to play nice with a coworker that needs work information, that you were hired to transmit? Do you get fired from all of your jobs? Interesting! Why? Are you difficult in the day to day, or do only certain types of people set you off?

What are you talking about. All of the examples in the OP were not work related. Get your story straight.

So the petulant behavior only applies in certain settings? You can control it at work? Or not?

Of course. This behavior only applies to nosy busybodies.

Nosy busy body would not be asking innocuous information, it would be personal information, such as "how many people have you had sex with, when and where?" or "tell me about your family issues" or "tell me about your spending habits" or or similar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think for this reason, "ice breakers" before meetings where people reveal something personal create problems and should probably be done away with.

Can you explain why icebreakers should be done away with?

Is this a sneaky person thing, an introvert thing, or something else?

I'm not the person who said this, but I agree with him or her, because I hate forced/phony intimacy and I 'm a pretty private person. I don't think anyone is out to get me but I'd rather just get down to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't like you.

I thought this originally, but then asked around, and this behavior is also shown with others. So no, not just me.

PP again. OMG, just stop!

Well, the situation warrants this person having a baseline ability to interact with other humans. Why so defensive?

Sounds like she doesn’t feel the need to interact with you, at least not on a personal level. Why are you pushing it? Just leave her alone and stop gossiping about her.

No one is gossiping - why would you and that person think so? Is that how you treat people, so you assume that others do also??

Would you answer "I don't know" to a coworker, and refuse to play nice with a coworker that needs work information, that you were hired to transmit? Do you get fired from all of your jobs? Interesting! Why? Are you difficult in the day to day, or do only certain types of people set you off?

What are you talking about. All of the examples in the OP were not work related. Get your story straight.

So the petulant behavior only applies in certain settings? You can control it at work? Or not?

Of course. This behavior only applies to nosy busybodies.

Also curious if it is just a case of that person being extremely manipulative (wanting to control the narrative, in addition to other ahem, personality traits):

https://www.wellbeingcenter.co/article.php?How-to-deal-with-sneaky-manipulative-people-368