Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The costs are much more wants than needs.

My middle schoolers play club soccer $8,000 club fees, ~ $2,000 tournaments. They go to sleep-away camp for 4 weeks for $16,000. They both have iPhones so I’m paying for their service. They are still growing, but their taste in clothes are adult sized Lululemon, no more janey and jack target. And they are pretty much adults for other costly aspects like no more kid discounts on food, movies, activities, etc. so those costs pretty much doubles.

So basic fixed costs for our middle schoolers are about $28,000 (camp, soccer, iPhones). Might be our last year of soccer as they both want club volleyball which is also $4,000 per kid before travel costs.

Exactly this. Buying your middle schoolers Lululemon or sending them to a sleepaway camp is a choice. Paying to someone reliable to watch your toddler while you work is usually not a choice.

Also, some of these people with tween/teens posting paid for childcare a long time ago. They have no idea how much it’s gone up, especially post-COVID. I had a gap between #2 and #3 (born in 2022) and the costs have gone up SO much. With my first 2 (born 2014 and 2016) infant care was about $1600/month whereas now centers near me are starting around $2,400/month. It goes down closer to $2,100 for older toddler, but that is still expensive. Also, I went back in Amazon at one post to check old prices and even diapers and formula costs have skyrocketed. So I don’t think asking someone who had their kids circa 2009 to compare their childcare costs to raising teens during inflation is going to be an accurate reflection.

Also keep in mind income goes up. Our HHI has jumped from 150k to over 300k in the past decade and will continue to go up. So it’s easier to absorb costs on our salaries now vs. having kids in our late 20s/early 30s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The costs are much more wants than needs.

My middle schoolers play club soccer $8,000 club fees, ~ $2,000 tournaments. They go to sleep-away camp for 4 weeks for $16,000. They both have iPhones so I’m paying for their service. They are still growing, but their taste in clothes are adult sized Lululemon, no more janey and jack target. And they are pretty much adults for other costly aspects like no more kid discounts on food, movies, activities, etc. so those costs pretty much doubles.

So basic fixed costs for our middle schoolers are about $28,000 (camp, soccer, iPhones). Might be our last year of soccer as they both want club volleyball which is also $4,000 per kid before travel costs.

Also their caviar and truffle oil really adds up. Not to mention the Birkins.

😂😂

You don’t have to spend that much money on an older kid, but if you run in wealthy circles or work a lot, you’ll spend a lot.
Speciality camps can be expensive ($500 - $800 a week), travel sports are expensive, iPhones and AirPods, braces and car insurance are expensive. Tutoring and test prep are very expensive, therapy even more so.

My 15 year old does a rec sport, so we spend maybe $400 a year on that. He isn’t getting braces and we don’t yet have to pay for license related things. He works during the summer.
My 10 year old does martial arts, which is a complete money grab. $2500 down the drain for that every year. But he loves it.
We don’t need camps for either kid anymore.

Anonymous wrote:The costs are much more wants than needs.

My middle schoolers play club soccer $8,000 club fees, ~ $2,000 tournaments. They go to sleep-away camp for 4 weeks for $16,000. They both have iPhones so I’m paying for their service. They are still growing, but their taste in clothes are adult sized Lululemon, no more janey and jack target. And they are pretty much adults for other costly aspects like no more kid discounts on food, movies, activities, etc. so those costs pretty much doubles.

So basic fixed costs for our middle schoolers are about $28,000 (camp, soccer, iPhones). Might be our last year of soccer as they both want club volleyball which is also $4,000 per kid before travel costs.

Also their caviar and truffle oil really adds up. Not to mention the Birkins.

I think there's a wide range. When I had two kids in preschool together, the cost was close to $5k a month. Brutal. Now both are in elementary school. One does four outside activities (swim lessons, karate, piano, religious school) and the other three (swim lessons, dance, religious school) and the monthly cost during the school year is about $2k. So far, far less than before.

Summer camp is incredibly expensive of course, but there is a wide range. We have done the more expensive range, averaging about $5k per kid per summer, so $10k total for 10 weeks of the summer. But that's still the same or comparable to what we paid in preschool during the summer months (preschool was year-round).

We don't do travel sports, or any sport requiring major time and money commitment. Also no tutoring though I suppose that could change at some point.

There will be a breathing space in elementary.
Then it depends on whether their activities ramp up and whether you do expensive summer camps. We do the former, but not the latter.

And then, of course, there's college. My son's university costs 85K a year. His friend's 90K. This is total cost of attendance: tuition, room and board, fees, etc. University of Maryland and University of Virginia are at about 30K right now their respective state residents. They get harder to get in every year. The calculus isn't "Oh, state U is our back-up". It would be more like "Kid must get straight As so he gets into State U".

FYI...

Anonymous wrote:Lowest cost kids are 14-18 when they age out of camps and can get a job. I have so much more disposable income now! Next year is college, then I'll be back to shelling out a lot of money.

Don’t they need a car to have a job? I’m finding 14-18 the most expensive years between all the activities, tutors, test prep and a car.

In addition to private school, which is obviously optional, in the last year, we’ve paid for braces, tutors ($1000/month), travel sports (if I added up all the travel, I bet it would exceed $15k) and purchased a third car for our teenager. We didn’t have to buy a third car, but otherwise, we would have to continue to pay someone to drive them home from school and to their activities. Next year, we’ll be making several trips to tour colleges and will be paying for SAT/ACT prep.

Also, when they’re younger, after school and summer camps work out fine. By the end of elementary school, mine hated after school and complained about summer camps, so we were back to hiring an after school and summer sitters, which put us back at daycare costs.

Lowest cost kids are 14-18 when they age out of camps and can get a job. I have so much more disposable income now! Next year is college, then I'll be back to shelling out a lot of money.

Anonymous wrote:The costs are much more wants than needs.

My middle schoolers play club soccer $8,000 club fees, ~ $2,000 tournaments. They go to sleep-away camp for 4 weeks for $16,000. They both have iPhones so I’m paying for their service. They are still growing, but their taste in clothes are adult sized Lululemon, no more janey and jack target. And they are pretty much adults for other costly aspects like no more kid discounts on food, movies, activities, etc. so those costs pretty much doubles.

So basic fixed costs for our middle schoolers are about $28,000 (camp, soccer, iPhones). Might be our last year of soccer as they both want club volleyball which is also $4,000 per kid before travel costs.

Exactly this. Buying your middle schoolers Lululemon or sending them to a sleepaway camp is a choice. Paying to someone reliable to watch your toddler while you work is usually not a choice.

The problem is you're talking to people with a lot of money to spend.

Day care costs us $18k/year and our older kid, currently in 3rd, costs WAY less. Summer day camps are a couple thousand. Other activities are a couple hundred a month max, often less (DC is happy at rec sports level, and has tried out other activities through the YMCA and school clubs but hasnt found a major passion). I can see it getting more expensive when they're old enough for activities like robotics. When your wants are modest, so are your expenses.

My kid’s used oboe cost us $3000 and we bought a piano for $10,000. Private tennis lessons cost $100/hr. My kids were doing mathnasium for &400/month but now we have a different tutoring service for $100/hr. My kids have expensive hobbies and sports. Do they have to learn to ski and go fishing? Of course not.

My other kid picked up basketball and it seems like a very cheap sport so far. Registration fees are cheap.

The costs are much more wants than needs.

My middle schoolers play club soccer $8,000 club fees, ~ $2,000 tournaments. They go to sleep-away camp for 4 weeks for $16,000. They both have iPhones so I’m paying for their service. They are still growing, but their taste in clothes are adult sized Lululemon, no more janey and jack target. And they are pretty much adults for other costly aspects like no more kid discounts on food, movies, activities, etc. so those costs pretty much doubles.

So basic fixed costs for our middle schoolers are about $28,000 (camp, soccer, iPhones). Might be our last year of soccer as they both want club volleyball which is also $4,000 per kid before travel costs.

Anonymous wrote:The years just starting K are the cheapest. You feel rich after ending daycare/nanny to put them in school. The costs return when the kids get a bit older maybe 9-10 and MS esp.

This! The activities + equipment definitely add up. The clothing/shoes/outerwear costs are ridiculous. Still doesn’t come to as much as daycare though.

Anonymous wrote:8 year old and we did send him to private school for a few years because of covid, but the tuition was less than daycare sk we absorbed it easily. Now he is in public but his extracurriculars are expensive. $3K for travel soccer. $4K for a music hobby. Last year he did I think 7 weeks of summer camp and it was probably $3K total.

But the day to day stuff is more expensive too. Clothes, food, toys/video games, shoes, its all way more expensive than the toddler years.

Now this is true for a middle schooler that keeps growing, but I still don’t think it equals the cost of daycare for us.