Anonymous
10/30/2023 10:29
Subject: I know this is really dumb but…
This is all too much work and intensity for this early in a relationship OP.
It does sound like maybe you could try to have a little more equilibrium in how quickly or strongly you react to any one variable, but don't beat yourself up about this. Be glad you had a reminder of how it feels to be treated well, take a small lesson about how to keep an open mind about future possible deal-breakers, and decide that you probably dodged a bullet of a messy/dramatic entanglement with this guy.
It does sound like maybe you could try to have a little more equilibrium in how quickly or strongly you react to any one variable, but don't beat yourself up about this. Be glad you had a reminder of how it feels to be treated well, take a small lesson about how to keep an open mind about future possible deal-breakers, and decide that you probably dodged a bullet of a messy/dramatic entanglement with this guy.
Anonymous
10/30/2023 10:20
Subject: I know this is really dumb but…
Anonymous wrote:Wow - are you always this uptight, OP? I laughed out loud at your post.
He sounds like a fun guy to me.
PP: Why are you turning this around and blaming OP for having feelings and choices? Look up DARVO and realize you are doing that and commit to being better.
OP: This isn't dumb at all. You have every right to break up with anybody for whatever reason. And this reason sounds to me that you aren't compatible. It's fine. Like you said, honor yourself and your choices. You do not have to "put up" with anything you don't like.
Anonymous
10/30/2023 09:33
Subject: I know this is really dumb but…
Anonymous wrote:I’ve been seeing a guy and we have been texting often as he’s been away this week. I told him I was taking my kids to an amusement park and he told me a story about how he went on an amusement park ride once and let out a “stink bomb.”
Like I said, I know this is dumb but I’m seriously turned off and feel myself unattracted to him now. I replied to his message asking why would he tell me that and saying it’s a serious turn off.
I feel like I don’t even want to see him anymore. Maybe these are my true feelings coming out? I feel bad as he’s a nice person and has been very nice to me but if I’m dating someone I need to feel attracted to him.
(Context: I am middle aged and divorced and have been seeing this guy for a few weeks.)
It's gross. i totally validate you. dump him now.
Anonymous
10/30/2023 08:32
Subject: I know this is really dumb but…
OP again—I had a feeling this guy would turn on me, I had a feeling the nice part was not totally sincere
I just don’t understand why he would be so childish.
And I HATE the silent treatment, to me there are few things worse.
This sucks. Thanks for listening.
I just don’t understand why he would be so childish.
And I HATE the silent treatment, to me there are few things worse.
This sucks. Thanks for listening.
Anonymous
10/29/2023 21:29
Subject: Re:I know this is really dumb but…
Anonymous wrote:I absolutely don't find toilet humor funny. I love all other kinds of humor and watch a lot of standup comedy, but anything involving toilets or asses completely grosses me out. The reality is deep inside every man is a 7th grade boy who wants to giggle any time someone says "it" because they might be talking about sex, so you just have to let them know you don't share their sense of humor in that direction. See if he self-corrects or not. If he does, forget about this one thing, and if he doesn't, then he's not the right guy for you.
I updated the post but later in the thread—I asked and he said it was an actual bomb (stink bomb) that he detonated on a ride decades ago when in his 20s.
Anonymous
10/29/2023 21:22
Subject: Re:I know this is really dumb but…
I absolutely don't find toilet humor funny. I love all other kinds of humor and watch a lot of standup comedy, but anything involving toilets or asses completely grosses me out. The reality is deep inside every man is a 7th grade boy who wants to giggle any time someone says "it" because they might be talking about sex, so you just have to let them know you don't share their sense of humor in that direction. See if he self-corrects or not. If he does, forget about this one thing, and if he doesn't, then he's not the right guy for you.
Anonymous
10/29/2023 21:14
Subject: I know this is really dumb but…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here—I did ask for clarification and explained my feelings.
I couldn’t help that I got the ick when I thought he had recently enjoyed trapping people on a ride with a noxious fart.
I wanted to talk things through. He seemed receptive in one breath and then cut me off.
If he was right for you he would have wanted to make you comfortable with him. He didn't, so it's done. I know it feels crappy. Been there, done that! Move on.
This is such a good point and much appreciated. Thank you PP
Anonymous
10/29/2023 20:33
Subject: I know this is really dumb but…
Anonymous wrote:Op here—I did ask for clarification and explained my feelings.
I couldn’t help that I got the ick when I thought he had recently enjoyed trapping people on a ride with a noxious fart.
I wanted to talk things through. He seemed receptive in one breath and then cut me off.
If he was right for you he would have wanted to make you comfortable with him. He didn't, so it's done. I know it feels crappy. Been there, done that! Move on.
Anonymous
10/29/2023 20:33
Subject: I know this is really dumb but…
Anonymous wrote:Stink bombs (the novelty toy) are for 11 year olds, and delinquent ones at that.
For a TWENTY year old to use one in a public setting (rather then perhaps a prank on an old buddy) is crude and speaks volumes.
That a 40 year old would ever admit, let alone brag about acting this way in his 20s means you dodged a huge bullet.
Curious has this guy ever been married?
Yes was in a long term marriage, said they broke up because they didn’t get along/ lots of arguments. Guy’s in his 50s actually.
Anonymous
10/29/2023 20:32
Subject: Re:I know this is really dumb but…
Anonymous wrote:Did a 12 year old write this thread? Good grief this was SO DUMB and such a waste of time to read.
Why did you read it then? The title itself warned you.
Anonymous
10/29/2023 20:30
Subject: I know this is really dumb but…
Stink bombs (the novelty toy) are for 11 year olds, and delinquent ones at that.
For a TWENTY year old to use one in a public setting (rather then perhaps a prank on an old buddy) is crude and speaks volumes.
That a 40 year old would ever admit, let alone brag about acting this way in his 20s means you dodged a huge bullet.
Curious has this guy ever been married?
For a TWENTY year old to use one in a public setting (rather then perhaps a prank on an old buddy) is crude and speaks volumes.
That a 40 year old would ever admit, let alone brag about acting this way in his 20s means you dodged a huge bullet.
Curious has this guy ever been married?
Anonymous
10/29/2023 20:28
Subject: Re:I know this is really dumb but…
Did a 12 year old write this thread? Good grief this was SO DUMB and such a waste of time to read.
Anonymous
10/29/2023 20:28
Subject: I know this is really dumb but…
Anonymous wrote:OP here—well it doesn’t matter now I guess because the guy decided to cut off contact with me.
In one breath he said how much he cared about me, how we have something special, he’s willing to go above and beyond for me…then he said it had become a difficult decision for me so he would make it easier by making it impossible to text or call.
I’m baffled and it feels really bad too. I know he has major self-esteem and I suspect abandonment issues but I was trying to be fair and rational.
Meh. Good riddance. You'll find something better.
Anonymous
10/29/2023 20:26
Subject: I know this is really dumb but…
I guess so. I went through a very ugly divorce after a difficult marriage. I’m new to dating again. In the past I’ve been a magnet for users and abusive men. This man was nice and nice to me which was very different.
Anonymous
10/29/2023 20:18
Subject: Re:I know this is really dumb but…
You’re divorced so presumably you’ve been exposed to ugly behavior; people have warts. Any guy you meet has done something as bad as that stink bomb — your guy was just not as good at hiding his warts. And then he realized that it would be exhausting to have to discuss it, and that there would be more exhausting discussions.