Anonymous wrote:If your husband works for a big firm, they probably have a contract with one of the companies (like LifeCare) that researches care options for elderly parents. It’s not a bad idea to have them do a report for you now of the options available near your in-laws that you can turn to in a crisis - I did this (every few years) until a crisis, at which point I had a list of places to call.

Never heard of this - what is the cost? What did you think of their work?

Given that your husband has more money than time, a likely scenario is that he hires a geriatric care manager where his parents live to handle a lot of stuff, and pays for things as they come up (like packing the house so it can be sold, evaluating different assisted living facilities, arranging for durable medical equipment, etc.). It would also be useful for your husband to understand if he has access to an Employee Assistance Program through his job and what help it might be able to provide. Beyond that, you can't force people to plan. You can only control you.

The worst case scenario ( as many mentioned here) is a major health crisis which then leaves everyone clueless and confused on how to move forward. It may lead to long term care or just rehab. Worst case scenario they dont have enough money to cover things and its a huge stress on the whole family.

Anonymous wrote:
You have to voice repeatedly to your husband:

"I will NOT help your parents when they need assistance, and I refuse to spend OUR money on their care if they're not planning for their future."

This right here. Only I was the one telling my parents/sister that I refuse to spend OUR money on their care. And when the crap did hit the fan and we LENT some money until the house sold, my sister was whining that paying us back would take HER inheritance.

Anonymous wrote:Even though he is in big law, he may need to end up taking weeks or months off of work to go there are work things out in a crisis situation. You should talk to your husband about what that would look like.

Why? You can pay people to handle that.

If your husband works for a big firm, they probably have a contract with one of the companies (like LifeCare) that researches care options for elderly parents. It’s not a bad idea to have them do a report for you now of the options available near your in-laws that you can turn to in a crisis - I did this (every few years) until a crisis, at which point I had a list of places to call.

Even though he is in big law, he may need to end up taking weeks or months off of work to go there are work things out in a crisis situation. You should talk to your husband about what that would look like.