Anonymous wrote:When I read about her, I thought 'big deal, everyone has to do that'. But then i gave it more thought and realized she's right. It does suck. We all just accepted that working meant commute, long hours, essentially 'donating' work to the company when we worked extra and didn't get paid extra, getting home at 6 or 7 and then jamming the rest of our lives into 4 to 6 hours at the end of the day. That allows mostly for maintenance (washing clothes, cooking, shopping, paying bills, bathing, hair cuts, doctor/dentist appointments, car maintenance, cleaning house, etc.). Oh, you want kids? Well, double up on the chores plus attending to your child.

Why did I -- or anyone -- think that was an OK way to live?

And I agree with her and thought, "this is how change happens." We shouldn't live this way.

And so who is going to pay for you to live a "better" way?

Anonymous wrote:This is a bit unfair - her main complaint is being unable to afford living closer to her job. Housing unaffordablity is a big deal.

? ok, but many of us still have the same issue, and we have kids. We don't post about it on tiktok. So ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a bit unfair - her main complaint is being unable to afford living closer to her job. Housing unaffordablity is a big deal.

Do we know where she lives, where she works and how much she makes? I can’t comment without knowing those details. But I watched about 5 seconds of that video with the sound turned down, and I can’t believe we’re giving this person more and more attention.

She works in New York and commutes in from outside the city.

So, like millions of people who have come before her. And continue to do so, on purpose.

In the past, young office workers in NY could afford shared apartments and live in the city. They only moved to the suburbs when they got married and had families. Now they can’t afford to live in the city, and instead live in their childhood bedrooms and spend an hour or more commuting in. I’ve done it. It’s soul-sucking and I would have been beyond miserable if I had to do it as a twenty-something.

How long in the past was this magical affordable Manhattan? I was commuting an hour on a standing-room-only bus 25 years ago to get back to my shared apartment. Yes it sucked, but we barely had cell phones then let alone noise-cancelling headphones. I remember thinking my commute life has changed forever when I got a skip-proof discman to listen to on my ride!

I lived in Manhattan from 2010-2012 and paid no more than $1k/month to live in doorman buildings in Fidi. Granted, they were 1-beds that were subdivided into 4 rooms, but it was safe, walkable to work, and left me plenty of money on my entry level salary of $45k (+OT).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I read about her, I thought 'big deal, everyone has to do that'. But then i gave it more thought and realized she's right. It does suck. We all just accepted that working meant commute, long hours, essentially 'donating' work to the company when we worked extra and didn't get paid extra, getting home at 6 or 7 and then jamming the rest of our lives into 4 to 6 hours at the end of the day. That allows mostly for maintenance (washing clothes, cooking, shopping, paying bills, bathing, hair cuts, doctor/dentist appointments, car maintenance, cleaning house, etc.). Oh, you want kids? Well, double up on the chores plus attending to your child.

Why did I -- or anyone -- think that was an OK way to live?

And I agree with her and thought, "this is how change happens." We shouldn't live this way.

The really funny and ironic part of this is that women in particular did NOT “have to live like this” until very recently. Society had kind of worked out a division of labor system such that young people partnered up in marriage at a fairly young age upon entering adulthood (typically 20-23) and the men did the 9-5 grind and the women took care of household matters so that money was earned and household chores were done during that same daytime stretch. And then evenings and weekends were for relaxing and enjoying the home/family you built together.
And then about 50 years ago, the feminist movement argued that women should “have the right” to live in these conditions that are being complained about here…just like the men! And then slowly the option for women to do so turned into a mandate that every person should work outside the home.
And homes got bigger and prices for those homes required dual income.
And now that some women are figuring out that this was a ridiculous “deal” to buy into, it’s too late bc the dual income is essential to maintaining the desired standard of living.
Sad really.

Not quite. Women flooded the labor supply without unionizing, cratering wages for both men and women.
Homes are far more expensive now than in the past.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I read about her, I thought 'big deal, everyone has to do that'. But then i gave it more thought and realized she's right. It does suck. We all just accepted that working meant commute, long hours, essentially 'donating' work to the company when we worked extra and didn't get paid extra, getting home at 6 or 7 and then jamming the rest of our lives into 4 to 6 hours at the end of the day. That allows mostly for maintenance (washing clothes, cooking, shopping, paying bills, bathing, hair cuts, doctor/dentist appointments, car maintenance, cleaning house, etc.). Oh, you want kids? Well, double up on the chores plus attending to your child.

Why did I -- or anyone -- think that was an OK way to live?

And I agree with her and thought, "this is how change happens." We shouldn't live this way.

The really funny and ironic part of this is that women in particular did NOT “have to live like this” until very recently. Society had kind of worked out a division of labor system such that young people partnered up in marriage at a fairly young age upon entering adulthood (typically 20-23) and the men did the 9-5 grind and the women took care of household matters so that money was earned and household chores were done during that same daytime stretch. And then evenings and weekends were for relaxing and enjoying the home/family you built together.
And then about 50 years ago, the feminist movement argued that women should “have the right” to live in these conditions that are being complained about here…just like the men! And then slowly the option for women to do so turned into a mandate that every person should work outside the home.
And homes got bigger and prices for those homes required dual income.
And now that some women are figuring out that this was a ridiculous “deal” to buy into, it’s too late bc the dual income is essential to maintaining the desired standard of living.
Sad really.

That divide only worked because we suppressed minorities into lower paying roles which essentially subsidized all white peoples life style.

And women who never married or had abusife husbands, just F them right?

I come from a culture where this is still accepted and admired (Pakistani) and what happens in case of widowhood or divorce- poverty and struggle. Also so much pressure these days on one wage earner causes so many early heart attacks and stress related illnesses. I'm not going to lie- I live this life-style as do many of the women I know but I do think that women need to be able to have some money of their own- from a business or from working to support the family in case of a change of circumstances. The vast majority of people I know who are in this lifestyle seem very content but they are also married to very high earning men most of the time and God forbid if anything happens to that provider, its really hard for the kids since their moms are mostly unable to know how to take care of the family or really struggle. Having paid parental leave and good childcare and flexible schedules, wfh and other supports in place to help plus addressing a housing crisis which has created these horrible commutes is a step toward less exploitation of the workforce, the arc of justice should move forward and it seems that it has moved back a LOT since the middle of the last century and forcing women out of the workforce is not it.

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable. A young woman in her first job out of college is complaining that having to commute to a 9-5 job, she has to leave by 7:30am and doesn't get home to 6:15 and then doesn't even have the energy to make dinner. She laments that she doesn't have time for friends or "her life".

She should be glad that she only has an office job and not a laborer or factory job and that thanks to the way paved by labor unions in the past, that employers can only have a 40 hour work week without paying overtime (to non-salaried workers). Gen Z is so amazingly entitled.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/viral-tiktok-college-graduate-9-to-5-job-b2435504.html

Yes, and the way things changed is because workers pushed back. Employers who adjust their ways and value their employees attract the workers and cause other employers to match that to keep up. Kudos to this generation for asking for better. Yes, some are way off base with their demands and expectations but in the end they won’t be the ones rising. It’s a balance and many of us stuck in the old way need to see where we’ve sometimes been used and run over by the employment machine and these kids are point the way toward change.

For my first job in 1996, I commuted by car an hour and 15 min each way because I lived with my parents to save $, and worked an 8:30-5:30 job. I remember being exhausted when I got home at night, but that’s just how it was and I remember being grateful my parents didn’t charge me for rent or food so I could save some money those few years. I then was able to move into a shared apartment with friends and advanced to a better job; however, I worked longer hours in that job so my day, start to finish, was the same length. I am not an “I walked both ways uphill” kind of person, but I do think you need to expect to prove yourself and work hard. Spouse and I both comment that we in our senior roles work longer hours than most twenty-somethings at our respective companies, and they act shocked and often put out if we ask them to stay to do something.

Anonymous wrote:She’s right and OP is terrible.

This. OP just wants to drag everyone down in the muck with her. Bad look.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a bit unfair - her main complaint is being unable to afford living closer to her job. Housing unaffordablity is a big deal.

Do we know where she lives, where she works and how much she makes? I can’t comment without knowing those details. But I watched about 5 seconds of that video with the sound turned down, and I can’t believe we’re giving this person more and more attention.

She works in New York and commutes in from outside the city.

So, like millions of people who have come before her. And continue to do so, on purpose.

In the past, young office workers in NY could afford shared apartments and live in the city. They only moved to the suburbs when they got married and had families. Now they can’t afford to live in the city, and instead live in their childhood bedrooms and spend an hour or more commuting in. I’ve done it. It’s soul-sucking and I would have been beyond miserable if I had to do it as a twenty-something.

How long in the past was this magical affordable Manhattan? I was commuting an hour on a standing-room-only bus 25 years ago to get back to my shared apartment. Yes it sucked, but we barely had cell phones then let alone noise-cancelling headphones. I remember thinking my commute life has changed forever when I got a skip-proof discman to listen to on my ride!

My parents (for example): both lived and worked in downtown Manhattan in the early eighties. It’s become much more expensive, but a lot nicer from what I understand

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I read about her, I thought 'big deal, everyone has to do that'. But then i gave it more thought and realized she's right. It does suck. We all just accepted that working meant commute, long hours, essentially 'donating' work to the company when we worked extra and didn't get paid extra, getting home at 6 or 7 and then jamming the rest of our lives into 4 to 6 hours at the end of the day. That allows mostly for maintenance (washing clothes, cooking, shopping, paying bills, bathing, hair cuts, doctor/dentist appointments, car maintenance, cleaning house, etc.). Oh, you want kids? Well, double up on the chores plus attending to your child.

Why did I -- or anyone -- think that was an OK way to live?

And I agree with her and thought, "this is how change happens." We shouldn't live this way.

The really funny and ironic part of this is that women in particular did NOT “have to live like this” until very recently. Society had kind of worked out a division of labor system such that young people partnered up in marriage at a fairly young age upon entering adulthood (typically 20-23) and the men did the 9-5 grind and the women took care of household matters so that money was earned and household chores were done during that same daytime stretch. And then evenings and weekends were for relaxing and enjoying the home/family you built together.
And then about 50 years ago, the feminist movement argued that women should “have the right” to live in these conditions that are being complained about here…just like the men! And then slowly the option for women to do so turned into a mandate that every person should work outside the home.
And homes got bigger and prices for those homes required dual income.
And now that some women are figuring out that this was a ridiculous “deal” to buy into, it’s too late bc the dual income is essential to maintaining the desired standard of living.
Sad really.

That divide only worked because we suppressed minorities into lower paying roles which essentially subsidized all white peoples life style.

And women who never married or had abusife husbands, just F them right?

I’m with Brielle on this one

Good for her! I like this gal. Hope she gets some good karma from this.

Anonymous wrote:I'm Gen X and I complain about the same thing.

Me too. It's been like that for me my whole working life. She has a point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a bit unfair - her main complaint is being unable to afford living closer to her job. Housing unaffordablity is a big deal.

Do we know where she lives, where she works and how much she makes? I can’t comment without knowing those details. But I watched about 5 seconds of that video with the sound turned down, and I can’t believe we’re giving this person more and more attention.

She works in New York and commutes in from outside the city.

So, like millions of people who have come before her. And continue to do so, on purpose.

In the past, young office workers in NY could afford shared apartments and live in the city. They only moved to the suburbs when they got married and had families. Now they can’t afford to live in the city, and instead live in their childhood bedrooms and spend an hour or more commuting in. I’ve done it. It’s soul-sucking and I would have been beyond miserable if I had to do it as a twenty-something.

How long in the past was this magical affordable Manhattan? I was commuting an hour on a standing-room-only bus 25 years ago to get back to my shared apartment. Yes it sucked, but we barely had cell phones then let alone noise-cancelling headphones. I remember thinking my commute life has changed forever when I got a skip-proof discman to listen to on my ride!

Anonymous wrote:When I read about her, I thought 'big deal, everyone has to do that'. But then i gave it more thought and realized she's right. It does suck. We all just accepted that working meant commute, long hours, essentially 'donating' work to the company when we worked extra and didn't get paid extra, getting home at 6 or 7 and then jamming the rest of our lives into 4 to 6 hours at the end of the day. That allows mostly for maintenance (washing clothes, cooking, shopping, paying bills, bathing, hair cuts, doctor/dentist appointments, car maintenance, cleaning house, etc.). Oh, you want kids? Well, double up on the chores plus attending to your child.

Why did I -- or anyone -- think that was an OK way to live?

And I agree with her and thought, "this is how change happens." We shouldn't live this way.

The really funny and ironic part of this is that women in particular did NOT “have to live like this” until very recently. Society had kind of worked out a division of labor system such that young people partnered up in marriage at a fairly young age upon entering adulthood (typically 20-23) and the men did the 9-5 grind and the women took care of household matters so that money was earned and household chores were done during that same daytime stretch. And then evenings and weekends were for relaxing and enjoying the home/family you built together.
And then about 50 years ago, the feminist movement argued that women should “have the right” to live in these conditions that are being complained about here…just like the men! And then slowly the option for women to do so turned into a mandate that every person should work outside the home.
And homes got bigger and prices for those homes required dual income.
And now that some women are figuring out that this was a ridiculous “deal” to buy into, it’s too late bc the dual income is essential to maintaining the desired standard of living.
Sad really.