Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:59     Subject: Re:Chill applications thread


Anonymous wrote:


You, the teacher, knows who is stressing out and who isn't, in the privacy of their own home? If you're so immature that you don't understand that anxiety is not necessary visible to you, the teacher, then I doubt you have enough understanding of human nature to BE a teacher.

School selectivity doesn't matter, since students are at different levels and someone's safety can be someone else's reach. 99% of families find college admissions stressful, regardless of where their kids apply.

Seriously. What abysmal stupidity.


You are welcome to deny my reality all you want. I actually have a college-bound senior who isn’t stressing. I also help ALL my students with their essays, so college comes up frequently. It comes up in parent conferences. This is my reality, and it is reality for many other families.

For some reason this threatens you, and I’m not sure why. This threatens you so much that you have to fight back with multiple personal attacks. I’m not sure I understand why you need everybody to feel the pressure you do.

I hope you survive the college process. It seems to be taking a lot out of you.

PP You say you are a teacher at a competitive school. Are you a parent to ALL the 17-year-olds in your school applying to college? As has been mentioned, and I assume you know, there is a vast difference between what you see at school and what goes on at home. Many kids and parents are stressed about money, selectivity and fit. This does not mean they are doing something wrong.

I do find the OP very smug and the premise of the thread "Let's all the cool chill parents with self-sufficient kids come hang out on this thread and congratulate ourselves" to be gross.

So yes I'm coming to your high five party to say I think being totally uninvolved is irresponsible, or perhaps only possible if you have unlimited money and privilege.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:57     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:I do think you sound a bit smug.


Ok thanks!
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:55     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:I welcome anyone who has let their kids fill out their own applications, have NOT hired a counsellor or coach, and are letting this be their kids journey, not theirs.

Please come on in and share your stories!

Here’s mine - DD refused to let us look at her essays and supplementals - not even just to proofread. Wasn’t about to fight with her on that. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and I’m sure she will end up exactly where she belongs!


I salute you! You are a breath of fresh air!

Our kid went to one of those Big 3 schools that everybody hates. While we did meet the college counselor, my kid was on his own to find what he wanted for college and was on his own to fill out applications.. It's his journey, not ours!
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:51     Subject: Chill applications thread

I do think you sound a bit smug.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:40     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
We went through college admissions last year.
No one I know, NO ONE, was chill about it.

In this day and age, chill does not exist for the families who are aware of what all this entails. Sure, your kid can only apply to safeties, go test-optional, chatGPT their essays. Perhaps the family doesn't fill out financial aid forms. But the kid still need to request letters of recs, transcripts, they still need apply by the deadline, and the Common App has questions few 17 year olds know how to answer about their parents' education... unless they guesstimate that too.

So the only ones who are chill are the ones who are half-assing it.

That IS a legit strategy if you're happy with where they end up, and money is no object, or if they're applying to community college.

But usually parents are a little more demanding, given that college is a lot of money for most households.



Hate to break your bubble, but there ARE “chill” students. I teach at a DMV private full of high-achieving students. There are definitely students agonizing over supplementals for the 15-17 schools they are applying to. There are an equal number of students, many also high-achieving, who have set very realistic goals for themselves and aren’t stressing.

I’ve been at this a long time. Both groups are going to get into college. Perhaps the stressing group will end up at an Ivy, but most in the other group don’t actually want top 20 schools. And that’s okay.

We should be happy that they are all content with their paths in the end.


You, the teacher, knows who is stressing out and who isn't, in the privacy of their own home? If you're so immature that you don't understand that anxiety is not necessary visible to you, the teacher, then I doubt you have enough understanding of human nature to BE a teacher.

School selectivity doesn't matter, since students are at different levels and someone's safety can be someone else's reach. 99% of families find college admissions stressful, regardless of where their kids apply.

Seriously. What abysmal stupidity.


You are welcome to deny my reality all you want. I actually have a college-bound senior who isn’t stressing. I also help ALL my students with their essays, so college comes up frequently. It comes up in parent conferences. This is my reality, and it is reality for many other families.

For some reason this threatens you, and I’m not sure why. This threatens you so much that you have to fight back with multiple personal attacks. I’m not sure I understand why you need everybody to feel the pressure you do.

I hope you survive the college process. It seems to be taking a lot out of you.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:40     Subject: Chill applications thread

I didn't read DD's essays, or have anything to do with the app process. She is at a great school, having the time of her life, studying abroad this year in two different countries, and her tuition was 100% covered.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:39     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
We went through college admissions last year.
No one I know, NO ONE, was chill about it.

In this day and age, chill does not exist for the families who are aware of what all this entails. Sure, your kid can only apply to safeties, go test-optional, chatGPT their essays. Perhaps the family doesn't fill out financial aid forms. But the kid still need to request letters of recs, transcripts, they still need apply by the deadline, and the Common App has questions few 17 year olds know how to answer about their parents' education... unless they guesstimate that too.

So the only ones who are chill are the ones who are half-assing it.

That IS a legit strategy if you're happy with where they end up, and money is no object, or if they're applying to community college.

But usually parents are a little more demanding, given that college is a lot of money for most households.



Hate to break your bubble, but there ARE “chill” students. I teach at a DMV private full of high-achieving students. There are definitely students agonizing over supplementals for the 15-17 schools they are applying to. There are an equal number of students, many also high-achieving, who have set very realistic goals for themselves and aren’t stressing.

I’ve been at this a long time. Both groups are going to get into college. Perhaps the stressing group will end up at an Ivy, but most in the other group don’t actually want top 20 schools. And that’s okay.

We should be happy that they are all content with their paths in the end.


You, the teacher, knows who is stressing out and who isn't, in the privacy of their own home? If you're so immature that you don't understand that anxiety is not necessary visible to you, the teacher, then I doubt you have enough understanding of human nature to BE a teacher.

School selectivity doesn't matter, since students are at different levels and someone's safety can be someone else's reach. 99% of families find college admissions stressful, regardless of where their kids apply.

Seriously. What abysmal stupidity.


You’re really ruining the chill vibe here. Go find a thread with other wound up parents. This one clearly isn’t for you.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:37     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:
We went through college admissions last year.
No one I know, NO ONE, was chill about it.

In this day and age, chill does not exist for the families who are aware of what all this entails. Sure, your kid can only apply to safeties, go test-optional, chatGPT their essays. Perhaps the family doesn't fill out financial aid forms. But the kid still need to request letters of recs, transcripts, they still need apply by the deadline, and the Common App has questions few 17 year olds know how to answer about their parents' education... unless they guesstimate that too.

So the only ones who are chill are the ones who are half-assing it.

That IS a legit strategy if you're happy with where they end up, and money is no object, or if they're applying to community college.

But usually parents are a little more demanding, given that college is a lot of money for most households.



I know you need to believe this to justify your involvement in the process, so I’m going to let you continue to think it’s true. Godspeed!
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:35     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
We went through college admissions last year.
No one I know, NO ONE, was chill about it.

In this day and age, chill does not exist for the families who are aware of what all this entails. Sure, your kid can only apply to safeties, go test-optional, chatGPT their essays. Perhaps the family doesn't fill out financial aid forms. But the kid still need to request letters of recs, transcripts, they still need apply by the deadline, and the Common App has questions few 17 year olds know how to answer about their parents' education... unless they guesstimate that too.

So the only ones who are chill are the ones who are half-assing it.

That IS a legit strategy if you're happy with where they end up, and money is no object, or if they're applying to community college.

But usually parents are a little more demanding, given that college is a lot of money for most households.



Hate to break your bubble, but there ARE “chill” students. I teach at a DMV private full of high-achieving students. There are definitely students agonizing over supplementals for the 15-17 schools they are applying to. There are an equal number of students, many also high-achieving, who have set very realistic goals for themselves and aren’t stressing.

I’ve been at this a long time. Both groups are going to get into college. Perhaps the stressing group will end up at an Ivy, but most in the other group don’t actually want top 20 schools. And that’s okay.

We should be happy that they are all content with their paths in the end.


You, the teacher, knows who is stressing out and who isn't, in the privacy of their own home? If you're so immature that you don't understand that anxiety is not necessary visible to you, the teacher, then I doubt you have enough understanding of human nature to BE a teacher.

School selectivity doesn't matter, since students are at different levels and someone's safety can be someone else's reach. 99% of families find college admissions stressful, regardless of where their kids apply.

Seriously. What abysmal stupidity.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:31     Subject: Re:Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:OK i'm crashing your thread- sorry. I just find your tone really self-satisfied and know-it-all.
I know kids last year who crashed and burned with your "mellow out" strategy. NOt all family can afford to be "chill." Not all kids have their act together by senior year. Some kids have ADHD or learning differences and need support through the process. This process can be overwhelming for neurotypical kids as well. The applications are complex and it's the first time kids have done this. I am not advocating a hostile takeover of the process but being a helpful sounding board is reasonable. Also it's the biggest investment I'll make as an adult so, yeah, if looking over an essay for typo's helps my kid get merit aid- I'm down for that.


Sounds like this thread isn’t for you!
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:28     Subject: Chill applications thread

Just want to commend the parents in this thread! You and your kids are setting a good example for others. Thank you for modeling that another approach is possible—and fruitful.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:26     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:We didn’t see our son’s essay. His HS teacher and guidance counselor had all that input. Truthfully it made me a little off not seeing it, like I wasn’t part of the process. I helped him with the Fafsa and we need have several college conversations and visited colleges. Hes in first semester college and very happy so far. And it’s not a college I would have seen him attending; sometimes as parents we end up being surprised.


Was this a private high school? Our school offers zero help other than sending required documents. The parents often know more than most of the counselors about admissions.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:23     Subject: Chill applications thread

I did absolutely nothing for either of my kids applications except pay fees. One got a free ride at a good public and nearly a full ride to a great law school right after. One is at a top 10 public. Both seem happy with their choices.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:23     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:
We went through college admissions last year.
No one I know, NO ONE, was chill about it.

In this day and age, chill does not exist for the families who are aware of what all this entails. Sure, your kid can only apply to safeties, go test-optional, chatGPT their essays. Perhaps the family doesn't fill out financial aid forms. But the kid still need to request letters of recs, transcripts, they still need apply by the deadline, and the Common App has questions few 17 year olds know how to answer about their parents' education... unless they guesstimate that too.

So the only ones who are chill are the ones who are half-assing it.

That IS a legit strategy if you're happy with where they end up, and money is no object, or if they're applying to community college.

But usually parents are a little more demanding, given that college is a lot of money for most households.



Hate to break your bubble, but there ARE “chill” students. I teach at a DMV private full of high-achieving students. There are definitely students agonizing over supplementals for the 15-17 schools they are applying to. There are an equal number of students, many also high-achieving, who have set very realistic goals for themselves and aren’t stressing.

I’ve been at this a long time. Both groups are going to get into college. Perhaps the stressing group will end up at an Ivy, but most in the other group don’t actually want top 20 schools. And that’s okay.

We should be happy that they are all content with their paths in the end.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2023 20:08     Subject: Chill applications thread

Anonymous wrote:I welcome anyone who has let their kids fill out their own applications, have NOT hired a counsellor or coach, and are letting this be their kids journey, not theirs.

Please come on in and share your stories!

Here’s mine - DD refused to let us look at her essays and supplementals - not even just to proofread. Wasn’t about to fight with her on that. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and I’m sure she will end up exactly where she belongs!


I’m here with you. I check in periodically to remind him to read directions carefully and ask how it’s going. He likes to talk through his ideas at the dinner table, but beyond that he’s handled it all himself. Asked two teachers to read, incorporated their feedback, and has his plan in hand. I won’t say I’m completely chill, but definitely not stressed.