Anonymous wrote:Talk to your husband, he may be ok with you exploring with women.

My sister and her husband have a good relationship and she dates women on the side. I'm bi myself, and I tell men before we even meet that I would want to date women on the side. Most are cool with it.

If only it were that easy for us bi males who are married to a woman.

Talk to your husband, he may be ok with you exploring with women.

My sister and her husband have a good relationship and she dates women on the side. I'm bi myself, and I tell men before we even meet that I would want to date women on the side. Most are cool with it.

OP here! So much has happened/not happened! LOL! We would text a lot and send each other very subtle flirty messages. Then in May she stopped and never responded to a text I sent about getting together, so I figured she just wasn't interested. I moved on and although I felt a little sad, I decided it was all for the best. Then all of a sudden, she started contacting me again in July and we ended up going to a sporting event together. We had SOO MUCH FUN! It was very casual, but I definitely felt a spark between us. We started texting again and she kept saying we should get together for drinks so I finally just asked her if she wanted to go to HH this past Friday and we did. Again, very casual, fun! I could tell she was trying to ask me if I was a lesbian without asking .... I finally told her that I have had the biggest crush on her, and if I wasn't married, I'd be all over her! We've texted a few times since but nothing more.... I am trying to keep my distance, and try to distract myself from thinking about her too much, but I have to admit, this is so tough! She is so F**ING HOT!! I feel very confused about my feelings to be honest....

Anonymous wrote:OP here! So much has happened since my last post! Just an FYI- I wasn’t being creepy at work as someone suggested! Haha! We didn’t see each other or speak for about a month. During that month, I definitely felt sad, but reflected on why I was feeling the way I was and what I liked about her and just tried to focus on my marriage. I was starting to get over her, and we ran into each other and we started talking again a few weeks ago. It’s so much less awkward now! We text regularly now, but I feel less chemistry... definitely more friendship vibes. Don’t get me wrong, if she ever made a move, I don’t think I would not turn her down, but I’m trying to take the previous posters approach avoid blowing up my life, because it is a good life. If I were ever single again, I definitely think I would date women, but for now at least we are friends!

So how is it going now?

Anonymous wrote:OP here - good question! Initially I could NOT even imagine having sex with her! Recently I’ve fantasized about her making out with me (I imagine it being so soft and sensual), and when it comes to sex, my fantasizes are about her doing things to me (so selfish, I know! 😂)... I still can’t envision myself doing sexual things to her! That makes me uncomfortable, but honestly I think I’d be open to it with her! But again, this is all in my head because I hope I never cross that line. I’m happily married to a really good guy and great dad... I’d never want to jeopardize that! But gosh... I wish I were single for one night to just go crazy with her!!!

lady, we have it tpough enough. don't feel guilty for your fantasy (and i don't mean the lesbian part)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you know “you’ll never act on this”?

Why shouldn’t you? Don’t you owe it to yourself to explore who you are, rather than live a lie or stay in denial?

You don’t need to tell your H or kids anything. You wise them an explanation. This is about you. Find out who you are.

Um, maybe her wedding vows?

It’s not the 1950’s anymore. Maybe she could invite her husband to join?

Good for you, OP.

OP here! So much has happened since my last post! Just an FYI- I wasn’t being creepy at work as someone suggested! Haha! We didn’t see each other or speak for about a month. During that month, I definitely felt sad, but reflected on why I was feeling the way I was and what I liked about her and just tried to focus on my marriage. I was starting to get over her, and we ran into each other and we started talking again a few weeks ago. It’s so much less awkward now! We text regularly now, but I feel less chemistry... definitely more friendship vibes. Don’t get me wrong, if she ever made a move, I don’t think I would not turn her down, but I’m trying to take the previous posters approach avoid blowing up my life, because it is a good life. If I were ever single again, I definitely think I would date women, but for now at least we are friends!

I posted the exact same thing a few months ago. Actually I thought this was my post. Haha!

People generally said that I was likely attracted to the attention and female energy…it’s a thrill more than my stagnant marriage.

Anonymous wrote:Yup, same here going through exactly this now. It’s confusing and amazing.

NP. Same here...except I am single and questioning. Unfortunately, I can't even potentially talk to my crush about it, since she is avoiding me at all costs now.

Ah so the OP has been introduced to Brandi carlile

Hi OP I just went through this last year and it really threw me for a loop. I realized I liked women and I spent a ton of time What Does This Mean etc etc.

It took me a while to come to my own conclusion which is—if I dated now I’d date men and women. I am not prone to crushes but they could happen with men and women.

Now in regards to my actual life, does it matter? Do I want to be with anyone except my specific husband? No. So the rest of it, the bi/lesbian part can sort of integrate with out being that relevant. I compare it to this—if I dated, I’d have a list of things that attracted me. One of them could be gender. One could be a shared love of sailing. Neither really matter bc I don’t want to date, I checked in with myself and perfect life as it is.

That all said, being 39 and realizing I’m queer/bi whatever threw me for a major loop. But you can feel that way and not be one of those late in life lesbians her blow up her life and marries a woman… unless that’s your thing! But there’s also a really fair choice of being out late and ALSO looks around and actually likes their life with a guy and so it’s fine and you just carry-on and have more self knowledge. That story is not as fun to tell, but I think very relevant.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you know “you’ll never act on this”?

Why shouldn’t you? Don’t you owe it to yourself to explore who you are, rather than live a lie or stay in denial?

You don’t need to tell your H or kids anything. You wise them an explanation. This is about you. Find out who you are.

Um, maybe her wedding vows?

Why do you know “you’ll never act on this”?

Why shouldn’t you? Don’t you owe it to yourself to explore who you are, rather than live a lie or stay in denial?

You don’t need to tell your H or kids anything. You wise them an explanation. This is about you. Find out who you are.

Ew