Anonymous
Post 10/26/2023 19:42     Subject: ADD signs in girls
A lot of this sounds like my 12 year old. No diagnosis or therapy yet. Her executive function is fine (she is in 7th grade and manages her own schoolwork and she can clean her room alone) but sometimes needs my help chunking a big school project into smaller pieces. Our main issue is she can be VERY sensitive. But it does seem to be oh-so-slowly getting better. Our older DD is super chill so it’s hard to know what’s “typical.”
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2023 18:56     Subject: Re:ADD signs in girls
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:NP here, I am following this thread with interest. My question is: if a kid is functioning fine, is there value in seeking a diagnosis?

DD10 has a lot of sensory stuff that is kind of on the edge of normal - sensitivity to noise, which she's largely outgrown; chewing and sensitivity to fabrics, which she hasn't. An excellent student, but anxious about breaking rules and annoyed by other people breaking rules. Lots of friends and social confidence.
So some things are quirky but nothing is "wrong." Her dad has pretty obvious undiagnosed ADD, and I have anxiety.

I've read that girls don't get diagnosed because they compensate. But if she's compensating (if she even is) in non-harmful ways ... does it need to be explored?


I think so. My daughter is fine right now at 10. She's anxious and can have issues with emotional regulation, but overall she's performing great academically, behavior is fine, and she has good friends. But how long is that going to last? How long until the demands at school overtake her ability to compensate? Changing classes? Remembering assignments? I don't see this happening without some issues. I'd rather get ahead of the game instead of waiting for her to fail before we get some tools to help her.


Totally agree with this post. Same here. I didn't have sensitivity to noise for example and fabrics but i was a chewer too and bored easily and daydreamy. i could have a test where i feel blank and start to want to count how many teeth dents i had put chewing on my pencil or how many Os there are in the question just because I wanted to do it before I start writing down my answers. Is it pure ADD/ADHD diagnosis. Maybe not. Quirky, maybe yes. But if I had known the diagnosis, that would have probably made so much more sense to me. I compensated too by processing even more quickly and I overcame I think but how much more of my potential would I have had if I knew.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2023 17:00     Subject: ADD signs in girls
Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the PPs from further up the thread, my kids are still younger (1st & 4th), I've heard that things get much tougher once they hit middle school (hormones, much larger school etc), so you may want to consider a diagnosis now so that she'll have the ability to have an IEP or 504 and medication if you need it later on.

It also helps to normalize it for them - my kids understand that the medicine helps them focus on schoolwork and manage impulses, etc.

As an undiagnosed until adult woman - I've struggled a lot with imposter syndrome and feeling inferior because I knew I was intelligent but school and early career did not reflect my abilities at all. I'm so glad that I caught my kids' ADHD when they were young and it hadn't started to impact their self-esteem too much. One has dyslexia in addition to ADHD and thought they just weren't very smart. Once we talked through the fact that their brain sees things differently and has to be retrained - and they're really great at math and taking advanced math, they now realize that we all have strengths and weaknesses and we have to support both sides.


Different PP here and I agree- you don’t have to medicate or do anything with the diagnosis. It’s good to have ready. My experience has been that it just takes one teacher who is a really bad fit for things to spiral out of control quickly and I wish we had had the diagnosis ready when that happened.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2023 13:27     Subject: ADD signs in girls
I'm one of the PPs from further up the thread, my kids are still younger (1st & 4th), I've heard that things get much tougher once they hit middle school (hormones, much larger school etc), so you may want to consider a diagnosis now so that she'll have the ability to have an IEP or 504 and medication if you need it later on.

It also helps to normalize it for them - my kids understand that the medicine helps them focus on schoolwork and manage impulses, etc.

As an undiagnosed until adult woman - I've struggled a lot with imposter syndrome and feeling inferior because I knew I was intelligent but school and early career did not reflect my abilities at all. I'm so glad that I caught my kids' ADHD when they were young and it hadn't started to impact their self-esteem too much. One has dyslexia in addition to ADHD and thought they just weren't very smart. Once we talked through the fact that their brain sees things differently and has to be retrained - and they're really great at math and taking advanced math, they now realize that we all have strengths and weaknesses and we have to support both sides.
Anonymous
Post 10/25/2023 20:13     Subject: Re:ADD signs in girls
Anonymous wrote:NP here, I am following this thread with interest. My question is: if a kid is functioning fine, is there value in seeking a diagnosis?

DD10 has a lot of sensory stuff that is kind of on the edge of normal - sensitivity to noise, which she's largely outgrown; chewing and sensitivity to fabrics, which she hasn't. An excellent student, but anxious about breaking rules and annoyed by other people breaking rules. Lots of friends and social confidence.
So some things are quirky but nothing is "wrong." Her dad has pretty obvious undiagnosed ADD, and I have anxiety.

I've read that girls don't get diagnosed because they compensate. But if she's compensating (if she even is) in non-harmful ways ... does it need to be explored?


I think so. My daughter is fine right now at 10. She's anxious and can have issues with emotional regulation, but overall she's performing great academically, behavior is fine, and she has good friends. But how long is that going to last? How long until the demands at school overtake her ability to compensate? Changing classes? Remembering assignments? I don't see this happening without some issues. I'd rather get ahead of the game instead of waiting for her to fail before we get some tools to help her.
Anonymous
Post 10/25/2023 20:01     Subject: ADD signs in girls
Anonymous wrote:


I do not have ADHD and I laser focus. To the point where I won't hear you talk. I don't have ADHD for sure.

I'm also a perfectionist and can be very rigid in my approaches.

I am a huge procrastinator! Y kids would prob say I can't really focus until I have to I can however prioritize and organize and multi task like a machine. I just choose my moments. I never did well in school as I was bored and I run my own business now. I'm 100% sure I do not have ADHD but my son does.

Sometimes a kid is just a kid. It's really hard to know for sure. Get it checked out but know that ADHD often entails more than inability to focus.


NP. Your son has ADHD but you are 100% sure that you don’t have it despite having all the symptoms above? Okay. How long did it take to accept your son’s diagnosis because “I do that too and it’s completely normal”?


So you:
-hyper focus
-procrastinate
-are rigid
-perfectionist tendencies
-have a child with ADHD (a condition that has a strong genetic component)

... but you are "100% sure" you don't have ADHD? Okay.
Anonymous
Post 10/25/2023 14:30     Subject: ADD signs in girls
Watch some videos frm Dr. Barkley

The condition is poorly named - the issue isn't really about attention.

Dr. Barkley has lots of youtube videos that go over what it really is and isn't.
Anonymous
Post 10/25/2023 14:27     Subject: Re:ADD signs in girls
NP here, I am following this thread with interest. My question is: if a kid is functioning fine, is there value in seeking a diagnosis?

DD10 has a lot of sensory stuff that is kind of on the edge of normal - sensitivity to noise, which she's largely outgrown; chewing and sensitivity to fabrics, which she hasn't. An excellent student, but anxious about breaking rules and annoyed by other people breaking rules. Lots of friends and social confidence.
So some things are quirky but nothing is "wrong." Her dad has pretty obvious undiagnosed ADD, and I have anxiety.

I've read that girls don't get diagnosed because they compensate. But if she's compensating (if she even is) in non-harmful ways ... does it need to be explored?
Anonymous
Post 10/25/2023 13:34     Subject: ADD signs in girls
Anonymous wrote:So all the ADHD folks here - how is your executive functioning? Can you organize and prioritize without help? How is your working memory - are you easily overwhelmed and if so does it impact your ability to balance more tasks?

Because my 11 kid sounds like OP kid but she can organize the shit out of her school work. My ADHD diagnosed kid cannot.

There's 2 types of ADHD including hyperactive and attention deficit. But typically having ADHD includes a 60% of some other type of disability whether OCD, dyslexia, anxiety, etc.

I run into a lot of adults saying they have undiagnosed ADHD. My kid who has it, OMG there's no way he could function being undiagnosed - he's never make it. So I'm curious what other traits besides hard to focus is the trigger people suggest means ADHD?


how is your executive functioning? That's a really general question, but not great.

Can you organize and prioritize without help? This is very inconsistent. Sometimes I hyperfocus on organizing my to-do list or something like that and while I end up spending more time on it than I should, I do end up coming out with a good list of priorities (not that I always execute it well.) Other times I get overwhelmed just thinking about my to-do list and either avoid it entirely or pick a lower-priority item that appeals to me at the moment and just do that.

How is your working memory Not great.

- are you easily overwhelmed and if so does it impact your ability to balance more tasks? Yes.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 09:08     Subject: ADD signs in girls
I would get an evaluation. Your kid sounds like me in school and growing up. I didn't get an ADHD (combined type) diagnosis until I was 49.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2023 22:25     Subject: ADD signs in girls
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds so so much like my 8 year old DD with ADHD! Especially the singing and interrupting. I think if you are wondering enough to post on DCUM you should just get her evaluated. Ask your pediatrician for names but get a real evaluation- pediatricians tend to not recognize ADHD in girls who are doing ok academically. We had that experience and my DD is a textbook, severe case.


Me again- one thing that tripped me up until I learned more about ADHD is that my DD is capable of really remarkable attention/focus/work when she is interested in something. She will sit and read a good book for hours. But apparently that’s common- it’s actually called hyperfocus and when kids enjoy school or parts of school they are able to focus really well on those. Or other activities! If you saw my DD watching the instruction at her studio you would not believe she has ADHD because she’s laser focused. Anyway I just throw that out there because it was confusing for me for a while


Op here… this sounds just like her. If she’s into it, she’s all in. If she’s not, it nearly impossible to get her to focus.

Who diagnosed your daughter? Was the solution meds? If so, which one?


Hi OP - I am the PP you are replying to and I didn’t mean to start a whole discussion on what exactly is or isn’t hyperfocus. I was just explaining something that I previously didn’t understand and delayed me in getting my child diagnosed a little bit. My kid definitely has ADHD and was diagnosed at KKI by a developmental pediatrician at an early age. She had a full work up in part because of some other things going on with her and her profound giftedness. At your DD age a developmental pediatrician might not be right and you might not need a full neuropsych. Ask your pediatrician where they recommend you start for an evaluation.

My DD can’t handle stimulants and is only on non-stimulant medication but it does help (although I think she could benefit from stimulants if she could manage them, but it is ok). Also she has some accommodations through a 504 that are relatively easy to implement but make a big difference to her (especially extra movement breaks). Also just tons and tons of exercise. It makes a big difference. I am committed to helping her learn how to function in the world independently but understanding her has helped me have a better approach; we try to work on one thing at a time and I try to involve her in setting up systems that work for her. Also she sees a therapist for comorbid anxiety and that helps. We talk a ton about being flexible and that is really improving as she gets older. The Unstuck and On Target curriculum was developed for ASD but the principles related to rigidity really apply my kid so I have read that and work on using that kind of thinking with her.

Good luck!


OP here. It's interesting you mention this too, because I've always joked about how much exercise DD requires. She dances a crazy amount each week (by her choice!) and is very rarely tired from it. We had a 10 hour long dance convention (with only 1 hour break for lunch) and she was absolutely not fazed. Wanted more when it was done, actually. But then on the flip side, she can veg for hours in front of the TV just like everyone else. For the most part though, she seems to thrive being busy and active. Some parents judge us for how busy she is, but it really does seem to work the best for her.


PP you are responding to and that’s my daughter too - loves structured activities and dance/gymnastics/climbing type things. Hates to run though! The limiting factor for us is trying to balance how much I drag her younger siblings around driving to things. She would absolutely do more. Just keep in mind she is not practicing those mental flexibility skills during this highly structured preferred activity time. It’s good to ensure she practices coming up with things to do and compromising with siblings and peers regularly. It’s a balance for sure
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2023 00:17     Subject: ADD signs in girls
Let’s say….