Anonymous wrote:The summer before my senior year in high school my family moved from CT - where I attended a progressive public school to Dallas - where I attended a private girls school (think saddle shoes, not kidding).

I was really close to my parents and siblings so I never thought to say I didn't want to go. I loved my high school, did well academically and socially. I assumed that would happen in Dallas.

It didn't.

It was the worst year of my life -- and it began a life long eating disorder. Mid year, I asked if I could go back -- live with a family friend and my parents said no. That soon I would be away at college and they didn't want to let go of me any earlier. As a mom of two -- I get that answer. But it was so hard to hear.

Much later in life both of my (now) deceased parents - apologized to me. That both said I should have stayed behind. It helped me a lot that they saw the pain I was in -- and how that lingered in my life.

I certainly don't know your soon to be senior and maybe it will be a positive for them

Good luck

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that there's a good answer here, but I'm looking for people's thoughts.

We're likely moving for DH's job the summer before DD's senior year. Odds are she won't find a spot in a private school like she's in now, so she would be switching to public. We know the switch would be rough to begin with, but we're really unsure what colleges would think of this, or if she'd even be allowed to take the AP classes she needs for applications.

We've also considered staying put until she graduates. If we stay behind a year and let DH move alone, there are some pretty drastic residency and tax implications. I hate putting money ahead of DD's college future, but it's definitely a consideration for us.

Thoughts?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If savings on OP not paying state tax on her income are anywhere close to enough to pay private school tuition then it seems like OP is making a decent salary.

She says private school is 12K.

Regardless, I'm astounded at the lack of preparation and consideration shown to the kid in this situation. Decent parents who really have to go where the job sends them are prepared for this eventuality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father refused all offers and pressure to move during my high school years. I did not, and would not, consider moving during my children's high school years. Continuity between 11th and 12th grade is very important, to minimize stress, running after different transcripts, and to ensure all letters of recommendations can be received by colleges/universities before the early action Nov 1st deadline. Typically letters are requested of 11th grade teachers, written at the end of that year, or the summer.

Colleges know that families move, that's not the problem. The College Board doesn't care where she's registered to take her AP exams. Our public school system starts enrolling existing students in next year's courses in January, and sometimes students can't get their preferred courses because they're full. If she can't get into the AP classes she wants, what is the plan? Some of them can be self-studied, others not at all.

I think you're just piling on unnecessary stress on this poor kid. You should have planned better. You can also think about hiring a private college counselor to help you deal with all the moving parts, but their slots for juniors and seniors are minimal (they prefer working with 9th graders).

This is what all decent parents would do, if they aren’t dirt poor or in a national security job or something (if the President comes calling…). Otherwise, nope, that’s an awful way to end your child’s childhood and the last year you’ll have with them. Assuming of course, as a PP said, your child hates their current school and wants to move.

So a decent parent would ignore military orders? He can't retire yet.

Pretty sure military orders count as national security. Did OP say they were military? If so, it’s not in the original post.

Anonymous wrote:If savings on OP not paying state tax on her income are anywhere close to enough to pay private school tuition then it seems like OP is making a decent salary.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father refused all offers and pressure to move during my high school years. I did not, and would not, consider moving during my children's high school years. Continuity between 11th and 12th grade is very important, to minimize stress, running after different transcripts, and to ensure all letters of recommendations can be received by colleges/universities before the early action Nov 1st deadline. Typically letters are requested of 11th grade teachers, written at the end of that year, or the summer.

Colleges know that families move, that's not the problem. The College Board doesn't care where she's registered to take her AP exams. Our public school system starts enrolling existing students in next year's courses in January, and sometimes students can't get their preferred courses because they're full. If she can't get into the AP classes she wants, what is the plan? Some of them can be self-studied, others not at all.

I think you're just piling on unnecessary stress on this poor kid. You should have planned better. You can also think about hiring a private college counselor to help you deal with all the moving parts, but their slots for juniors and seniors are minimal (they prefer working with 9th graders).

This is what all decent parents would do, if they aren’t dirt poor or in a national security job or something (if the President comes calling…). Otherwise, nope, that’s an awful way to end your child’s childhood and the last year you’ll have with them. Assuming of course, as a PP said, your child hates their current school and wants to move.

So a decent parent would ignore military orders? He can't retire yet.

Anonymous wrote:What if we financially can't handle private if he moves alone? It was a stretch now, which I didn't want to mention, because I know that's not acceptable in DCUM-land.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad took a new job across the country when my brother was going into his senior year (i was in 8th grade). He commuted for a year to allow my brother to graduate (I think he did 3 weeks new place, 1 week old place). He worked at a medical school and this was before WFH so he had very understanding bosses.

Is that an option? Otherwise the suggestion of having your daughter stay with someone for a year could work... I know someone that did that too (military family).

For military, it's standard for the father to live in the bachelors quarters for a year and the family to join them after graduation when this happens.