Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She does community college and applies again for the sophomore year.

She's a straight-A student. We're not looking for Ivy League, but I'd be pissed if it came to this, to put it mildly.

If you’d be pissed, then you should — or should have — encouraged her to apply to a larger number or a wider range of schools, or both.

LITERALLY what OP is asking, Snarky McSnarkerson.

Anonymous wrote:If it were my kid, I'd say, "humor me ... I need this. I need for you to apply to a few more schools. Pick 3 from this list." I would, already, have a list. At this point, schools that you think might be a good fit. And you know you can afford. Downplay you went to much effort. But on the contrary, I think it is imperative to have taken this chore seriously.

You're not saying they have to go. I do think it's ok to recognize that this whole process is stressful to parents. And lessening our stress is a reasonable ask. As parents, we each have thresholds so we feel like good-enough parents. For many of us, one of those is, that the student gets into college.

Why, so many commas?

There are TONS of schools that accept applications in late spring, into the summer, and all the way up to until school starts. Not top colleges, but many of the schools on the list aren't no-names either. My daughter got a bit of cold feet last year with the two acceptances she had, so we investigated other options, and there were many that she would have been OK with as a good student. (She ended up going to one of the schools to which she originally applied, FWIW).

Community college is of course an option for kids in that situation, but it doesn't have to be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She does community college and applies again for the sophomore year.

She's a straight-A student. We're not looking for Ivy League, but I'd be pissed if it came to this, to put it mildly.

How about an EA or rolling school where she can get an answer before RD deadlines? That way, if she gets rejected, it will be a wake-up call with time left for her to remedy with a few more apps.

I think it depends on your relationship with your kid, but I insisted my kid add a couple of schools to their list. One was an in-state target, which I thought was a good alternative to the in-state flagship I knew they might not get in to, and one was a safety, which initially they had on their list but then application fatigue started to take over. They were balking at the "Why X" essay. I offered to sit down with them and talked them through how they could quickly reword one of their other "Why X" essays. It ended up being a super generic essay, but they got in.

Also, there was one target/safety school they wanted to take off their list, but then we agreed they would apply and skip the "optional" essay. I honestly thought they wouldn't get in when they did that, but they did.

Anonymous wrote:If it were my kid, I'd say, "humor me ... I need this. I need for you to apply to a few more schools. Pick 3 from this list." I would, already, have a list. At this point, schools that you think might be a good fit. And you know you can afford. Downplay you went to much effort. But on the contrary, I think it is imperative to have taken this chore seriously.

You're not saying they have to go. I do think it's ok to recognize that this whole process is stressful to parents. And lessening our stress is a reasonable ask. As parents, we each have thresholds so we feel like good-enough parents. For many of us, one of those is, that the student gets into college.

I think "humor me" is exactly how I'll approach it, thanks.

Yeah - you need some more options just in case. If she’s a straight A student there are a lot of very solid schools that would be safeties for her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She does community college and applies again for the sophomore year.

She's a straight-A student. We're not looking for Ivy League, but I'd be pissed if it came to this, to put it mildly.

I didn’t get into UC Berkeley initially so went to community college and transferred. It’s honestly not a big deal and I saved a ton of money. She will be ok “if it came to this”.

I did the same for UMD. It’s nice not having student loans (and no, we were not well-off).

If it were my kid, I'd say, "humor me ... I need this. I need for you to apply to a few more schools. Pick 3 from this list." I would, already, have a list. At this point, schools that you think might be a good fit. And you know you can afford. Downplay you went to much effort. But on the contrary, I think it is imperative to have taken this chore seriously.

You're not saying they have to go. I do think it's ok to recognize that this whole process is stressful to parents. And lessening our stress is a reasonable ask. As parents, we each have thresholds so we feel like good-enough parents. For many of us, one of those is, that the student gets into college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She does community college and applies again for the sophomore year.

She's a straight-A student. We're not looking for Ivy League, but I'd be pissed if it came to this, to put it mildly.

Then you shouldn’t have applied to only ONE safety. Shrug.

All I wanted was for my child to have choices. One safety, at the end of application season, is giving her a choice. Have her apply to a few more schools. In April, you can revisit the accepted schools and then decide.

We actually know one kid this happened to in 2022. Applied too high. It was a mess. Now at their state flagship but took a gap year. Not advised.

They could also look at colleges that have late deadlines. If EA doesn't bring good news, there is still time to apply to schools with Feb/March deadlines
https://www.joinleland.com/library/a/colleges-with-late-application-deadlines

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She does community college and applies again for the sophomore year.

She's a straight-A student. We're not looking for Ivy League, but I'd be pissed if it came to this, to put it mildly.

Then find a true safety.

Anonymous wrote:I know, this is partly just the anxiety of the whole process. But DD has only applied to one safety which is honestly more like a lower target, in my opinion. Do I insist she apply for a few more places with a 90%+ acceptance rate? Let the natural consequences happen? I don't want to harp, and I'm pretty amenable to the schools she has chosen, just think she needs a better backup.

I was worried about this with one of my kids (also a straight-A student), and I said, "I'm only going to say this once, but please think about it: Admissions are unpredictable, so even though I think any college would be stupid to turn you down, you need to think about which places seem better to you than spending a year at home. And you should apply to a couple that meet your technical requirements, even if they don't give you that magical buzzy feeling X and Y do."

Then you have to let it go, either way.