Assuming valid story (which is not confirmed), this is not a hard question. Some lessons are much more important than lacrosse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you share a bit more detail about exactly what was said? how do you know if this was racism or just trash talking among teammates that happened to involve players of different races?

First of all no DMV lacrosse parent would ever describe the club as "competitive" but not on a national level. Also, they are a bunch of "teens" who "may" want to play in college but not her DS. Any lacrosse parent would at least give the context of it is a 2028 team a 2029 team, could not be a 2024 team as they would be finishing this fall. 2025's are mostly completed this summer. The parent in this situation would also not just be "asking for advice on what to do" The husband would not approach a coach and have that coach shrug it off. Most of the local coaches dont speak with parents at all ever.

exactly. A real lacrosse parent could smell this a mile away. can you say Jussie Smollet?

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you share a bit more detail about exactly what was said? how do you know if this was racism or just trash talking among teammates that happened to involve players of different races?

First of all no DMV lacrosse parent would ever describe the club as "competitive" but not on a national level. Also, they are a bunch of "teens" who "may" want to play in college but not her DS. Any lacrosse parent would at least give the context of it is a 2028 team a 2029 team, could not be a 2024 team as they would be finishing this fall. 2025's are mostly completed this summer. The parent in this situation would also not just be "asking for advice on what to do" The husband would not approach a coach and have that coach shrug it off. Most of the local coaches dont speak with parents at all ever.

FYI there is more than one person questioning the validity of the story, not because this is not an important issue or could not happen it is just the OP did not present this correctly. It just does not make sense. ALso, with all of the slander some true some not, why not name the club?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easy on generalizing about south. I have met more racist from the Boston area than I ever came across in school down in South Georgia.

And I have the exact opposite experience. The deep southerners just hide their racism behind syrupy faux-politeness.

Aren’t meaningless anecdotes grand?

LOL, whatever.

OP, can you share a bit more detail about exactly what was said? how do you know if this was racism or just trash talking among teammates that happened to involve players of different races?

Anonymous wrote:Someone apparently forwarded the messages to the non-white players' parents because the family messaged us and a few other families letting us know they were pulling their player off the team and due to racial harassment. ?

There is a player having problems. Let's call him "Unhappy Player." The only people claiming racial harassment are Unhappy Player's parents. Maybe it's racially based, or maybe the other players are annoyed for non-racist reasons. We don't know. In my private school world, folks love to scream "racism!" at every opportunity, and the stories don't often add up. For instance, nooses are hoaxes far more often than not.

So assuming OP is telling the truth, and I doubt it due to the lack of specifics, OP is ripping OP's child away from a team based off an allegation alone. In my experience, especially on these teams, and especially in the DC area, very few kids are racist. The lack of racism causes some folks, usually women, to look for racism in every nook and cranny.

You have to ask what's more likely: Players suddenly became racist are an suburban mom saw the racism boogeyman?

OP, the parents commenting accusing you of making it up are the same kinds of parents who would stay on the team. Most people are jerks and will accept racism when it is not directed at them. It is sad and you should know that your DS is on the right path by showing you the messages. He knew it was wrong. If you showed screenshots to the coach and to these parents, and they are still denying that anything was wrong, you've done what you can do and those people have shown you what kind of people they are.

Leave the team. Find a new team, or just have your DS play on his high school team. Are any of those players at school with your DS, or will he be able to escape them? What about the boy who was being mistreated?

Anonymous wrote:Report the coach to the state governing authority. He should not be allowed around kids.

+1

Don’t delete those texts either!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Report the coach and the players involved. That is the only decent thing to do.

First, this whole story seems bunk or misleading because it may be omitting key details.

Second, for what would the coach be reported? Failure to patrol group text messages to the satisfaction of some woke parents?

+1
The best proof that this story is fake is the fact that OP needed to broadcast it to DCUM under the guise of seeking “advice.” If it were real she would have simply pulled her kid from the team, especially since the supposed team is not that good and the DS is not even serious about lacrosse. No need to crowd source. I call BS.

Anonymous wrote:Report the coach and the players involved. That is the only decent thing to do.

First, this whole story seems bunk or misleading because it may be omitting key details.

Second, for what would the coach be reported? Failure to patrol group text messages to the satisfaction of some woke parents?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does DS, DH, and DD mean?

Dear Son, Dear Husband, Dear Daughter

Is there a reason for this type of notation? It appears to be commonly used on the lacrosse forums.

It's used on basically every forum on the internet, lacrosse or not. Who knows why, but it's been that way since the dawn of the internet.

Really. I have been around since the dawn of the internet and this is the only place I have ever seen it. Strange

It’s not unique to DCUM at all. Reddit, other parenting sites, FB groups, anyplace where relationships are discussed all use it.

—someone worse who has been around since the dawn of the internet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does DS, DH, and DD mean?

Dear Son, Dear Husband, Dear Daughter

Is there a reason for this type of notation? It appears to be commonly used on the lacrosse forums.

It's used on basically every forum on the internet, lacrosse or not. Who knows why, but it's been that way since the dawn of the internet.

Really. I have been around since the dawn of the internet and this is the only place I have ever seen it. Strange

NP. You haven't been on message boards/forums then. This is not at all a DCUM specific thing. It's used on basically message board/forum that I have ever frequented.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does DS, DH, and DD mean?

Dear Son, Dear Husband, Dear Daughter

Is there a reason for this type of notation? It appears to be commonly used on the lacrosse forums.

It's used on basically every forum on the internet, lacrosse or not. Who knows why, but it's been that way since the dawn of the internet.

Really. I have been around since the dawn of the internet and this is the only place I have ever seen it. Strange

“Last week DS found out that some of teammates were harassing one of the other players who is not white. They were talking about it in a chat that DS was on and DS showed them to us. It was really bad.”

I would tell DC about the decision the other parents made to pull their son, and ask him for my son’s thoughts. Clearly, he knows it was bad. I would also have him reach out to the other boy and check in on him. I would want DC to see how much pain the other child and family is in. If DC feels uncomfortable I would reach out myself. I’d want to know what the other family has decided to do. Are they joining a different club? If so, I would look into moving my player there with his former teammate. If you’re in the DC area, check out next level lacrosse for high quality physical and character training. One of their coaches is a middle school teacher at Deal. He is superb. If you explain why you’re looking to change teams mid-season, they may have great advice.

If you find a good solution, such as an alternate team, I would also see if there are other players interested in leaving. Some won’t, because clearly they’re not bothered by racism, but some will, and you’ll become closer to the small group of people who care about people’s feelings.