Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 16:04     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
Have more than 1 grandchild, and it's hard to keep track. Who asked for what. How often. What's fair. What looks fair.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 15:11     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t like these fundraisers. Ditto for nieces and nephews hitting us up to support their sports, bands and scout activities. My income is similar to their parent’s income, so I find it ridiculous to be sending checks to them while supporting my own kids activities. I guess my kids could hit up their aunts and uncles, then checks would be passing each other…just seems like a waste.

FYI, it’s not because I’m not charitable. If a niece or nephew had a financial hardship, I would surely help, just as I’m happy to support numerous charities for THOSE IN NEED.


But this is about supporting the school, not just the child. Presumably there are kids in need, at every school, who benefit from the generosity of other families. This is just like all those other charities, for people in need, you claim to support. Do you not agree that supporting education is one of the most important things?


Supporting education is fine, but these "fundraisers" sell useless crap and the school gets a tiny amount after the fundraising company takes it's cut. If I wanted to support the school I would just write a check directly. But that would also be tacky to ask for. It's tacky to ask your relatives for money.


OP says it's a raffle. For donated items. They aren't selling crap.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 15:01     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t like these fundraisers. Ditto for nieces and nephews hitting us up to support their sports, bands and scout activities. My income is similar to their parent’s income, so I find it ridiculous to be sending checks to them while supporting my own kids activities. I guess my kids could hit up their aunts and uncles, then checks would be passing each other…just seems like a waste.

FYI, it’s not because I’m not charitable. If a niece or nephew had a financial hardship, I would surely help, just as I’m happy to support numerous charities for THOSE IN NEED.


But this is about supporting the school, not just the child. Presumably there are kids in need, at every school, who benefit from the generosity of other families. This is just like all those other charities, for people in need, you claim to support. Do you not agree that supporting education is one of the most important things?


Supporting education is fine, but these "fundraisers" sell useless crap and the school gets a tiny amount after the fundraising company takes it's cut. If I wanted to support the school I would just write a check directly. But that would also be tacky to ask for. It's tacky to ask your relatives for money.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 15:00     Subject: Re:Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate random fundraisers. When our kids have to do them, we just donate/purchase the expected amount ourselves. We don’t ask family or friends

Sometimes I’ll donate if others ask, but usually do not, if I know the kid’s own parents can afford to cover it.

You may not like the answer- but there you go.


Same. No, I don't want to sell stupid pies or pizzas or wrapping paper or chocolate to my relatives.


With these fundraisers, just cut out the middle man and write a check to the school or PTA so that the Boosterthon companies don't take 50% of the proceeds. But a school raffle with donated items means the school gets all of the donations. I'd gladly participate in a fundraiser like this and not for chocolate, pizza, or fruit.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 14:57     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t like these fundraisers. Ditto for nieces and nephews hitting us up to support their sports, bands and scout activities. My income is similar to their parent’s income, so I find it ridiculous to be sending checks to them while supporting my own kids activities. I guess my kids could hit up their aunts and uncles, then checks would be passing each other…just seems like a waste.

FYI, it’s not because I’m not charitable. If a niece or nephew had a financial hardship, I would surely help, just as I’m happy to support numerous charities for THOSE IN NEED.


But this is about supporting the school, not just the child. Presumably there are kids in need, at every school, who benefit from the generosity of other families. This is just like all those other charities, for people in need, you claim to support. Do you not agree that supporting education is one of the most important things?
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 14:45     Subject: Re:Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
Anonymous wrote:I hate random fundraisers. When our kids have to do them, we just donate/purchase the expected amount ourselves. We don’t ask family or friends

Sometimes I’ll donate if others ask, but usually do not, if I know the kid’s own parents can afford to cover it.

You may not like the answer- but there you go.


Same. No, I don't want to sell stupid pies or pizzas or wrapping paper or chocolate to my relatives.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 14:41     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
I don’t like these fundraisers. Ditto for nieces and nephews hitting us up to support their sports, bands and scout activities. My income is similar to their parent’s income, so I find it ridiculous to be sending checks to them while supporting my own kids activities. I guess my kids could hit up their aunts and uncles, then checks would be passing each other…just seems like a waste.

FYI, it’s not because I’m not charitable. If a niece or nephew had a financial hardship, I would surely help, just as I’m happy to support numerous charities for THOSE IN NEED.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 14:31     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
I don’t think OP expected so many negative responses lol. I think she assumed that since she was talking about in laws DCUM would happily bash away.

This is good to see.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 14:26     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
DH to his family - could forward the email (which of course) should be written by the student, not you.

However, I think they are making this easy. They don't wish to have this as a focus. Done. Be done with it. Be done wishing for this.

It'll always be something. It will be Girl Scouts or another charity event. Always something. They also my not like *the way* in which money is collected. This may be specific or they generally don't want to have as a worry re: the method of payment.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 13:28     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
Anonymous wrote:Because they have been asked to "support" so much crap in their decades on earth and they're over it. Including supporting all the PTA crap for your DH. Leave your ILs alone.


This. School fundraisers are tacky and annoying. Just leave them alone and stop taking it so personally.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 11:55     Subject: Re:Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
It's because their purchase is a reflection of their love for your kids. They just don't love them that much.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 11:39     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
OP never came back...
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 11:20     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
My millionaire parents would never contribute to this sort of thing, but my working class MIL would. She’s a lovely generous person who always wants our DCs to know she cares about their endeavors.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 11:16     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
Anonymous wrote:I’d never ask my family or my husband’s family to buy those raffle tickets.


Me neither. I probably would not prohibit my kids from asking themselves, but I certainly wouldn’t encourage it.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2023 10:33     Subject: Why doesn’t DH’s family support DD’s fundraiser?
Anonymous wrote:My DD is in 2nd grade and her school has an annual raffle fundraiser. People donate amazing prizes, but tickets are only $5 each and the 5 kids that sell the most tickets won a prices, as does the class that sells the most.

Every year I send an email and text to my extended family and DH’s which includes his parents, two aunts and uncles and his sister. And every year my parents and siblings each spend at least $50 buying tickets.

However, no one in DH’s family has ever bought an single ticket and I can’t understand why. They are all very financially secure so why not support their granddaughter? I made DH ask them the second year and they said they would do it but then never did.

Is this odd that not a single person in his family is willing to contribute just $5?


We would be highly annoyed to get this email. If asked again would simply say no. Do the GP go to the event where the raffle happens?

2nd grade? DH parents, 2 aunts -uncles plus sib are likely wondering if buying anythng would set a precedent for the next 10-15 years. And what happens with the ineveitable wrapping paper, junk sale?