Anonymous
10/06/2023 07:28
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
Anonymous wrote:These threads always surprise me, though they really shouldn’t anymore.
I honestly do not understand how people like this actually cope in life.
I know, right? It is astounding that there are still rude people out there who impose on family by saying they are dropping by to do one thing, then parking it on the couch and imposing on tired parents with a new baby. I don’t understand how they haven’t learned manners by now.
Anonymous
10/06/2023 07:25
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:They’ve been here for almost an hour now. I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. They didn’t tell us they were visiting. I’m really annoyed.
Grow up.
Found the rude, pushy in-law.
DP here, and I'm not a pushy in-law of anyone yet. But seriously, why can't she just say, Hello! Great to see you. I'm exhausted and am going to grab something to eat then crash, but so happy you're getting to catch up with DH. They might then leave! As is, it is clear you don't want to see them, which is insulting and the fact it they are your DH's parents.
So, yes, grow up.
Another DP here. I agree. In OP's shoes, I would put in a robe, go down and greet them. Announce that I am about to eat and ask them if they would like something to eat or drink? (This is just good manners, they would probably turn the offer down). I would then eat, drink, hang out if I wanted to, and then bid them goodnight and go up with the baby. It is absolutely ok to tell them that you are going to lie down with the baby.
I fail to understand why this is a big deal? Your ILs are like your parents and they are the parents of your spouse. Why do they need to stand on ceremony and be formal with you? They are not insisting that you greet them wearing formal clothes and serve them. Why are you so upset?
DH can offer them something to eat or drink.
Anonymous
10/06/2023 04:40
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
The OP posted at 4:30 PM already in her pajamas, exhausted from work, etc. Did the in laws expect dinner, an overnight stay or did they simply drop in to say hello? Your spouse’s parents dropping by shouldn’t result in all this drama.
Anonymous
10/05/2023 23:05
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
You are totally ok to hide. Ppl who say you're being rude just don't get it for one reason or another (no kids, non-judgmental/nondemanding in-laws,.easy babies...a variety of life circumstances could have left them never experiencing the extent of "done" that you may be experiencing now). You can tell DH to apologize later that you were lying down if you feel really bad.
Anonymous
10/05/2023 22:57
Subject: Re:I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
Totally fine to let the husband pass the message to ILs that you are done for the day and are resting. And totally fine for your DH to bring you a cup of tea and a sandwich to your room.
Either people want more protocol (they expect hostess to greet and host — in which case they wait for an invitation or confirm the visit with the hosts) OR they consider themselves so close they do not want any protocol (they do not confirm the visit and should not expect hostess to be available to greet and host).
Either people want more protocol (they expect hostess to greet and host — in which case they wait for an invitation or confirm the visit with the hosts) OR they consider themselves so close they do not want any protocol (they do not confirm the visit and should not expect hostess to be available to greet and host).
Anonymous
10/05/2023 22:43
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
OP I totally feel you. I would be so annoyed and uncomfortable in that situation.
Anonymous
10/05/2023 22:41
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
Anonymous wrote:You don't have to be "on". Can't you go about your business as usual, as in preparing dinner, tending to the baby? Act normal and show no fear.
This is what I would do. If they're expecting to be entertained, well, your husband can do that.
Anonymous
10/05/2023 22:36
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
Anonymous wrote:These threads always surprise me, though they really shouldn’t anymore.
I honestly do not understand how people like this actually cope in life.
Right? OP and the people who support her. SMH
Anonymous
10/05/2023 22:32
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
Anonymous wrote:Put on your oxygen mask first.
You’re fine. Don’t give it another thought.
No. Rude isn't fine. OP should say hello and then ask them to excuse her. She can fein a migraine but to ignore them is beyond rude
Anonymous
10/05/2023 21:30
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
These threads always surprise me, though they really shouldn’t anymore.
I honestly do not understand how people like this actually cope in life.
I honestly do not understand how people like this actually cope in life.
Anonymous
10/05/2023 21:19
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
I would text my DH to send them off bc I’m hungry and not putting my bra back on.
Anonymous
10/05/2023 21:15
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:They’ve been here for almost an hour now. I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. They didn’t tell us they were visiting. I’m really annoyed.
Grow up.
Found the rude, pushy in-law.
DP here, and I'm not a pushy in-law of anyone yet. But seriously, why can't she just say, Hello! Great to see you. I'm exhausted and am going to grab something to eat then crash, but so happy you're getting to catch up with DH. They might then leave! As is, it is clear you don't want to see them, which is insulting and the fact it they are your DH's parents.
So, yes, grow up.
Another DP here. I agree. In OP's shoes, I would put in a robe, go down and greet them. Announce that I am about to eat and ask them if they would like something to eat or drink? (This is just good manners, they would probably turn the offer down). I would then eat, drink, hang out if I wanted to, and then bid them goodnight and go up with the baby. It is absolutely ok to tell them that you are going to lie down with the baby.
I fail to understand why this is a big deal? Your ILs are like your parents and they are the parents of your spouse. Why do they need to stand on ceremony and be formal with you? They are not insisting that you greet them wearing formal clothes and serve them. Why are you so upset?
Because one can’t fully relax they way you do when it’s just your family when there are guests over, no matter how informal. And if you impose unannounced or “bait and switch” (can we drop off our car vs. we’re going to park it in your living room for hours), then that is beyond rude.
Anonymous
10/05/2023 21:01
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:They’ve been here for almost an hour now. I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. They didn’t tell us they were visiting. I’m really annoyed.
Grow up.
Found the rude, pushy in-law.
DP here, and I'm not a pushy in-law of anyone yet. But seriously, why can't she just say, Hello! Great to see you. I'm exhausted and am going to grab something to eat then crash, but so happy you're getting to catch up with DH. They might then leave! As is, it is clear you don't want to see them, which is insulting and the fact it they are your DH's parents.
So, yes, grow up.
Another DP here. I agree. In OP's shoes, I would put in a robe, go down and greet them. Announce that I am about to eat and ask them if they would like something to eat or drink? (This is just good manners, they would probably turn the offer down). I would then eat, drink, hang out if I wanted to, and then bid them goodnight and go up with the baby. It is absolutely ok to tell them that you are going to lie down with the baby.
I fail to understand why this is a big deal? Your ILs are like your parents and they are the parents of your spouse. Why do they need to stand on ceremony and be formal with you? They are not insisting that you greet them wearing formal clothes and serve them. Why are you so upset?
Willing to bet that this PP doesn’t have local ILs…
Anonymous
10/05/2023 20:57
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:They’ve been here for almost an hour now. I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. They didn’t tell us they were visiting. I’m really annoyed.
Grow up.
Found the rude, pushy in-law.
DP here, and I'm not a pushy in-law of anyone yet. But seriously, why can't she just say, Hello! Great to see you. I'm exhausted and am going to grab something to eat then crash, but so happy you're getting to catch up with DH. They might then leave! As is, it is clear you don't want to see them, which is insulting and the fact it they are your DH's parents.
So, yes, grow up.
Another DP here. I agree. In OP's shoes, I would put in a robe, go down and greet them. Announce that I am about to eat and ask them if they would like something to eat or drink? (This is just good manners, they would probably turn the offer down). I would then eat, drink, hang out if I wanted to, and then bid them goodnight and go up with the baby. It is absolutely ok to tell them that you are going to lie down with the baby.
I fail to understand why this is a big deal? Your ILs are like your parents and they are the parents of your spouse. Why do they need to stand on ceremony and be formal with you? They are not insisting that you greet them wearing formal clothes and serve them. Why are you so upset?
Anonymous
10/05/2023 20:53
Subject: I am hiding from my in laws. Please tell me this is okay.
Sounds like they live locally? Absolutely fine to greet them and disappear with a brief explanation that it's been a tough week. My ILs visit from out of town and I feel the need to be "on" more when they're around. But if the live locally I'm assuming you see them more than once every few months.