Anonymous wrote:If parents go out of their way to financially support their adult children from high school up to grad schools with tuition,rents, living, travel, weddings.

If kids attend private school and colleges and aren't eligible for aid, parents often spend so much that they end up needing some help in their retirement.

Most children are grateful and at least try to pay back part of what they received and would've had to pay a lot of interest on if borrowed from a bank.

No, we pay it forward not backward.

We are not either set of grandparent’s Retirement Plan.

And if there is a sudden emergency and all a grandparent’s money and assets are suddenly gone, we would hold a family meeting and everyone would pitch in to the solution and finding help and relevant programs and housing.

Anonymous wrote:My parents never needed financial support from me. This whole idea that kids need to support their parents is very foreign to me. I’ve heard it only about far flung places like Africa and India. I didn’t know this was a thing in the US. It certainly isn’t in Europe. It’s quite unheard of there, in fact.

Yes here in America, most middle class and up parents aim to not be a financial or health burden on their adult kids’ families.
They pay off their house, they keep working, they save & invest, the turn on Medicare at late as possible, they have a long-term health insurance policy, the downsize homes, they exercise and eat healthily.

They are not aiming to live in multi-generational homes for decades or collect $500/months from their adult sons, or move in with one of their adult kiss’s families. They are trying to stay healthy, independent and enjoy themselves a bit.

Anonymous wrote:If not, is it normal for someone in their early thirties to not be financially helping their parents?

Yes, it is normal to NOT be paying for your parents stuff when you/your spouse are in your 30s and one set of your parents are in their 60s or 70s.

You have enough stuff to pay for nowadays with a spouse, house, kids, retirement, activities, trips, work.

I know no one who is supporting their parents financially.

Anonymous wrote:My parents never needed financial support from me. This whole idea that kids need to support their parents is very foreign to me. I’ve heard it only about far flung places like Africa and India. I didn’t know this was a thing in the US. It certainly isn’t in Europe. It’s quite unheard of there, in fact.

^ I learned about filial responsibility laws here on DCUM.

My parents never needed financial support from me. This whole idea that kids need to support their parents is very foreign to me. I’ve heard it only about far flung places like Africa and India. I didn’t know this was a thing in the US. It certainly isn’t in Europe. It’s quite unheard of there, in fact.

Usually, parents of children in their 30s are still young enough to work and earn their own money. Their 30-something children are probably starting families themselves. I am in my 50s. My widowed father is in his 80s. Only recently, has he needed his children to help him with some housing expenses and we are finally in a place where we can help out. My mother was around my age when she started helping out her own widowed mother with finances.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the same poster over and over looking for ways to justify their misery and financial difficulties. Really, give it a rest.

There was a long period of my life where I still needed financial support from my parents when most people my age didn't(through no fault of my own). I've finally managed to become self-supporting, but it now it seems as if most of my peers have moved on from supporting themselves to supporting themselves and their parents. I really feel I deserve a grace-period where I'm on the same level as my peers, even if it's just temporary. I'd like to have at-least till my mid-thirties. But now it seems as though I'm always going to be one step behind my peers.

Do your parents need support? Mine don’t. They sometimes still give me monetary gifts. But I also sneakily pay for their cell phones; have been doing that for a decade. My friends are similar. We love our parents and are willing to help them because we love them but most of our parents aren’t really in need of financial support. I have one friend whose parents do need help (her father is awful with money) and I feel really bad for her that she’s paying for his extravagances on her teacher’s salary. I think if your parents are doing fine financially you shouldn’t worry about what your peers are or aren’t doing. If your parents are struggling I do think it’s good to help them since your post makes it sound like they were good parents and supported you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not normal to help your parents financially, in America.

Most parents also stop supporting after high school and even in high school, kids are supposed to work part time and summers for pocket money or do chores at home. Not many kids live at home after 18. Not many parents pay for college and at best for state college with 529, most students have heavy debt. Most young people pay for their own weddings.

Not in my social circle. My daughter is a third year in college and although she has had a summer job each summer since 16, we pay for college, and plan to pay for grad school and her wedding (when she has one). We buy her groceries at college, pay for her phone, bought her a new car and pay for her insurance. We are able to and she's a good kid (with a good head on her shoulders) so why should she pay for these things? And yes, she can live at home as long as she likes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not normal to help your parents financially, in America.

Most parents also stop supporting after high school and even in high school, kids are supposed to work part time and summers for pocket money or do chores at home. Not many kids live at home after 18. Not many parents pay for college and at best for state college with 529, most students have heavy debt. Most young people pay for their own weddings.

I know it's normal for adult children to pay your parents in the event that they footed such expenses. I was just hoping that it could wait till the age of 35 for most people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the same poster over and over looking for ways to justify their misery and financial difficulties. Really, give it a rest.

There was a long period of my life where I still needed financial support from my parents when most people my age didn't(through no fault of my own). I've finally managed to become self-supporting, but it now it seems as if most of my peers have moved on from supporting themselves to supporting themselves and their parents. I really feel I deserve a grace-period where I'm on the same level as my peers, even if it's just temporary. I'd like to have at-least till my mid-thirties. But now it seems as though I'm always going to be one step behind my peers.

OMG stop it! There is no grace period! You're not going to get one because there's nobody to give you one. Seriously do you think there's some sort of entity that hands them out?

And again, as you have been told, your thinking here makes no sense whatsoever. You're not "behind" just because your parents don't need support.

Anonymous wrote:Almost 80% take loans for college and almost 99.9% pay for grad school on their own. Young people have too much debt to help parents because parents don't pay for their education.

Source? My hunch is that their is a selection bias in grad school and higher percentage of grad students are not paying for grad school than your post suggests. Lots of trust fund kids get PhDs. I would've.

Anonymous wrote:It is the same poster over and over looking for ways to justify their misery and financial difficulties. Really, give it a rest.

There was a long period of my life where I still needed financial support from my parents when most people my age didn't(through no fault of my own). I've finally managed to become self-supporting, but it now it seems as if most of my peers have moved on from supporting themselves to supporting themselves and their parents. I really feel I deserve a grace-period where I'm on the same level as my peers, even if it's just temporary. I'd like to have at-least till my mid-thirties. But now it seems as though I'm always going to be one step behind my peers.

Almost 80% take loans for college and almost 99.9% pay for grad school on their own. Young people have too much debt to help parents because parents don't pay for their education.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not normal to help your parents financially, in America.

Most parents also stop supporting after high school and even in high school, kids are supposed to work part time and summers for pocket money or do chores at home. Not many kids live at home after 18. Not many parents pay for college and at best for state college with 529, most students have heavy debt. Most young people pay for their own weddings.