Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 21:44     Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:Very dateable.

I was 36 with 3 kids and financially independent (I think this is key) and had tons of dates with men in their 30s. Dated a great guy for 4 years starting at 39 and we were the same age.


Being financially independent is not key. Men that care about that are the ones you don’t want to be dating.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 21:36     Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:Found out earlier this year that my husband had a multiyear affair. I will absolutely not jump into anything too soon, but when I'm ready and the time is right, I would like to eventually date as I have been with soon to be ex since I was 20yo. In the future, I'd absolutely want to build a long term partnership if not marriage. Will I be datable?

-33yo
-Kids ages 6 and 3, would be open to more with the right person
-Owner of a thriving business, very financially independent
-Genuinely good family of origin and friendships (no drama)
-Take good care of myself as far as working out, staying active, grooming, being put together (but do have diastasis recti from the kids ugh)
-Great cook, adventurous, easy going, open minded, hard worker but leave the stress at work

I've never been on dating apps as they didn't exist last time I was single. Am I likely to be looking at divorced guys with kids in their 40s? How often do you see people you know on the apps? I've been curious to download and poke around just to see what they are like, but divorce isn't public knowledge yet.


Op you sound amazing. You don’t need anything at all. Please take care of yourself right now. I’m so excited for you to have a wonderful new life.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 21:14     Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:you sound pretty good, but tbh, the diastasis recti is kind of a turnoff (depending on how severe it is). can't you improve the situation with the right exercises?

I did 5 months of PT and the next step would be surgery to repair the rest, but I can't right now because the recovery period includes no lifting kids.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 19:26     Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:Odds are you will find that divorced men with children are probably your biggest pool and will have the most in common with, if you are looking at a long-term relationship again.

Just be prepared to become a hated stepmother and know that his kids will never, ever truly accept you no matter what you do. Their mother reigns supreme, just as you do for your kids, and NOTHING you do will ever change that. Expect heartache.

i wish someone had warned me about this years ago.


I realize that formally she would be the step mother, but why do we assume that the woman will automatically assume that role functionally? Does she really have to discipline the stepkids? They'll be with their mother half the time, and can't the father be parent the other half, when he has custody? He has to do it post-divorce before he gets remarried. Can't he continue?
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 19:21     Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Odds are you will find that divorced men with children are probably your biggest pool and will have the most in common with, if you are looking at a long-term relationship again.

Just be prepared to become a hated stepmother and know that his kids will never, ever truly accept you no matter what you do. Their mother reigns supreme, just as you do for your kids, and NOTHING you do will ever change that. Expect heartache.

i wish someone had warned me about this years ago.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 19:20     Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
My mother had two young children and was very NOT financially stable when she met my dad at 36.

This was in the 80s.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 18:52     Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
you sound pretty good, but tbh, the diastasis recti is kind of a turnoff (depending on how severe it is). can't you improve the situation with the right exercises?
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 18:37     Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Are you open to having more kids? If so, more childless men would be interested.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 18:36     Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
“ not trying to dissuade”

Try dating and see. You’ll probably find someone great. Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 18:34     Subject: Re:Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
DH here.

This is up to you, OP.

Your post says you are “easy going” - is that really true?

Your competitors are single/ no kids. They are more flexible than in you in that you are tied down by 2 kids. What do you offer over single women?

You claim you are “open minded” but you’re in the DMV. “Open minded” here means: liberals only. Or are you actually open minded??

Not trying to diehard you, but please be realistic to avoid disappointment.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2023 18:31     Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you’re open to being step-mom to his kids, you’ll be fine. If you only want guys around your age who don’t already have kids that’s a tougher sell. But older guys (45+) who don’t have kids might be interested.


Agree. Men your age, never married with no kids aren’t going to be your largest dating pool. They are looking for never married women under 30 to start families with. Your largest pool will be divorced dads with kids, probably older than you. There are outliers, of course, so who knows. But just telling you what to expect.


This is divorced PP and it’s just not true.

OP: you don’t have to date significantly older men. I dated men my age, those slightly older, and those slightly younger.

OP: you don’t have to only date divorced dads. Mostly I dated men with no kids.

OP: you do not have to lower your standards or accept sub-par treatment, as no woman does. You are desirable not despite your divorced and mother status, but because of it.

Don’t read DCUM and internalize all the weird, unaligned with reality beliefs spouted here. It’s a vulnerable time and this won’t be good for your psyche. Take care of yourself.


Better yet, stay off DCUM any time you are feeling vulnerable or bad. Get some outside time instead!