Regular knock down drag out screaming matches. No surprise, we are now divorced.

We’ve never had a fight but we’ve certainly disagreed on stuff but nothing so big it blows up. We have each done plenty of stupid things, me more than him, but we are both pretty calm people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW yells at me nearly daily for anything and everything that happens that upsets her (and nearly everything does). Launches into a tirade of insults with no opportunity for me to speak. Very unpleasant atmosphere and walking on eggshells all the time. Oh well.

But the kids?

Yells at them too but calms down with them more readily than with me.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course. Terrible fights. Been married for 35 years and we have been through a number of lows in life. Only thing that did not happen in the marriage was abuse, addiction and adultery.

We are happily married people with a successful life. We have each other's back. We have amazing kids. He is my best friend.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:DW yells at me nearly daily for anything and everything that happens that upsets her (and nearly everything does). Launches into a tirade of insults with no opportunity for me to speak. Very unpleasant atmosphere and walking on eggshells all the time. Oh well.

But the kids?

Yes at the start of our marriage with young kids, so much stress, dh had job stress/loss and identity crisis and he would fly off the handle in seconds over any perceived criticism or irritation while I was seething with resentment and withholding (household and kid load yadda yadda). Nowadays it’s much rarer : we sometimes snap at each other or get into a disagreement but the volume is at a 3 or 4, not a 9 anymore.?

DW yells at me nearly daily for anything and everything that happens that upsets her (and nearly everything does). Launches into a tirade of insults with no opportunity for me to speak. Very unpleasant atmosphere and walking on eggshells all the time. Oh well.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, we argue loudly and sometimes yell. It's a normal way to express anger. We clear the air quickly and hold no grudges. No name calling though.

Ditto. It is like a summer storm. Happens a couple of times a year. I would rather get the emotions out and resolve the issue immediately instead of seething silently. Some people may be built to talk out all their disagreements calmly but unfortunately DH and I are not one of them!

Once every five years or so we get in a big shouting match - but its about a specific thing, not name calling. I mean, I will shout "Darn it honey, you left the door open again," and he will shout "Because I am so busy with the children that I don't have time to close it."

But we don't have fights where I shout "You're an a**hole" and he shouts back "Well, you're a b**ch" That would be going too far.

Not really. Usually quiet treatment. I have cried though when the abuse got too much.
He didn't change and I left for good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never. This isn’t a thing in a normal marriage.

What? Of course it is.

Sure we get in fights.

No, it’s not. Not a feature in a normal, health marriage.

Disagreements, sure. But fights with name-calling, yelling and being mean? Nope. Not in a normal marriage.

There is no “normal” marriage, PP, it’s simply not your normal. Be grateful and try not to judge.

It’s not judgment. It’s straight talk. And yes, there is such a thing as a normal marriage. These characteristics are not a part of it and it’s important that people experiencing them understand that so they don’t normalize abnormal behavior or, worse, model it for their children.

Repeating or doubling down on what you said doesn’t make it so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never. This isn’t a thing in a normal marriage.

What? Of course it is.

Sure we get in fights.

No, it’s not. Not a feature in a normal, health marriage.

Disagreements, sure. But fights with name-calling, yelling and being mean? Nope. Not in a normal marriage.

There is no “normal” marriage, PP, it’s simply not your normal. Be grateful and try not to judge.

It’s not judgment. It’s straight talk. And yes, there is such a thing as a normal marriage. These characteristics are not a part of it and it’s important that people experiencing them understand that so they don’t normalize abnormal behavior or, worse, model it for their children.

A long marriage has a lot of times when you are not your best, for reasons small and great. In a good marriage you show grace and course correct. And different people handle conflicts in different ways and have a different tolerance. I can tolerate yelling once in a blue moon, I could never tolerate eye rolling or the silent treatment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never. This isn’t a thing in a normal marriage.

What? Of course it is.

Sure we get in fights.

No, it’s not. Not a feature in a normal, health marriage.

Disagreements, sure. But fights with name-calling, yelling and being mean? Nope. Not in a normal marriage.

There is no “normal” marriage, PP, it’s simply not your normal. Be grateful and try not to judge.

It’s not judgment. It’s straight talk. And yes, there is such a thing as a normal marriage. These characteristics are not a part of it and it’s important that people experiencing them understand that so they don’t normalize abnormal behavior or, worse, model it for their children.