Anonymous
09/21/2023 11:56
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
Anonymous wrote:I moved to a two-family home a few months ago. My upstairs neighbor is very nice and we have had good rapport. We both rent.
We each have a garbage can and a recycling can on the side of the driveway. I work from home and she works hybrid. If she isn’t home from work in the evening before trash day I’ll bring all four cans to the curb. Same thing the next day: I’ll grab all four cans and return them to the side of the driveway after the trucks come.
So, here’s the odd thing. If she is home the night before garbage day she brings just hers to the curb; same the next day if she goes out to bring the cans back she will take just hers.
The way her schedule is I am doing the cans 75% of the time. I have no prob doing them (not likes it takes any time or is hard to do) and kind of find it amusing she has no problem with me managing her cans but not returning the favor. Just find it a little weird! Would you?
No, I don't. You choose to do it and she doesn't. She never asked you to do so.
Plus, you're bringing out empties. She'd be bringing full garbage/recycling cans to the curb. A bigger ask in terms of weight and grossness. I don't want to drag your spoiled food, cat litter, and diapers to the curb.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 11:54
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
Anonymous wrote:If you were my neighbor I would feel suffocated.
Oh brother
Anonymous
09/21/2023 08:43
Subject: Re:Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
If this isn't a troll post, agree that by not reciprocating your "favor", she's telling you to stop taking her bins out. And I would think it's weird if you took my bins out. I actually thought you were talking about bringing them back in, at first.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 08:39
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
4 cans would be two trips down the driveway no? I only have 2 hands.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 08:27
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
Anonymous wrote:Some people are just selfish without realizing it
I have a friend like this, it’s like she has NO IDEA that some things are favors.
She isn’t entitled, more like clueless.
I’ve actually had a talk with her about it! Not wrt me but to someone else - I asked her - don’t you realize it’s a favor, and she didn’t. She has gotten better at recognizing favors now.
She is smart so I put up with it and keep the friendship but I stopped doing favors for her unless she asks.
But this “favor” may not be helpful. When my neighbors did me this favor, I had to carry my trash and recycling to the street where they had placed my bins, instead of right next to my side door where my bins stay until I’m ready to take them to the curb.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 08:25
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have you ever considered that you may be pulling her cans to the curb before she has a chance to do one last trash run throughout the house? In other words, maybe she's telling you that she'd like to manage her cans and you can do your own.
Yep, I bet it is this. I would not want someone else taking my trash cans in and out, but I wouldn’t quite know how to politely ask her to stop. Jus taking out and retrieving your own bins is a way to politely send the message without a weird discussion about it.
This. When I first moved to my neighborhood, my neighbors started putting my cans out to be helpful. At 8pm. I am not done that early. I work from home on trash days and the truck doesn’t come until 10/11–i now put the bins out in the morning.
You’re probably not being as helpful as you intend to be.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 08:20
Subject: Re:Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
I really dislike it when people do me “favors” I haven’t requested and don’t want, and then expect me to be grateful. I think this is likely where your neighbor is at.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 07:05
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
Oh have a heart OP! Maybe she thinks you don’t want her to touch your cans! She is probably just trying to be respectful.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 02:16
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
Some people are just selfish without realizing it
I have a friend like this, it’s like she has NO IDEA that some things are favors.
She isn’t entitled, more like clueless.
I’ve actually had a talk with her about it! Not wrt me but to someone else - I asked her - don’t you realize it’s a favor, and she didn’t. She has gotten better at recognizing favors now.
She is smart so I put up with it and keep the friendship but I stopped doing favors for her unless she asks.
I have a friend like this, it’s like she has NO IDEA that some things are favors.
She isn’t entitled, more like clueless.
I’ve actually had a talk with her about it! Not wrt me but to someone else - I asked her - don’t you realize it’s a favor, and she didn’t. She has gotten better at recognizing favors now.
She is smart so I put up with it and keep the friendship but I stopped doing favors for her unless she asks.
Anonymous
09/20/2023 23:13
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
Maybe she is just not strong enough to bring them all back?
Anonymous
09/20/2023 22:29
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
Anonymous wrote:Have you ever considered that you may be pulling her cans to the curb before she has a chance to do one last trash run throughout the house? In other words, maybe she's telling you that she'd like to manage her cans and you can do your own.
That was my first thought as well. If you’ve never discussed the arrangement then it’s pretty presumptuous of you to think that another person would want you to do this.
Anonymous
09/20/2023 22:19
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
If you were my neighbor I would feel suffocated.
Anonymous
09/20/2023 22:18
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
Op, leave your neighbor alone. Give her space and let her manager her life.
How else do you "help?"
How else do you "help?"
Anonymous
09/20/2023 22:16
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
Anonymous wrote:Personally, I take my trash out the night before garbage day. I would not want my barrels out at the cur yet. Maybe she would be happy for you to stop and is hoping you will realize?
This was my thought too.
Anonymous
09/20/2023 22:13
Subject: Is this odd? Neighbor trash can situation
Let her do her own first for a few weeks, thus breaking the cycle of you doing both. From then on you’re free to just do your own.