People say that for the same reason they call someone a p*ssy or something similar. Comparing someone to a homosexual or a woman is to insult their toughness, manliness, etc, it's to call them weak, feminine, and most of all not cool.

I'm not surprised to hear that some kids still say this despite many people having woken up to another way of thinking about masculinity, femininity and identity. However, many other people are still asleep on that one and their kids pick it up.

Anonymous wrote:You best believe that if I heard a slur like this (or the n-word) on an elementary school playground that I would not let it pass. I might be low-key in my approach, maybe mentioning it to my kid's teacher or the principal in person when I next saw them, rather than an Official Email, but OMG, this doesn't fly where we live. I'm also confident that our school would take it seriously, but I understand that's not the case everywhere.

+1
It's happened, I spoke up but in a short correcting way, no diatribes.

You best believe that if I heard a slur like this (or the n-word) on an elementary school playground that I would not let it pass. I might be low-key in my approach, maybe mentioning it to my kid's teacher or the principal in person when I next saw them, rather than an Official Email, but OMG, this doesn't fly where we live. I'm also confident that our school would take it seriously, but I understand that's not the case everywhere.

Kids won't understand a long wordy lecture. Just say "No. We don't say that. Choose kinder words." If the school has a no-bullying policy, you could mention that.

Anonymous wrote:It seem obvious that I would show my kid the Hilary Duff clip on that

But I would talk to my own kids about why they shouldn't say it themselves. I wouldn't narc on other kids.

It seem obvious that I would show my kid the Hilary Duff clip on that

Wow, what a sad word we live in. A gay kid might be there, seeing adults not care that gay is being used in a derogatory/slur-like way. I would definitely be saying, "dude, NOT okay." It takes a village. These kids are literally part of your community.

Honestly, I don't see what the problem is here. I would MYOB, because you don't know if the boys are saying that because the kid in question reminds them of someone they know.

Who cares? We give words too much power. I’d rather people get thicker skin than complaining about such things.

Anonymous wrote:Mind your business. You sound like the loser parent they will call gay next.

Oh look, a visitor from the olden days

Mind your business. You sound like the loser parent they will call gay next.

I think there’s a big difference with the expression “that’s so gay” , although people should stop using it, and calling someone gay as an insult.

It was very common in the 90s. But calling someone gay is only meant to hurt or humiliate someone.

I didn't realize kids still say this. Also I didn't know Tim Cool was gay.

If it was my own kid or a friend they would get a talking to. Random older kids would get a look or a "that's not appropriate" if I were close enough but I wouldn't go out of my way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You say, “not okay,” or “don’t say that,” or “nope.” Can also give The Look.

This. Treat them like adults. You get one sentence or less, then leave them alone. They are repeating a dumb slang expression they heard. It's not a hate crime and they didn't think before they spoke.

I once saw junior high kids looking at something inappropriate (porn like) on their iPhones at a school function. I said "that's not appropriate" in a mom voice and gave the look.

Stopped them in their tracks. I think you can say something - I would - but per this PP, keep it brief.

Yeah and they continued later on.

PP here - if they did, that's on them, not me because I spoke up. There were a lot of kids around (school carnival) and I don't want my little kids looking at junior high students looking at nudie pics on their phones...nor do I think the students should be looking at them.

The administration was around, their parents were around, I didn't make it a big deal but did let them know it was not appropriate. Because it's not.

I’m a teacher and I use the same phrase for most everything (N word, rough housing, etc.). “Excuse me. That’s not appropriate.” You say it politely but firmly. At my school, kids will often apologize! But be prepared— someone might tell you off. (This has only happened to me once in 15 years of the teacher. The student didn’t know I was a teacher and then apologized.)