Anonymous wrote:Small schools where students feel comfortable and part of a community.

I think this is a big part of it.

Both of my kids switched from public to private in 9th grade and they blossomed into very outgoing, gregarious kids. Could have happened anyway in public school, but I think for my kids at least, being in smaller classrooms, knowing nearly every staff member and teacher in the school (whether they had them as a teacher or not), knowing many students in other grades, etc. gave them a real boost in confidence.

Yes, it's all generalities, but having been in our public school, vs. our private where the students hold doors open for you, where they look you in the eye and can carry on a conversation, where the boys shake your hand upon meeting you, it does seem that overall the kids have a different manner.

Anonymous wrote:It's the culture, not the school. Being Catholic means accepting and practicing social norms which are currently seen as optional at best by many other children (and adults) today. Families with many connections who are out and about with other families, at church, doing sports, etc. are more likely to produce more socially competent children. The lack of respect and even disdain for traditional social interactions among the urban intellectual elite today (dressing well, making conversation, eye contact, being polite to elders, attending events and ceremonies) is really hurting a large cohort of kids today; Catholics have the social infrastructure to provide a bulwark against some of this. Same goes for Jews, by the way.

I agree with this. I also think Catholic schools (and Jewish schools and communities, as you noted) don't shy away from having high expectations for their kids' conduct and performance. They are encouraged to have a purpose. They are expected to actively engage with the larger community and are encouraged to be leaders. I think this is a choice - any school could do more of the above but they choose not to. Public schools seem to actively shy away from a lot of this.

Anonymous wrote:It's the culture, not the school. Being Catholic means accepting and practicing social norms which are currently seen as optional at best by many other children (and adults) today. Families with many connections who are out and about with other families, at church, doing sports, etc. are more likely to produce more socially competent children. The lack of respect and even disdain for traditional social interactions among the urban intellectual elite today (dressing well, making conversation, eye contact, being polite to elders, attending events and ceremonies) is really hurting a large cohort of kids today; Catholics have the social infrastructure to provide a bulwark against some of this. Same goes for Jews, by the way.

You are describing a minority of Catholics. You probably would consider my large Catholic parish in Upper NW to be no better than the heathens you deride.

Don't think there aren't conservative hierarchies in Catholicism...my mother would often make derisive remarks about various "liberal" Catholic churches.

Anonymous wrote:While OP's premise is overstated, in my experience, the Catholic school families are less likely to flaunt their wealth and their Ivy League legacy (well, there are not as many Ive leaguers) and have a bit more of a "welcome all-comers" attitude. It just ratchets down the competitive noise regarding being the very best -- academically or athletically. You're left with some pretty great and well-rounded kids.

I think the "Catholic" is secondary -- because the church, per se, is of no help

It's the culture, not the school. Being Catholic means accepting and practicing social norms which are currently seen as optional at best by many other children (and adults) today. Families with many connections who are out and about with other families, at church, doing sports, etc. are more likely to produce more socially competent children. The lack of respect and even disdain for traditional social interactions among the urban intellectual elite today (dressing well, making conversation, eye contact, being polite to elders, attending events and ceremonies) is really hurting a large cohort of kids today; Catholics have the social infrastructure to provide a bulwark against some of this. Same goes for Jews, by the way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know in my own kid's school there is a lot of emphasis on public speaking and leadership.

This! My kids who did Catholic for at least part of their education are not naturally extroverted, but they had so many oral presentations that they are poised and fluid orators. Even my kid who stuttered had to present orally and was taught to remain calm and keep going.

My kids are at a Catholic school and I was sold on the tour when the impressive 8th grader showed us around. He looked us in the eye, seemed very mature, and was just had a presence about him, and seemed confident and comfortable with other adults. Most of the teens I saw around town were nothing like that. They mumbled when speaking, avoided eye contact and would certainly never call us Mr or Mrs. I'm sure for some manners are old fashioned and unimportant, but it made an impression on us.

School could be great but I assume they cull their student tour guides to ensure you get a kid like the one you describe.

Try to figure out if that is the exception or the norm.

I did figure it out. I toured public schools as well and not a single student stood out this way. The difference was glaring.

NP. Smaller schools, especially privates, mean kids can’t slide through as part of the massive group of students. You can hide in the back row, not do extracurriculars and really slide through under the radar in a large public the way you can’t in a small school.

Kids may still be more or less shy or introverted, but there are a lot more requirements for interaction and expectations of behavior places on them.

Anonymous wrote:This is a stupid thread. I went to Catholic school from kindergarten through law school. There are all kinds of personalities in Catholic schools - just like public schools.

I went from Grade 1-12 as did my 7 siblings. OP-ED you are seeing what you want to see. Crazy generalization.

While OP's premise is overstated, in my experience, the Catholic school families are less likely to flaunt their wealth and their Ivy League legacy (well, there are not as many Ive leaguers) and have a bit more of a "welcome all-comers" attitude. It just ratchets down the competitive noise regarding being the very best -- academically or athletically. You're left with some pretty great and well-rounded kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know in my own kid's school there is a lot of emphasis on public speaking and leadership.

This! My kids who did Catholic for at least part of their education are not naturally extroverted, but they had so many oral presentations that they are poised and fluid orators. Even my kid who stuttered had to present orally and was taught to remain calm and keep going.

My kids are at a Catholic school and I was sold on the tour when the impressive 8th grader showed us around. He looked us in the eye, seemed very mature, and was just had a presence about him, and seemed confident and comfortable with other adults. Most of the teens I saw around town were nothing like that. They mumbled when speaking, avoided eye contact and would certainly never call us Mr or Mrs. I'm sure for some manners are old fashioned and unimportant, but it made an impression on us.

School could be great but I assume they cull their student tour guides to ensure you get a kid like the one you describe.

Try to figure out if that is the exception or the norm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's cultural. A lot of expressive gregarious cultures are commonly Catholic. Hispanics, Italians, Irish, Filipino, etc. These are typically not quiet people.

Oh good. Now we get to hear from the eugenics corner of the room.

Oh, so you don't think that there are different norms across cultures? Don't be daft.

Irish Catholic?

There are people who are actually oblivious to these differences.

Others don’t want there to be as it’s in conflict with their world view.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know in my own kid's school there is a lot of emphasis on public speaking and leadership.

This! My kids who did Catholic for at least part of their education are not naturally extroverted, but they had so many oral presentations that they are poised and fluid orators. Even my kid who stuttered had to present orally and was taught to remain calm and keep going.

My kids are at a Catholic school and I was sold on the tour when the impressive 8th grader showed us around. He looked us in the eye, seemed very mature, and was just had a presence about him, and seemed confident and comfortable with other adults. Most of the teens I saw around town were nothing like that. They mumbled when speaking, avoided eye contact and would certainly never call us Mr or Mrs. I'm sure for some manners are old fashioned and unimportant, but it made an impression on us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's cultural. A lot of expressive gregarious cultures are commonly Catholic. Hispanics, Italians, Irish, Filipino, etc. These are typically not quiet people.

Oh good. Now we get to hear from the eugenics corner of the room.

Oh, so you don't think that there are different norms across cultures? Don't be daft.

Irish Catholic?

Anonymous wrote:Unrelated to OP's generalization(s); can DCUM make a Catholic school forum? I ask that as a Catholic school parent.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's cultural. A lot of expressive gregarious cultures are commonly Catholic. Hispanics, Italians, Irish, Filipino, etc. These are typically not quiet people.

Oh good. Now we get to hear from the eugenics corner of the room.

Eugenics doesn’t mean what you think it does.