Anonymous
10/27/2023 21:20
Subject: If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Anonymous wrote:A parents' love for their child is supposed to be unconditional. Your parents are supposed to be the only two people in the world who are willing to give you help and care with no strings attached. Yet, parents of adult children on DCUM seem to feel that their children owe them, which doesn't make them any different from a bank or a car dealer. It makes me sad how so many people seem unable to do anything solely out of the goodness of their heart, even for their own children. Everything apparently has to be transactional.
The portion of families that put such “strings attached” parenting were also treated the same by one or both sets of their parents. They don’t have a Pay It Forward culture, but the opposite. Especially if you left the homeland.
Anonymous
10/27/2023 21:18
Subject: Re:If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Anonymous wrote:We estimate it took us about $275,000 to raise each of our kids. It's perfectly natural to ask them to pay back some of that money once they have good-earning jobs. I finally would also like to drive a nice car.
Lol.
Yeah right
Anonymous
10/27/2023 17:00
Subject: Re:If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We estimate it took us about $275,000 to raise each of our kids. It's perfectly natural to ask them to pay back some of that money once they have good-earning jobs. I finally would also like to drive a nice car.
Thanks for the laugh!!!
Your kids didn’t ask to be born. They owe you nothing!
In many cultures children are expected to sacrifice and support their parents in old age. So asking them for a nice car or vacation once in a while is actually quite modest when compared to moving in them so they can take care of you!
I am living in an Asian country currently and just found out many parents expect to receive an allowance of around 10% of their adult kids’ earnings. The oldest child is expected to have them move in with them eventually.
It made me really appreciate my parents.
What if the oldest child isn't cut out to be a caregiver?
Anonymous
09/01/2023 15:42
Subject: Re:If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We estimate it took us about $275,000 to raise each of our kids. It's perfectly natural to ask them to pay back some of that money once they have good-earning jobs. I finally would also like to drive a nice car.
Thanks for the laugh!!!
Your kids didn’t ask to be born. They owe you nothing!
In many cultures children are expected to sacrifice and support their parents in old age. So asking them for a nice car or vacation once in a while is actually quite modest when compared to moving in them so they can take care of you!
Gross. That money should go to your grandchildren. We’ve made such a mess of this world and homeownership will be out of reach for so many, but sure Granny your selfish need for a fancy ride trumps everything.
Well, we deserve a nice retirement beyond just the bare minimum. A nice gift shows thoughtfulness and love for your elders. Don't be such an ungrateful brat!
Well, entitlement is wrong but if one is well off largely due to sacrifices of their parents, its only fair if they try to help them in their old age. As far as giving them a fancy lifestyle, not a big deal for wealthy, they give big donations to charities too, they sure can subsidize a cushy life for their parents.
Anonymous
09/01/2023 09:15
Subject: Re:If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We estimate it took us about $275,000 to raise each of our kids. It's perfectly natural to ask them to pay back some of that money once they have good-earning jobs. I finally would also like to drive a nice car.
Thanks for the laugh!!!
Your kids didn’t ask to be born. They owe you nothing!
In many cultures children are expected to sacrifice and support their parents in old age. So asking them for a nice car or vacation once in a while is actually quite modest when compared to moving in them so they can take care of you!
Gross. That money should go to your grandchildren. We’ve made such a mess of this world and homeownership will be out of reach for so many, but sure Granny your selfish need for a fancy ride trumps everything.
Well, we deserve a nice retirement beyond just the bare minimum. A nice gift shows thoughtfulness and love for your elders. Don't be such an ungrateful brat!
Anonymous
08/31/2023 22:12
Subject: Re:If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We estimate it took us about $275,000 to raise each of our kids. It's perfectly natural to ask them to pay back some of that money once they have good-earning jobs. I finally would also like to drive a nice car.
Thanks for the laugh!!!
Your kids didn’t ask to be born. They owe you nothing!
In many cultures children are expected to sacrifice and support their parents in old age. So asking them for a nice car or vacation once in a while is actually quite modest when compared to moving in them so they can take care of you!
Gross. That money should go to your grandchildren. We’ve made such a mess of this world and homeownership will be out of reach for so many, but sure Granny your selfish need for a fancy ride trumps everything.
Anonymous
08/31/2023 21:42
Subject: If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Anonymous wrote:Love is a two way street, sometimes lanes are wider on one side but traffic flows on both sides.
Absolutely 👍🏻
Anonymous
08/31/2023 21:37
Subject: Re:If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We estimate it took us about $275,000 to raise each of our kids. It's perfectly natural to ask them to pay back some of that money once they have good-earning jobs. I finally would also like to drive a nice car.
Thanks for the laugh!!!
Your kids didn’t ask to be born. They owe you nothing!
😂👍🏻
Anonymous
08/31/2023 21:32
Subject: Re:If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Anonymous wrote:We estimate it took us about $275,000 to raise each of our kids. It's perfectly natural to ask them to pay back some of that money once they have good-earning jobs. I finally would also like to drive a nice car.
You’re full of it.
Anonymous
08/31/2023 10:02
Subject: If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Love is a two way street, sometimes lanes are wider on one side but traffic flows on both sides.
Anonymous
08/31/2023 09:01
Subject: Re:If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We estimate it took us about $275,000 to raise each of our kids. It's perfectly natural to ask them to pay back some of that money once they have good-earning jobs. I finally would also like to drive a nice car.
Thanks for the laugh!!!
Your kids didn’t ask to be born. They owe you nothing!
In many cultures children are expected to sacrifice and support their parents in old age. So asking them for a nice car or vacation once in a while is actually quite modest when compared to moving in them so they can take care of you!
I am living in an Asian country currently and just found out many parents expect to receive an allowance of around 10% of their adult kids’ earnings. The oldest child is expected to have them move in with them eventually.
It made me really appreciate my parents.
My Korean neighbor built.a new wing onto their already huge house for the husband's parents from Korea. The house must be about 12000sq ft. He is the oldest son and told his wife (from the midwest) before they married that this was the expectation and he would do this. They have 5 kids and the grandparents don't really help out much either, despite living there. The grandparents keep to themselves and are kind of like ghosts in the house that cook very fragrant foods. I don't know how my friend/neighbor deals with this, because I don't think I could. They don't even speak the same language and neither has a desire to learn. They've been living together for about a decade and the health of everyone is superb as far as I can tell, so it could be another 20 years!
China used to be like this too, but then again there was no social security system. It was one reason they preferred sons (because of the oldest son’s “obligation “ to care for his parents. ) His wife is expected to care for his parents too.
Not sure about whether the government there currently gives any kind of pension.
Anonymous
08/31/2023 09:00
Subject: If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Huh? Are you talking about a loan? Parent loans don't usually involve interest. I have never met a parent who expected their kids to pay them for being raised. Is that what you're saying? That's nuts.
Anonymous
08/31/2023 08:56
Subject: If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Healthy family members love each other unconditionally.
Kids should care about their parents’ welfare instinctively.
If that concern is not there, something went terribly wrong (ie, love should be bidirectional)
Kids should care about their parents’ welfare instinctively.
If that concern is not there, something went terribly wrong (ie, love should be bidirectional)
Anonymous
08/31/2023 08:40
Subject: If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
My father is a narcissist and has referred to my sister as a bad investment because he paid for fancy schools and she was a sahm with a husband whose job he couldn’t even brag about. He believed his “investment” entitled him to a “payoff” that he could brag about. A psychiatrist tried to explain to him why it was wrong to have an instrumental view of your children but he didn’t get it.
Anonymous
08/31/2023 07:24
Subject: Re:If parents expect repayment from their adult children, how are they any different from a business?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We estimate it took us about $275,000 to raise each of our kids. It's perfectly natural to ask them to pay back some of that money once they have good-earning jobs. I finally would also like to drive a nice car.
Thanks for the laugh!!!
Your kids didn’t ask to be born. They owe you nothing!
Right. My parents bought their house for $100,000 and sold it for $2m. They didn’t have to save, falling interest rates did it for them.
In many cultures children are expected to sacrifice and support their parents in old age. So asking them for a nice car or vacation once in a while is actually quite modest when compared to moving in them so they can take care of you!
I am living in an Asian country currently and just found out many parents expect to receive an allowance of around 10% of their adult kids’ earnings. The oldest child is expected to have them move in with them eventually.
It made me really appreciate my parents.
Exactly! It's not a novel idea. Here in the US the Boomer generation is facing a retirement crisis because they never really had a chance to save. A monthly stipend or allowance from their kids would make so much sense if that were the cultural norm here.
LMAO good one. Boomers had perfect economic conditions. No chance to save... 🤣🤣🤣