Anonymous
08/30/2023 13:02
Subject: Have you ever contemplated cutting your teen out of your life?
Short of the daughter being a total sociopath or something, wtf to this post. Who cuts family members out of their lives?!! Especially young ones? I’m know people who do things like that, and outside of a few cases where the family member is really screwed up and a narc, the person who “cuts off” is a piece of work and the source of the issue. Limiting interactions is totally different - we all have family like this. It’s not emotionally healthy to cut people out most of the time.
If your daughter doesn’t like you, OP, you probably created that.
If your daughter doesn’t like you, OP, you probably created that.
Anonymous
08/29/2023 21:13
Subject: Re:Have you ever contemplated cutting your teen out of your life?
The PP who pointed out (twice) that DD is a real, separate person is correct. The real narcissists are those of you who think that perfect parenting magically creates perfect children (in this case, children you like). You fundamentally just see your children as an extension of you, or some project molded by your expert hands.
It’s also possible to love some but not like them. You don’t get to choose your parents, your siblings, or your children.
It’s also possible to love some but not like them. You don’t get to choose your parents, your siblings, or your children.
Anonymous
08/29/2023 20:26
Subject: Have you ever contemplated cutting your teen out of your life?
Some special needs are harder to deal with than others, OP, and it appears that your daughter has the emotionally challenging sort.
My son has severe ADHD, ASD, OCD and learning disorders, but despite being supremely irritating... he has a sweet, uncomplaining nature and gives off vibes that he doesn't do these things on purpose to irritate us. So even when we get exasperated, and start yelling at him, we feel guilty that he can't help doing what he does. He's never the one attacking us verbally. He's supremely quiet and passive. And IRRITATING. But we love him to bits.
If you're faced with a teen that can't help being cruel because they tend to get punitive and accusatory when upset, and they're always upset... then I can see why you'd grow to intensely dislike them. It's very hard!
I'm sorry. Please try to never give up on her. Maybe she needs a med tweak? A different therapist? You're doing the right thing by distancing yourself at times when you know you two are going to fight.
My son has severe ADHD, ASD, OCD and learning disorders, but despite being supremely irritating... he has a sweet, uncomplaining nature and gives off vibes that he doesn't do these things on purpose to irritate us. So even when we get exasperated, and start yelling at him, we feel guilty that he can't help doing what he does. He's never the one attacking us verbally. He's supremely quiet and passive. And IRRITATING. But we love him to bits.
If you're faced with a teen that can't help being cruel because they tend to get punitive and accusatory when upset, and they're always upset... then I can see why you'd grow to intensely dislike them. It's very hard!
I'm sorry. Please try to never give up on her. Maybe she needs a med tweak? A different therapist? You're doing the right thing by distancing yourself at times when you know you two are going to fight.
Anonymous
08/29/2023 19:53
Subject: Have you ever contemplated cutting your teen out of your life?
No, he is a great kid and I hardly see him as it is. I would have given him a lot of space if needed. I got a lot of space as a kid, a teen, and a grown-up.
Anonymous
08/29/2023 19:50
Subject: Have you ever contemplated cutting your teen out of your life?
Where is her dad in this?