Anonymous wrote:I have one friend who is obese. All my other friends have normal bodies. A couple are very pretty. All my friends say I am always the prettiest and have all said so multiple times.

All my moms friends are slim though I am not sure they are all beautiful. My obese friend is an old friend from grad school. I love her and she is one of the few people I can really be myself with. She was not always this big and multiple health issues have brought about a large weight gain. I don’t think she cares at all that I am pretty and fit.

Omg.

I’ve always been thin and since 4th, friends who skew heavier tend to drift away. No one ever went running/ working out with me more than once except my co-worker who was equally or possibly more attractive than me. Depends on opinion at that point.

I’m finding the same is happening with marital and economic status. I’ve been happily married for a long time. I’ve noticed all of my friends who stay in touch are too. Same with economic status though I avoid discussing that.

New friends ask questions about my marriage and if they find out I’m happily married but they are not, I don’t usually get a second hang-out. That’s okay. Everyone has different needs.

The new bugaboo is aging. I’m managing to still look much younger than I am. That has caused some awkwardness between me some friends and my younger sisters-in-law, particularly. They drink a lot. I could try age myself to fit in. No I’m not going to do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in sports.

There just aren’t a lot of fat parents.

In fact, I think my husband is the biggest guy out of all the dads. He definitely notices. I can’t imagine it’s any easier for the overweight moms.

OP here. My kids also play a lot of sports. Tennis is our main sport.

Fat mom here - you're both very wrong. Overweight parents are more likely to have their kids in sports because we don't want them to turn out like us. My girls play at least one sport every season - soccer , basketball, volleyball and tennis. My younger daughter also does girls on the run.

Anonymous wrote:I do because they do. I'm objectively good looking and birds of a feather flock together. So far, whenever I befriend someone less attractive, it seems to bother the other mom and she seems insecure and jealous. I know it doesn't have to be that way, and I'll keep trying. But that's my true life experience Sunday Bummrr Summer Truth Bomb.

Hahaha, nope. You are telling yourself this to make yourself feel better for excluding people. "Oh she would make snide remarks about how beautiful I am, so I shouldn't even bother"

OP and the posters agreeing with her sound like they’re on the spectrum. I don’t believe you guys have friends.

wow i had no idea so many "pretty" women were on DCUM late on a saturday night.

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is hot for your mom friends.

Yep.

What a weirdo!

Does he worry that most of your friends are a certain age, race, etc?

Your DH is hot for your mom friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in sports.

There just aren’t a lot of fat parents.

In fact, I think my husband is the biggest guy out of all the dads. He definitely notices. I can’t imagine it’s any easier for the overweight moms.

OP here. My kids also play a lot of sports. Tennis is our main sport.

Hmm. I know lots of kids who play tennis and have fat parents. You haven’t encountered any of these people?

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in sports.

There just aren’t a lot of fat parents.

In fact, I think my husband is the biggest guy out of all the dads. He definitely notices. I can’t imagine it’s any easier for the overweight moms.

OP here. My kids also play a lot of sports. Tennis is our main sport.

I think that there are moms who want mom squad of pretty friends who are cool or wealthy or project a certain image. It’s definitely a thing. Even the pretty moms though are sort of just well groomed- blond hair bleached teeth and a good figure. I was actually thinking the other day that there’s really one mom in our neighborhood/school circle who’s absolutely beautiful and she’s actually a little heavy. Think Ashley Graham. I adore her but our kids are good friends so obviously I have gotten to know her better than some others. I wonder to some extent what the mom cliques think of her - I suspect she’s too pretty for them. I’m relatively decent looking but a size 10/12 and try to be friendly but really only have mom friends through organizations where I see the same people repeatedly since that helps with making friends.

No. If anything I’m intimidated by the fit moms! But really the themes among my more recently acquired friends are that they are nice/friendly/non judgmental/in the same phase of life. My other friends have been my best friends since HS/college.

I only care when the parent talks about it. I’m new to our neighborhood and one mom regularly talks about needing to lose weight referring to it as her Covid pounds. I am not her bestie or doc so it’s uncomfortable when she keeps bringing it up.

Anonymous wrote:I just have to say I love that OP’s DH called her out on this. I can’t imagine my DH even noticing something like this or caring about the morality of it.

What do feel is the morality of it?

No, I don’t care. You are probably rich. Most rich moms are fit and pretty.