Anonymous wrote:Comb with a wide tooth comb only when wet. Never brush it. I just leave in maybe 10% of the conditioner in the shower. I only shampoo every 3-4 days.

The OP’s kid sounds like mine. And I have straight hair so I’m asking this- when you shampoo every 3-4 days, do you condition those other days or just shower (nothing to your hair?)

Teens do have greasier hair so I’m not sure washing this rarely will work.

Anonymous wrote:Take her for a haircut at Fiddleheads salon in DuPont circle. They’ll show her how to scrunch gel in it when it’s wet and how to dry it without frizzing the curls. And a good cut for her hair type will help.

Managing curly hair is a whole thing and there is an infinite supply of social media tutorials but the salon would be well worth the money and get her started.

Then you need to experiment a little with finding the right products and the right amounts of them.

No where does it say that the teen has curly hair.

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Anonymous wrote:Oh and OP again—that’s interesting about brushing. She brushes her hair constantly but again, it’s not curly so maybe that’s ok?

I bet it's actually curly. Take her to fiddleheads. They will help her.

Thank you PP! As you can all tell I’m clueless about most hair (mine has always been quite short). I should have mentioned earlier that we moved out of the DC area a few years ago so I can’t take her to fiddleheads. But I welcome all suggestions and please keep them coming!

OP there are a few really good and large groups for curly hair on Reddit.

Wherever you are now there’s an equivalent salon and you need to take her there.

Just a different perspective... All these PPs insisting she has curly hair may not be correct. I had wavy/frizzy hair as a teen that was changing due to puberty. I did/do NOT have curly hair. It straightens very easily (e.g. with Revlon dryer brush) but needs a light oil or cream for smoothing/anti frizz. If I wear it naturally I also use a smoothing/anti frizz product. Too much conditioner and curl serums weigh my hair down... because I do not have curly hair.

Take her to a salon and see what they say. Then she can try different products to see how she wants to style her hair.

When I was a tween I had very long (almost sit on your hair long) wavy hair with frizz. I used to brush it a lot and it just made me have this huge puff all around me. What I learned to do in high school was braid it after showering, wear the braid until the hair was all dry and then have nice defined waves with minimal frizz. But if I had wanted straight hair without frizz, I would have needed to blow dry or straighten or get it relaxed. That's all a lot of work and also not great for your hair, and for me, having long hair was more important than having straight hair.

Leave in conditioner is a good call, and sleeping on satin pillowcases reduces frizz. There are also satin bonnets you can wear at night that also protect your hair. Word of warning: salons tend to cut off much more hair than you ask them to. If that's something that would upset your daughter, be careful to communicate really well beforehand and then watch carefully and speak up if they are doing something different from what you requested.

I have very curly hair that is also fine and leave-in products are no good for me. I also never blow it out and have an extremely easy hair routine. That said, I often leave the house with wet hair, which many view as unacceptable. But if OP's DD is wetting her hair all day, then properly air drying shouldn't be an issue.

OP, have her start with this:

1. STOP BRUSHING. Comb with a wide-toothed comb only when wet.

2. Buy her a gentle shampoo and conditioner with no silicone. Try Tresemme. It should say 0% silicone on the label. IF she has coarse or very thick hair, try a leave-in conditioner.

3. To start, try a gel or styling cream for curly hair. Miss Jessie's (you can get it at the drugstore) is a nice line. For wavy hair, try the Multicultural Curl cream or Jelly Soft curl gel. If she needs even more frizz control/hold, try the Curly Meringue.

4. Ok, the process: Wash and conditioner hair as usual. GENTLY squeeze out excess water--do not rub. Wide-tooth comb as needed. Apply gel or cream. Then let air dry. Don't touch it! Don't comb or brush or play with it. The more you touch it, the more likely it will frizz.

5. If she wants to blow dry before bed, either do a full blow out with round brush OR use a diffuser, no brushing or combing, touching very little. No matter how you dry it, don't brush or comb once it's dry. In the morning, if it's frizzed up a bit overnight, she can dampen and apply more gel or cream. But the wetter your hair is when you apply product, the better the outcome.

6. She likely doesn't need to shampoo as often as you think. Try skipping the shampoo every other time she showers and instead just use conditioner like a shampoo-- massage the scalp, work through her hair, then rinse. This can also help reduce frizz.

If her hair is long, cut a few inches off to get rid of damaged ends. Consider long layers. Take her for a good cut.

Good luck! I love my curls.

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Anonymous wrote:Oh and OP again—that’s interesting about brushing. She brushes her hair constantly but again, it’s not curly so maybe that’s ok?

I bet it's actually curly. Take her to fiddleheads. They will help her.

Thank you PP! As you can all tell I’m clueless about most hair (mine has always been quite short). I should have mentioned earlier that we moved out of the DC area a few years ago so I can’t take her to fiddleheads. But I welcome all suggestions and please keep them coming!

OP there are a few really good and large groups for curly hair on Reddit.

Yes, the r/curlyhair subreddit is a great place to start. They’ll have suggestions for affordable products if that’s a concern and can probably point you to a helpful salon in your area.

I'm the PP. Thanks for including the r/. Basically the premise for curly hair is condition, condition, condition. Shampoo only as needed, but I don't have curly hair so I don't know if this way works. GL OP.

Unless her hair is fine, in which case all that conditioner will make it a greasy mess. We don't have enough information to advise.

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Anonymous wrote:Oh and OP again—that’s interesting about brushing. She brushes her hair constantly but again, it’s not curly so maybe that’s ok?

I bet it's actually curly. Take her to fiddleheads. They will help her.

Thank you PP! As you can all tell I’m clueless about most hair (mine has always been quite short). I should have mentioned earlier that we moved out of the DC area a few years ago so I can’t take her to fiddleheads. But I welcome all suggestions and please keep them coming!

OP there are a few really good and large groups for curly hair on Reddit.

Yes, the r/curlyhair subreddit is a great place to start. They’ll have suggestions for affordable products if that’s a concern and can probably point you to a helpful salon in your area.

But just before you go down that rabbit hole - the curly hair reddit can be OVERWHELMING and make you feel like you need to spend hours on your hair and follow strict routines, and not wash your hair often, etc. That just doesn't work for some of us - like I live in a hot climate, exercise outside every day, and HAVE to wash every day. I also just do not have the patience - or, frankly, the desire - for a long, multi-step routine. So I keep my hair fairly short, get it trimmed every month, use one product, and air dry even on days that I have to look like a Serious Professional. This is what works for me - your daughter will have to experiment to figure out what works for her, but I think we can all agree on two steps to follow right now: (1) no more constant brushing, get a wide-toothed comb that she only uses when her hair is wet, and (2) go find a hairdresser who can give her a cut that works for her hair.

It's really nice of you to crowdsource options for her - I hope she finds some things that help her feel better about her hair. I'll bet it'll be gorgeous once she leans into the curl instead of fighting it.

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Anonymous wrote:Oh and OP again—that’s interesting about brushing. She brushes her hair constantly but again, it’s not curly so maybe that’s ok?

I bet it's actually curly. Take her to fiddleheads. They will help her.

Thank you PP! As you can all tell I’m clueless about most hair (mine has always been quite short). I should have mentioned earlier that we moved out of the DC area a few years ago so I can’t take her to fiddleheads. But I welcome all suggestions and please keep them coming!

OP there are a few really good and large groups for curly hair on Reddit.

Yes, the r/curlyhair subreddit is a great place to start. They’ll have suggestions for affordable products if that’s a concern and can probably point you to a helpful salon in your area.

I'm the PP. Thanks for including the r/. Basically the premise for curly hair is condition, condition, condition. Shampoo only as needed, but I don't have curly hair so I don't know if this way works. GL OP.

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Anonymous wrote:Oh and OP again—that’s interesting about brushing. She brushes her hair constantly but again, it’s not curly so maybe that’s ok?

I bet it's actually curly. Take her to fiddleheads. They will help her.

Thank you PP! As you can all tell I’m clueless about most hair (mine has always been quite short). I should have mentioned earlier that we moved out of the DC area a few years ago so I can’t take her to fiddleheads. But I welcome all suggestions and please keep them coming!

OP there are a few really good and large groups for curly hair on Reddit.

Yes, the r/curlyhair subreddit is a great place to start. They’ll have suggestions for affordable products if that’s a concern and can probably point you to a helpful salon in your area.

Anonymous wrote:Does she have curls?

Obviously, people with frizz have curly or wavy hair and need to use curl defining products.

No one actually has enough information to suggest products or a routine. Is her hair dense or low density? Is it coarse or fine? Is it damaged? Does it need to be trimmed? What is the curl pattern?

All of the suggestions for oil and leaves in conditioner will leave fine hair limp and gross. If it's coarse she'll need more conditioning products. If it's damaged, she'll likely need a cut or bond rebuilders and protein. Etc. We don't have enough info.

OP, she's going to have to decide if she wants it curly/wavy or straight and smooth. One requires products to define the curl and fight frizz, and potentially diffusing. The other requires products to lock out humidity and a blow out or straightener. She should spend time on social media finding hair influencers with hair like hers or go to a good salon to get professional advice. Nothing you're getting here is specific enough because we don't know enough about her hair

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and OP again—that’s interesting about brushing. She brushes her hair constantly but again, it’s not curly so maybe that’s ok?

I bet it's actually curly. Take her to fiddleheads. They will help her.

Thank you PP! As you can all tell I’m clueless about most hair (mine has always been quite short). I should have mentioned earlier that we moved out of the DC area a few years ago so I can’t take her to fiddleheads. But I welcome all suggestions and please keep them coming!

OP there are a few really good and large groups for curly hair on Reddit.

The PPs are right about some curly hair being not worth the trouble, but it’s still good to have an air dry option. My “curly” routine only takes 3-4 minutes and I still blow dry if I need to look good and I still have to wash my hair every day.

Getting curly hair to perform requires a huge amount of experimentation with products, routine, etc. but as people have said, less brushing, some kid of curl cream, no towel rubbing, etc. honestly though, you should maybe also just buy her a revlon blowdry brush and some heat protectant. It’s nice to give her the option to blow it out easily and then not wash it for a few days. Dry with a regular dryer to like 80% and then use the revlon. The frizz on top is also extremely worsened by sleeping on wet hair. So whether she wears it curly or straight, she should try to get it dry before sleeping. She also likely needs a haircut from someone who knows to what they’re doing.