Do you also think your husbands are paying your mortgage with "points"?

Tell her. Don't be creepy about your rich.

Anonymous wrote:I have told this exact lie and it worked beautifully. Friends were still grateful we chose to “spend points” on them but without feeling overly indebted. We had a great time.

One of my high school friends has used this line more than once. We saw that her husband had moved into a C-suite position though. I don't think she realized we all knew but the rest of us joked about it.

No one is saying you should give any exact HHI $$ amount but saying you've been promoted and are doing well is honest and reasonable.
With the discussion of what a man might do, I looked over my LinkedIn. It isn't a huge n-count but men are regularly sharing their new roles and titles publicly. Women in my network are also doing well but I don't see the corresponding public posts nearly as often, even on a job-related social networking site.

I get amused when people lie about their money but are then posting all kinds of things on social media. You want everyone to know and be jealous but don't want to be honest and let them know you actually earned it?

Anonymous wrote:No way a guy would fib in a similar situation or take so much time considering what to do.
You making more money doesn't suddenly make you a great or different person. She'll be excited for you, even if she is a little jealous for a bit.

Nobody needs to know how much you make. Literally nobody. Modesty is never tacky, oversharing almost always is.

I have told this exact lie and it worked beautifully. Friends were still grateful we chose to “spend points” on them but without feeling overly indebted. We had a great time.

Another vote for fibbing.

Anonymous wrote:No way a guy would fib in a similar situation or take so much time considering what to do.
You making more money doesn't suddenly make you a great or different person. She'll be excited for you, even if she is a little jealous for a bit.

Yes because men are SO good at social nuance and do such a great job developing and maintaining friendships. So good that by all accounts men are experiencing a crisis of loneliness with many men over 30 having 0 close friends.

No way a guy would fib in a similar situation or take so much time considering what to do.
You making more money doesn't suddenly make you a great or different person. She'll be excited for you, even if she is a little jealous for a bit.

How about his: tell her you got a big unexpected bonus at work and want to use it to pay for both you to have a great time.

Only you know your relationship. However, if this friend is truly as close as a sister, I think fibbing about your wealth is pretty shitty. You don't need to share numbers or details about your income - it's enough to say that you've had an unusually successful year at work and that one way you want to reward yourself is to treat you both to a luxury trip. (It should not come to a shock to her unless you've been really secretive about money.)

My best friend's family and my husband's best friend (different people) have both ended up extraordinarily wealthy, beyond their wildest dreams. I don't know any specific $$ details, other than that the money feels weird and has had big and not always positive effects on their lives.

They enjoy treating us to experiences we'd never arrange for ourselves. When we accept their invitations, we do so graciously and understanding that they are inviting us because they want to spend time together. We "reciprocate" by being good guests and offering to pay for a token activity, cooking a meal, etc.

It's really not complicated and I think it's strengthened our friendships because they value our shared history and easy comfort together and that's something that money can't buy.

Fib! No one needs to know someone else’s finances. 40 is a big year to take stock and she may feel less than, even though she has a noble profession.

How has she responded to your manipulations in the past? Has she ever called you out on them?

Tell the truth or drop the idea of the trip.