Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:26     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just talk to her, OP? Are you not very close that you can't say, Sally, I never heard from you about our gift and am wondering if you sent a note I didn't get? I feel hurt if you didn't acknowledge it.


Gauche


And propriety-as-defined-in-1800 is definitely more important than clearing the air and maintaining a good family relationship, eh?


You think thanking someone for a $1000 check is so 1800s? You know who broke the good family relationship? Her niece.


Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:24     Subject: Re:My niece just screwed herself
Here’s that attention you ordered.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:23     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Rude on her part. Petty on yours
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:23     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Anonymous wrote:My friend did all of her thank you notes right after the honeymoon. Addressed. Stamped.
Done


12 years later she found them in the bottom drawer of an old dresser.


Seriously. Being married can be a disruptive time in life.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:22     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just talk to her, OP? Are you not very close that you can't say, Sally, I never heard from you about our gift and am wondering if you sent a note I didn't get? I feel hurt if you didn't acknowledge it.


Gauche


And propriety-as-defined-in-1800 is definitely more important than clearing the air and maintaining a good family relationship, eh?


You think thanking someone for a $1000 check is so 1800s? You know who broke the good family relationship? Her niece.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:22     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Screwed herself out of what, exactly? The wedding was the only big gift nieces can hope to get. It’s not like you were going to put $10k in her kids’ 529s next.


So many people are saying things like I am unhinged. I am not. I still love her and always will, just she screwed herself out of my future generosity.


You are not generous. You are gift giving with the expectation of something in return. You also sound very old and frankly norms around thank you notes have changed.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:13     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just talk to her, OP? Are you not very close that you can't say, Sally, I never heard from you about our gift and am wondering if you sent a note I didn't get? I feel hurt if you didn't acknowledge it.


Gauche


And propriety-as-defined-in-1800 is definitely more important than clearing the air and maintaining a good family relationship, eh?
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:06     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
That is a generous gift.

When was the wedding?
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:04     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Anonymous wrote:I definitely think it’s quite rude and ungrateful of her. I’m surprised by how many people act like it’s totally fine to not say thank you.


This is DCUM, where responding to invitations is too much to ask. Inviting people to do things makes you needy. Cancelling at the last minute is fine.

DCUM is the center of the "I don't do anything for anyone but me" universe.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:02     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just talk to her, OP? Are you not very close that you can't say, Sally, I never heard from you about our gift and am wondering if you sent a note I didn't get? I feel hurt if you didn't acknowledge it.


Gauche


So is not sending a thank you note.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:02     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Anonymous wrote:Screwed herself out of what, exactly? The wedding was the only big gift nieces can hope to get. It’s not like you were going to put $10k in her kids’ 529s next.


So many people are saying things like I am unhinged. I am not. I still love her and always will, just she screwed herself out of my future generosity.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:01     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
I definitely think it’s quite rude and ungrateful of her. I’m surprised by how many people act like it’s totally fine to not say thank you.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:01     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just talk to her, OP? Are you not very close that you can't say, Sally, I never heard from you about our gift and am wondering if you sent a note I didn't get? I feel hurt if you didn't acknowledge it.


Gauche
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:00     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Isn’t etiquette all about being gracious, aka offering grace to others? Two wrongs don’t make a right. You’re being petty and rude as well.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2023 20:00     Subject: My niece just screwed herself
Anonymous wrote:I agree. When someone makes an effort to give you a gift or money for your event it's not a lot to ask for a thank you. Even a text would be fine with me. Totally nothing indicates you are ungrateful. No more gifts for you. I'm ok with the concept that no more gifts from me doesn't bother you either. Those of you who don't understand thanking people when they give you something are the problem. The person who generously gives a gift is NOT the problem.


Verbal thanks are perfectly fine. Whatever's the least effortful.