Anonymous
08/11/2023 11:52
Subject: Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
Anonymous wrote:A visit that starts on a Weds is not a "weekend visit". Weds-Saturday is PLENTY of time.
Next time, don't plan to go for so long.
It absolutely is!
And if OP had **planned** for a Wed-Sat trip, I suspect everything would have been just fine.
But nothing changed - weather is always unpredictable, summer travel is always overbooked, work trip was already planned. **NOTHING** changed, and yet OP decided at the last minute to change her flight.
It's not the length of the trip that upset the inlaws, it's the fact that they obviously just wanted to leave early. I'd definitely have been upset if one of my sisters did that.
Anonymous
08/11/2023 11:40
Subject: Re:Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
Anonymous wrote:Is this a one time thing or do you make a habit of this? One time, nbd, things change and you had a valid reason to leave. If you make a habit of it, yes you're kind of an ahole.
One family on my husband's side pulls this leave early crap every year. We've been vacationing with them for a decade + and in the past 5-6 years they've started pulling the we're leaving a day early crap. We now take bets on how early they announce they're leaving and what excuse it will be this year. First few years it pissed everyone off but now we just don't care anymore. It's pretty much soured the relationship between everyone. We're cordial and can get along on vacation but it's clear they don't like spending time with us. It sucks because the cousins like spending time together but clearly SIL doesn't like our family. I feel bad for my MIL because it's her son.
Never left early before (although other sibs have-not sure how much grief they got privately but I wasn’t aware of any and we certainly didn’t care.)
Anonymous
08/11/2023 11:39
Subject: Re:Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
Anonymous wrote:How the heck does a person find out that their flight isn’t just fully booked but overbooked??
Repeated emails from American Airlines saying it was overbooked and asking if we wanted to delay our return.
Anonymous
08/11/2023 11:38
Subject: Re:Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
How the heck does a person find out that their flight isn’t just fully booked but overbooked??
Anonymous
08/11/2023 11:16
Subject: Re:Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
Is this a one time thing or do you make a habit of this? One time, nbd, things change and you had a valid reason to leave. If you make a habit of it, yes you're kind of an ahole.
One family on my husband's side pulls this leave early crap every year. We've been vacationing with them for a decade + and in the past 5-6 years they've started pulling the we're leaving a day early crap. We now take bets on how early they announce they're leaving and what excuse it will be this year. First few years it pissed everyone off but now we just don't care anymore. It's pretty much soured the relationship between everyone. We're cordial and can get along on vacation but it's clear they don't like spending time with us. It sucks because the cousins like spending time together but clearly SIL doesn't like our family. I feel bad for my MIL because it's her son.
One family on my husband's side pulls this leave early crap every year. We've been vacationing with them for a decade + and in the past 5-6 years they've started pulling the we're leaving a day early crap. We now take bets on how early they announce they're leaving and what excuse it will be this year. First few years it pissed everyone off but now we just don't care anymore. It's pretty much soured the relationship between everyone. We're cordial and can get along on vacation but it's clear they don't like spending time with us. It sucks because the cousins like spending time together but clearly SIL doesn't like our family. I feel bad for my MIL because it's her son.
Anonymous
08/11/2023 11:14
Subject: Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
Agreed with PPs that OP has flatly admitted that it was personal. She’s mad the in-laws wouldn’t play along with the pretense that they “needed” to leave early when actually they were just sick of the in-laws.
Anonymous
08/11/2023 11:12
Subject: Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
Anonymous wrote:Some people just want to take everything personally. We visited my inlaws Saturday - Friday wanting the weekend back home to get our 3 kids under 5 back on schedule before they work week started. Their take on our not staying as long as maximally possible was "if its such an inconvenience to come visit us, you don't have to come at all"
I would have cheerfully responded, "Sounds good. If the efforts we make and the time we are able to share aren't enough, our visits can definitely stop. Your wish has been granted."
Anonymous
08/11/2023 11:11
Subject: Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
A visit that starts on a Weds is not a "weekend visit". Weds-Saturday is PLENTY of time.
Next time, don't plan to go for so long.
Next time, don't plan to go for so long.
Anonymous
08/11/2023 11:04
Subject: Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
Some people just want to take everything personally. We visited my inlaws Saturday - Friday wanting the weekend back home to get our 3 kids under 5 back on schedule before they work week started. Their take on our not staying as long as maximally possible was "if its such an inconvenience to come visit us, you don't have to come at all"
Anonymous
08/11/2023 10:51
Subject: Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
I think your actual in-laws might have found this thread.
You did absolutely nothing wrong. You sound like a completely reasonable and lovely person.
All of your reasons for leaving early are valid and your in-laws response seems to be way out of proportion. I’d take a break from visiting for a while.
You did absolutely nothing wrong. You sound like a completely reasonable and lovely person.
All of your reasons for leaving early are valid and your in-laws response seems to be way out of proportion. I’d take a break from visiting for a while.
Anonymous
08/11/2023 10:31
Subject: Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
Anonymous wrote:What does it matter if they are mad? You do what's best for your family. If they are disappointed or mad, they are grown adults who can manage those feelings.
That said, YOU are immature to blame others for YOUR scheduling decisions. Who cares if *you* chose to factor in a "prima donna" into your decision? That's your call. So don't whine about what went into your decision--it was your decision to agree to a visit at that time at that location.
Don't whine about YOUR choices, any more than you rightly expect others not to whine about your choices.
You’re right! Lesson learned, definitely.
Anonymous
08/11/2023 10:30
Subject: Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
What does it matter if they are mad? You do what's best for your family. If they are disappointed or mad, they are grown adults who can manage those feelings.
That said, YOU are immature to blame others for YOUR scheduling decisions. Who cares if *you* chose to factor in a "prima donna" into your decision? That's your call. So don't whine about what went into your decision--it was your decision to agree to a visit at that time at that location.
Don't whine about YOUR choices, any more than you rightly expect others not to whine about your choices.
That said, YOU are immature to blame others for YOUR scheduling decisions. Who cares if *you* chose to factor in a "prima donna" into your decision? That's your call. So don't whine about what went into your decision--it was your decision to agree to a visit at that time at that location.
Don't whine about YOUR choices, any more than you rightly expect others not to whine about your choices.
Anonymous
08/11/2023 10:10
Subject: Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
OP, you reasons were good but next time make any visit a lot shorter. Don't add drama by: being a martyr (others forced the schedule) -while- pulling a surprise.
Anonymous
08/11/2023 10:04
Subject: Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
You don’t like these people (nor does your husband). So, spend less time with them and do it on your own terms. But don’t expect them to be happy about it.
Anonymous
08/11/2023 10:04
Subject: Left family weekend early-Wdyt?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Thanks all! Clearly my in laws have some like minded folks out there. I think the consequence of this will be we just go to see his folks when it works for us and not work our schedule around sibs.
Hopefully, another consequence is that you will see that it's important to this family that you do what you said you were going to do. If you said you were going to stay until Sunday, stay until Sunday (barring actual emergencies; your reasons were about convenience which I understand, but you have to build that into the initial plan). Maybe next time, plan an earlier departure but be willing (privately, amongst yourselves) to stay longer if things are going well.
Yes, as I said neither my husband nor I thought they’d be so mad and would likely have stayed if we had known. (And to be fair, it was only one parent and one sib who were mad-one parent and 2 sibs reacted in what to me seemed a normal way, very mild disappointment.) But the upshot likely will be less family time which I know isn’t what they want.