Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:26
Subject: He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:I got dumped by a dermatologist for the same thing. And he should have known better.
Dermatologists treat male hpv. He’s probably seen enough of it that he doesn’t want to get it.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:23
Subject: Re:He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m a women’s health NP and I spend a LOT of time helping people, understand HPV, its prevalence ( almost all adults will be exposed at some point ), and how to think about it. If you think this guy is a good guy and you’re comfortable giving him the benefit of the doubt it may just be he doesn’t understand it. Hopefully he will get more information and be reasonable. But some people are jerks about this stuff no matter how much info they get. Best of luck to you.
Thank you for your kind and caring response. I appreciate it.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:22
Subject: Re:He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m a women’s health NP and I spend a LOT of time helping people, understand HPV, its prevalence ( almost all adults will be exposed at some point ), and how to think about it. If you think this guy is a good guy and you’re comfortable giving him the benefit of the doubt it may just be he doesn’t understand it. Hopefully he will get more information and be reasonable. But some people are jerks about this stuff no matter how much info they get. Best of luck to you.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:17
Subject: He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP I’m getting the impression this guy doesn’t understand how HPV works and thinks you’ve been sleeping around. Did he say anything like that? I hope his speaking with a doctor corrects this, in which case he’s going to feel kind of dumb.
Yeah that was my impression too. And he worked in healthcare so I thought he’d have more knowledge of this but didn’t. I explained everything I learned in detail but he didn’t seem to understand that he likely gave it to me, he very possibly will not have any symptoms, there is no way to test him to it and since I have it he also probably does too.
Or maybe he just said all that stuff to break up with me and let me down easily? Who knows.
I’m curious on how direct you were that he may have given it to you.
Why?
Did he understand that’s what you were saying? If you were vague, he may not have gotten it.
I thought he did. I did mention that my PAP was normal and didn’t show any cell changes, which could mean a very recent infection meaning he gave it to me. I also repeated that men often show no symptoms.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:11
Subject: He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP I’m getting the impression this guy doesn’t understand how HPV works and thinks you’ve been sleeping around. Did he say anything like that? I hope his speaking with a doctor corrects this, in which case he’s going to feel kind of dumb.
Yeah that was my impression too. And he worked in healthcare so I thought he’d have more knowledge of this but didn’t. I explained everything I learned in detail but he didn’t seem to understand that he likely gave it to me, he very possibly will not have any symptoms, there is no way to test him to it and since I have it he also probably does too.
Or maybe he just said all that stuff to break up with me and let me down easily? Who knows.
I’m curious on how direct you were that he may have given it to you.
Why?
Did he understand that’s what you were saying? If you were vague, he may not have gotten it.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:05
Subject: He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP I’m getting the impression this guy doesn’t understand how HPV works and thinks you’ve been sleeping around. Did he say anything like that? I hope his speaking with a doctor corrects this, in which case he’s going to feel kind of dumb.
Yeah that was my impression too. And he worked in healthcare so I thought he’d have more knowledge of this but didn’t. I explained everything I learned in detail but he didn’t seem to understand that he likely gave it to me, he very possibly will not have any symptoms, there is no way to test him to it and since I have it he also probably does too.
Or maybe he just said all that stuff to break up with me and let me down easily? Who knows.
I’m curious on how direct you were that he may have given it to you.
Why?
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:05
Subject: He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP I’m getting the impression this guy doesn’t understand how HPV works and thinks you’ve been sleeping around. Did he say anything like that? I hope his speaking with a doctor corrects this, in which case he’s going to feel kind of dumb.
Yeah that was my impression too. And he worked in healthcare so I thought he’d have more knowledge of this but didn’t. I explained everything I learned in detail but he didn’t seem to understand that he likely gave it to me, he very possibly will not have any symptoms, there is no way to test him to it and since I have it he also probably does too.
Or maybe he just said all that stuff to break up with me and let me down easily? Who knows.
I’m curious on how direct you were that he may have given it to you.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 21:41
Subject: He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:OP I’m getting the impression this guy doesn’t understand how HPV works and thinks you’ve been sleeping around. Did he say anything like that? I hope his speaking with a doctor corrects this, in which case he’s going to feel kind of dumb.
Yeah that was my impression too. And he worked in healthcare so I thought he’d have more knowledge of this but didn’t. I explained everything I learned in detail but he didn’t seem to understand that he likely gave it to me, he very possibly will not have any symptoms, there is no way to test him to it and since I have it he also probably does too.
Or maybe he just said all that stuff to break up with me and let me down easily? Who knows.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 21:38
Subject: He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
OP I’m getting the impression this guy doesn’t understand how HPV works and thinks you’ve been sleeping around. Did he say anything like that? I hope his speaking with a doctor corrects this, in which case he’s going to feel kind of dumb.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 21:25
Subject: He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I do wonder if I got it from him. Yes it was an intimate relationship.
He said he needs time and wants to get a professional medical opinion and can’t see me but wants to keep our relationship together. (What!?)
Men are often carriers. I'd give him a few days (to consult his medical professional) and see what he decides. Don't hang around waiting for him to "decide" if he still wants to be with you.
OP here—yeah I should’ve ended things with him before and this really crystallized things for me. If he reaches out I don’t want anything to do with him.
That makes total sense. If he reaches out then you want nothing to do with him. What if he doesn’t reach out?
Then nothing
Anonymous
08/09/2023 21:24
Subject: Re:He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s why sane people want sti results before having sex. And it’s to weed out the disease-ridden.
Wow. FYI I did have prior results with negative HPV and he had clean results too.
And you are no longer negative. There’s nothing wrong with him reviewing his health concerns with his doctor. And if he decides that he’s not comfortable seeing you anymore - that’s an ok choice for him to make.
I know. It still hurts and I still feel rejected though.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 21:12
Subject: Re:He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s why sane people want sti results before having sex. And it’s to weed out the disease-ridden.
Wow. FYI I did have prior results with negative HPV and he had clean results too.
Men can’t be tested for HPV so, no, he wasn’t able to be fully tested. It’s likely he could have passed it to you.
Yes this is true and this is what I’m wondering too. No way to know though.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 20:23
Subject: He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I do wonder if I got it from him. Yes it was an intimate relationship.
He said he needs time and wants to get a professional medical opinion and can’t see me but wants to keep our relationship together. (What!?)
Men are often carriers. I'd give him a few days (to consult his medical professional) and see what he decides. Don't hang around waiting for him to "decide" if he still wants to be with you.
OP here—yeah I should’ve ended things with him before and this really crystallized things for me. If he reaches out I don’t want anything to do with him.
That makes total sense. If he reaches out then you want nothing to do with him. What if he doesn’t reach out?
Anonymous
08/09/2023 20:11
Subject: Re:He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s why sane people want sti results before having sex. And it’s to weed out the disease-ridden.
Wow. FYI I did have prior results with negative HPV and he had clean results too.
And you are no longer negative. There’s nothing wrong with him reviewing his health concerns with his doctor. And if he decides that he’s not comfortable seeing you anymore - that’s an ok choice for him to make.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 20:03
Subject: Re:He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s why sane people want sti results before having sex. And it’s to weed out the disease-ridden.
Wow. FYI I did have prior results with negative HPV and he had clean results too.
Men can’t be tested for HPV so, no, he wasn’t able to be fully tested. It’s likely he could have passed it to you.