Holton does not allow early release in middle school. We tried. In addition, regardless of the amount of exercise out of school, you still have to play a sport in middle school. Holton does allow in upper school and has been very accommodating.

Holton is not an outlier in MS. We looked at NCS and Potomac and neither would accommodate in middle school. At that time, Potomac also would not accommodate in upper school. I don’t know if that has changed.

Another issue to consider if your child continues is the amount of missed classes for the sport for away meets. My DD’s team is a mix of public and private school kids and the schools are all different in terms of make up work, submitting work in advance, obtaining extensions. I can’t say there is a uniform approach among the public schools or among the private schools.

This thread was referenced on another one, so as the OP I wanted to add a quick mid-year update for anyone who is in the same situation.

The 15 minutes have been fine and has gone unnoticed. There are some pending admin changes that I think may support continuing this plan next year without the resistance we received this year. Also, my DD’s training location may shift which could allow her some additional transit time and flexibility.

What I’ve learned from looking at the student sign out sheet 3x/week is that kids are leaving for all sorts of things. More than a few kids leave 1-2x/week for private tutoring appointments (their moms asked if we were headed to the same place, which is the only reason I know) that the parents list as “doctor appointment.” There are an infinite number of orthodontist appointments and sports tournament absences on Mondays and Fridays for soccer, lacrosse and hockey tournaments. I don’t feel badly at all for asking for those 15 minutes now that I’ve seen the total volume of missed school.

My DD has shown a lot of responsibility this year because she has to manage leaving from 3 different classrooms due to math groups and specials. She puts in a lot executive functioning work managing her stuff and schedule because she leaves from different parts of campus depending on the class and has to anticipate packing everything up and bringing it to library/math/PE/whatever two periods ahead. She proposed to her math teacher that she will never leave before her work is done (the class ends 10 minutes before the final bell, so she misses 5 minutes) and she proactively asks for her homework assignment if she leaves before it’s given. The music teacher whose class she leaves from has been supportive because our daughter joined the school choir on her afternoon off and worked with her coaches to miss her sport for the holiday concert and rehearsals.

The administrator who was not supportive of this arrangement will not be at the school next year. If we anticipate needing it again, we plan to start that conversation soon, but with a very different starting point. All of my DD’s teachers have said that she manages her classes and departure with maturity and they’re really supportive of her in and out of the classroom.

I was really nervous going into this situation, but I learned a lot about advocating for my kid and the “tall poppy” dynamic some others mentioned. The people who were bothered by what DD is doing are actually few and far between and out of step with where the school is headed.

Our publics have allowed modifications for a girl I know who ice skates. I still think they give the family a hard time, but they allow it.

You didn’t say what grade - is it possible she may be entering middle school next year? As others have mentioned many middle schools have more accommodating schedules at the end of the day such as study period or mandatory sports (that you can waive out of) last period. Find one of these schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or dump whatever activity your kid does. Seems like you've pulled yourself into some kind of trap. Really.

But…but how can you say that? You know, with OP’s kid’s “niche excellence” in grade school and all…

My guess is that OP’s kid being very good at something exposes the mediocrity of the school in general or its student body. They might be engaging in a little bit of tall poppy behavior. Joke is on the school because either she’ll make them look really good in exmissions or she’ll bail anyway and will hurt retention and exmissions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early release is disruptive to the other students and the teacher. Don’t be selfish.

If you want the sport, then home school your child. This is what elite athletes, dancers, musicians, and actors do.

So, when kids leave early for medical appts, that disrupts the entire class? Please! Teachers can manage these situations just fine, especially in smaller private school settings.

Kids “leave early for medical appts” every day? Please!

Anonymous wrote:Or dump whatever activity your kid does. Seems like you've pulled yourself into some kind of trap. Really.

But…but how can you say that? You know, with OP’s kid’s “niche excellence” in grade school and all…

Anonymous wrote:Given that it's August, just pull her 15 minutes early this year and then start looking for another school for next year that is either closer to her practice location so that release time is not an issue or a school that will work with you on scheduling as she gets older. A number of years ago, Maret worked with an athlete I knew to allow him early release in high school. It's a little easier when student schedules are a little more individualized and you can put things like PE and study hall at the end a student's day. Harder in elementary when everyone in the class follows the same schedule.

Thank you, this is practical and useful. It’s frustrating to know that she has teammates at 20+ schools, many of whom are in similar situations, and hers is apparently the only one pushing back. We originally applied to this school because it was known for celebrating its students extracurricular accomplishments and well-roundedness, but the tone of the admin has shifted post-Covid. I think that the work to manage behavioral and emotional issues in the student body has been more/longer than they ever anticipated and so they are enforcing more rigid boundaries in other areas to accommodate that. Bad luck for us.

Given that it's August, just pull her 15 minutes early this year and then start looking for another school for next year that is either closer to her practice location so that release time is not an issue or a school that will work with you on scheduling as she gets older. A number of years ago, Maret worked with an athlete I knew to allow him early release in high school. It's a little easier when student schedules are a little more individualized and you can put things like PE and study hall at the end a student's day. Harder in elementary when everyone in the class follows the same schedule.

Find a school that will schedule gym or whatever non academic class at the end of the day. There has to be a market for this around here.

Anonymous wrote:Ncs will do it starting grade 7

Definitely not for high school.

Ncs will do it starting grade 7

Anonymous wrote:Holton allows early out for sports.

For high school.

NCS is a hard no for early release for sports.

Anonymous wrote:Last period is team sports for all schools that mandate it. Leave then and get a waiver.

She’s at a k-8 and in an elementary grade now but thank you- good thing to consider for the future.