If you are an excellent cook and an adventurous eater, being married to a picky eater is daily punishment. If that's you, don't marry one. Know that the person across the table saying "this is great" and appreciating makes life better. You eat 3 times a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, year after year. Annoyingness detracts from your life and really adds up.

Also, if you are an adult(?) picky eater chefs don't want you to visit their restaurant and wait persons do NOT want to wait on you! The minute they go back in the kitchen they will be talking about you and knowing they won't get a great tip. If you want great service that's no way to behave. Go to McDonalds.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t take any steps. If there’s food available I like to eat I eat it. If there’s not I say I’m not hungry or pick at a few things so no one notices anything.

+1

You think I enjoy not eating a lot of foods that many people seem to enjoy? Why would I enjoy that? We know how you people think of us; no one wants to be judged for their eating.

Your insecurities are showing.

How dare someone feel insecure when they are literally described as a burden? This thread is gross and abusive and should be deleted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust me, the burden is on me. I will eat what I like, and if the food is unpleasant to me, I will be hungry until I can get home and fix myself something later. I never make demands. This is the most important thing: I absolutely do not want anyone to notice or comment on what I eat. If you comment on what other people are consuming, you're the AH. Keep your opinions on what other people should or should not be eating or drinking to yourself.

I’m sorry, can you show me where anyone suggested that anyone say anything to adult picky eaters? You may want to start your own thread, since you have nothing to contribute to this one.

I’m a somewhat picky eater and totally understand where PP is coming from. I make sure to take food I like but don’t need people making nasty faces when I don’t take some of everything. I’ve read many posts on here where hosts disparage their guests for not eating everything that was served since they worked so hard to impress with the meal. Fine. I get it. But, please remember that the point of inviting others for a meal is not to show off your culinary prowess, but to spend time with others. When you’re the host, you’re supposed to make your guest feel comfortable and welcome.

If you indulge your pickiness to the point that literally anyone even notices, you are being a bad guest. I have a former roommate who was an extremely picky eater, and the only reason I knew about it at all was that I lived with her, and she challenged herself a lot because she cared about her nutritional needs, and she had a job that involved a lot of travel and corporate dinners and parties. When we went to parties and dinners, she ate beforehand and managed herself in such a way that no one noticed or cared how much she ate, or what she ate. I can think of a thousand ways not to eat every bite of every thing and have no one notice.

This is ridiculous. People literally ask you why don't you try the whatever or if you want a bite.

I’m not a picky eater at all, but I don’t always feel like eating everything. I’ve never had anyone say something if I decline the green beans or whatever. They’re giving you the side eye because they know about your juvenile eating habits.

A lot of people who have "juvenile eating habits" actually have "poor person eating habits" or "neglected child eating habits." There is a lot of inherent classism in these judgments that people pretend isn't there. And the people who care most about having a "sophisticated palate" are using it as a class marker and it actually has very little to do with maturity.

The mature thing to do is not to judge other people's eating habits, and not to comment on them unless it impacts you directly and raising it can address the issue. But otherwise? I don't care, it's none of my business.

I can find something on most menus that I will enjoy. If I eat at someone's house and the main dish is something I don't eat, I'll take a little bit of that and a lot of sides and I may or may not eat a couple bites of the thing I don't like (depends how much I hate it) but will compliment my hosts on the meal and make sure to eat plenty of the stuff I don't hate.

I think it helps that my pickiness is almost entirely around meat/fish. I don't have the discipline to actually be a vegetarian because I do like some meats and it's an efficient way to get full. But I have a lot of issues with meat. I don't like the texture of most fish or shellfish, and am extremely sensitive to the scent of fish -- if it's super fresh seafood, I can have a few bites and I'm not horrified, but I'm not going to order the halibut on purpose. I can also eat crab and lobster if they are in other things (crab cakes, lobster rolls) though again, it's not something I will choose to eat on purpose. I won't eat sushi other than California rolls (I know, it's not sushi, but that's what I order at a sushi restaurant, along with some tempura). I don't get excited about those things and a lot of people do and this makes me an outlier and I try to make it not annoying to others.

I also find some non-fish meats gross. Beef that is too rare, certain cuts of chicken, and any meat served on the bone. It's just gross to me. But I can eat a hamburger or a steak that's not super bloody. I like white meat chicken. It covers enough of the bases that I'm not a huge PITA when it comes to eating with me. And I'll eat pretty much any vegetable, grain, legume, mushroom, etc. I love that stuff.

If I just told people I was a vegetarian I wouldn't get the picky label. But I'm not. I eat bacon. I'm just picky about meat and fish. There are worse things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust me, the burden is on me. I will eat what I like, and if the food is unpleasant to me, I will be hungry until I can get home and fix myself something later. I never make demands. This is the most important thing: I absolutely do not want anyone to notice or comment on what I eat. If you comment on what other people are consuming, you're the AH. Keep your opinions on what other people should or should not be eating or drinking to yourself.

I’m sorry, can you show me where anyone suggested that anyone say anything to adult picky eaters? You may want to start your own thread, since you have nothing to contribute to this one.

I’m a somewhat picky eater and totally understand where PP is coming from. I make sure to take food I like but don’t need people making nasty faces when I don’t take some of everything. I’ve read many posts on here where hosts disparage their guests for not eating everything that was served since they worked so hard to impress with the meal. Fine. I get it. But, please remember that the point of inviting others for a meal is not to show off your culinary prowess, but to spend time with others. When you’re the host, you’re supposed to make your guest feel comfortable and welcome.

If you indulge your pickiness to the point that literally anyone even notices, you are being a bad guest. I have a former roommate who was an extremely picky eater, and the only reason I knew about it at all was that I lived with her, and she challenged herself a lot because she cared about her nutritional needs, and she had a job that involved a lot of travel and corporate dinners and parties. When we went to parties and dinners, she ate beforehand and managed herself in such a way that no one noticed or cared how much she ate, or what she ate. I can think of a thousand ways not to eat every bite of every thing and have no one notice.

This is ridiculous. People literally ask you why don't you try the whatever or if you want a bite.

I’m not a picky eater at all, but I don’t always feel like eating everything. I’ve never had anyone say something if I decline the green beans or whatever. They’re giving you the side eye because they know about your juvenile eating habits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust me, the burden is on me. I will eat what I like, and if the food is unpleasant to me, I will be hungry until I can get home and fix myself something later. I never make demands. This is the most important thing: I absolutely do not want anyone to notice or comment on what I eat. If you comment on what other people are consuming, you're the AH. Keep your opinions on what other people should or should not be eating or drinking to yourself.

I’m sorry, can you show me where anyone suggested that anyone say anything to adult picky eaters? You may want to start your own thread, since you have nothing to contribute to this one.

I’m a somewhat picky eater and totally understand where PP is coming from. I make sure to take food I like but don’t need people making nasty faces when I don’t take some of everything. I’ve read many posts on here where hosts disparage their guests for not eating everything that was served since they worked so hard to impress with the meal. Fine. I get it. But, please remember that the point of inviting others for a meal is not to show off your culinary prowess, but to spend time with others. When you’re the host, you’re supposed to make your guest feel comfortable and welcome.

If you indulge your pickiness to the point that literally anyone even notices, you are being a bad guest. I have a former roommate who was an extremely picky eater, and the only reason I knew about it at all was that I lived with her, and she challenged herself a lot because she cared about her nutritional needs, and she had a job that involved a lot of travel and corporate dinners and parties. When we went to parties and dinners, she ate beforehand and managed herself in such a way that no one noticed or cared how much she ate, or what she ate. I can think of a thousand ways not to eat every bite of every thing and have no one notice.

This is just not true. I eat nearly everything and I still remember a time I made no comment but picked around the eggplant in a dish (one of the only things I can’t stand) and the cook noticed. Of course people notice.

My spouse comes from corn country from a family of extremely picky eaters on one side. After years of strife, apathy, takeout only, not eating, you name it, I just started cooking what I want that is within the range of what most people would eat. I’ve left in things I’d normally omit and just don’t say anything and serve it. Much of time he doesn’t say anything or notice and happily eats it. Whereas if he knew what it was he wouldn’t dare. This week I made a pan of fried rice that had several verboten items: leftover rotisserie chicken, home cut carrots, kimchi (a very little bit) and a stir fry that also had so called gross ingredients: oyster sauce, ketchup. I don’t think he had any idea about the ingredients except carrot, which I assume he assumed were baby carrots or frozen and not home cut. He ate his whole portion! Similarly, my inlaws cannot stand pepper and garlic because they are terrifyingly spicy, but extended family puts garlic in dishes all the time… which inlaws will eat happily without any suspicion.

In my past life I had to order lunches for the team and we had some very picky people.

One time the hotel messed up, and didnt have our set menu available so they made burgers. One of the guys had a plain burger with ketchup. Nothing else on it. He came up to me later and told me it was the best meal I'd ever ordered! I felt so bad that literally this plain ass burger made his day, but he must have really hated everything else I'd previously been ordering lol.

I didn’t realize how much effort some people expend on managing their pickiness. And I default to assuming that kids might be picky, but adults are not. In reality, most adults in the us who consider themselves sophisticated and adventurous eaters have their limits, so it’s all relative. After living in se asia and Scandinavia, I definitely found mine. As a person who never worries about what kind of food will be served, I’ll just say that I am not offended and really appreciate it if I suggest a cuisine and my friend says “sorry, I don’t care for Burmese food”. It’s easier for me to be the flexible one in those situations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You are trying to deflect because you don't like that, right now in this particular thread, the questions are for and about picky eaters. If you want to discuss other topics, start another thread.

I don't like the assumption that picky eaters are a burden. Most of us try not to be. Omnivores who comment on other people's diets are burdensome, and tiresome.

Again, some more: No. One. Said. Otherwise.

Again, some more: that’s not what this particular thread is about. Start another thread if you can’t participate in the premise of this one.

Your insecurities are showing.

Wtf? Yes, PP, this particular thread is about shaming picky eaters. Don’t you dare deviate from that objective.

No, as stated in the original post, it is asking for insight into how adult picky eaters manage their problem and their behavior. Thank you to the few people who have actually provided an honest response and insight. If anyone else wants to start a new thread on off-topic tangents that defensive people tried to start, feel free.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You are trying to deflect because you don't like that, right now in this particular thread, the questions are for and about picky eaters. If you want to discuss other topics, start another thread.

I don't like the assumption that picky eaters are a burden. Most of us try not to be. Omnivores who comment on other people's diets are burdensome, and tiresome.

Again, some more: No. One. Said. Otherwise.

Again, some more: that’s not what this particular thread is about. Start another thread if you can’t participate in the premise of this one.

Your insecurities are showing.

Wtf? Yes, PP, this particular thread is about shaming picky eaters. Don’t you dare deviate from that objective.

Anonymous wrote:Lifelong picky eater here (though I’ve gotten better over time):

1) I really focused in college and the years shortly after on making sure I could eat SOMETHING at any type of restaurant. Started with the easy ones: orange chicken at a Chinese place, Alfredo sauce at an Italian place, etc. Worked up from there. All ethnicities, all types of food. I can (and happily do!) eat everywhere. Thai, Vietnamese, French, Ethiopian, Mexican, sushi, etc. I’ve got something I can order. My one hold out exception is some vegan/vegetarian cafes with limited menus, but that’s just not that common. So I’m almost never the one saying “oh, there’s nothing for me to eat there.”

2) My husband is the cook, and while I wouldn’t like it all the time, I encourage him to sometimes cook food I don’t like. I eat a side (or honestly, nothing sometimes) and grab something on my own later. I want my kids to be exposed to all kinds of foods and not have my limited palate, and we’re big on family dinners.

3) Honestly, I avoid dinner parties other than close, close friends. I’m not comfortable telling other people what they can’t cook, but I’m also not comfortable with people cooking a whole meal for me and then not eating it. Nor do I want to spend a whole evening hungry.

Thank you, sincerely, for answering the questions posed on this thread. It is helpful insight.

Anonymous wrote:

You are trying to deflect because you don't like that, right now in this particular thread, the questions are for and about picky eaters. If you want to discuss other topics, start another thread.

I don't like the assumption that picky eaters are a burden. Most of us try not to be. Omnivores who comment on other people's diets are burdensome, and tiresome.

Again, some more: No. One. Said. Otherwise.

Again, some more: that’s not what this particular thread is about. Start another thread if you can’t participate in the premise of this one.

Your insecurities are showing.

You are trying to deflect because you don't like that, right now in this particular thread, the questions are for and about picky eaters. If you want to discuss other topics, start another thread.

I don't like the assumption that picky eaters are a burden. Most of us try not to be. Omnivores who comment on other people's diets are burdensome, and tiresome.