Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 19:19     Subject: Tj anxiety
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you knew you had a high achiever prone to anxiety, you do not consider TJ. Poor parenting if are considering it, imo

Also imo. you are likely wanting some kind of thrill for yourself that you are a parent of a kid at TJ -- and not what is best for them, overall.


How about you homeschool them entirely? Take them out of running altogether!

A lot of these kids have anxieties because of their perceptions of others’ abilities. You’d be increasing their anxiety and increasing their insecurities and self doubt if you remove them from the situation instead of helping them cope.



and after homeschooling, you give them a job to work in and around the house to avoid the anxiety an unknown boss may impose on thrm?


You also need to consider that they have enough resources to do well. You should encourage them to give up jobs and opportunities to other people.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 12:07     Subject: Tj anxiety
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you knew you had a high achiever prone to anxiety, you do not consider TJ. Poor parenting if are considering it, imo

Also imo. you are likely wanting some kind of thrill for yourself that you are a parent of a kid at TJ -- and not what is best for them, overall.


How about you homeschool them entirely? Take them out of running altogether!

A lot of these kids have anxieties because of their perceptions of others’ abilities. You’d be increasing their anxiety and increasing their insecurities and self doubt if you remove them from the situation instead of helping them cope.



and after homeschooling, you give them a job to work in and around the house to avoid the anxiety an unknown boss may impose on thrm?


Grow up. This isn’t about coddling kids. Kids who have anxieties about things like this are anxious regardless of the HS, but putting them in a big pressure situation can make little sense.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 08:19     Subject: Tj anxiety
Anonymous wrote:TJ High achievers can have one of the two types of anxieties, one is self induced that comes from 1)comparing oneself to others, and the other comes from 2) struggling to achieve the average.

1) can be avoided by simply accepting the fact that there will be other students with better gpa, taking more APs, better research papers, more contest awards, better college offers, etc.

2) is when the high achiever "thinks" they are smart and take TJ curriculum demands for granted. But not for long. As the Bs and Cs start to roll in, they are forced to revisit their study methods, time management, digital screen distractions, class preparation, extracurricular time allotment, etc. Majority get out of this rut by mending their ways, and eventually get back on track.



Very sensible post. Thank you
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2023 02:29     Subject: Tj anxiety
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you knew you had a high achiever prone to anxiety, you do not consider TJ. Poor parenting if are considering it, imo

Also imo. you are likely wanting some kind of thrill for yourself that you are a parent of a kid at TJ -- and not what is best for them, overall.


How about you homeschool them entirely? Take them out of running altogether!

A lot of these kids have anxieties because of their perceptions of others’ abilities. You’d be increasing their anxiety and increasing their insecurities and self doubt if you remove them from the situation instead of helping them cope.



and after homeschooling, you give them a job to work in and around the house to avoid the anxiety an unknown boss may impose on thrm?
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2023 21:05     Subject: Tj anxiety
Anonymous wrote:If you knew you had a high achiever prone to anxiety, you do not consider TJ. Poor parenting if are considering it, imo

Also imo. you are likely wanting some kind of thrill for yourself that you are a parent of a kid at TJ -- and not what is best for them, overall.


How about you homeschool them entirely? Take them out of running altogether!

A lot of these kids have anxieties because of their perceptions of others’ abilities. You’d be increasing their anxiety and increasing their insecurities and self doubt if you remove them from the situation instead of helping them cope.

Anonymous
Post 08/08/2023 18:30     Subject: Tj anxiety
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you knew you had a high achiever prone to anxiety, you do not consider TJ. Poor parenting if are considering it, imo

Also imo. you are likely wanting some kind of thrill for yourself that you are a parent of a kid at TJ -- and not what is best for them, overall.


I said this above to try to be helpful to other parents with kids like this and people jumped on me because my kid doesn’t go to TJ so I have no idea what I’m talking about. 🤷‍♂️ I agree with you. Why would you do that to your child?


I agree with you. If you don’t think TJ is the right fit for your child, don’t encourage them to go. I am still of the opinion that the stress is overhyped and even the anxious kids thrive there once they settle in.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2023 17:36     Subject: Tj anxiety
Anonymous wrote:If you knew you had a high achiever prone to anxiety, you do not consider TJ. Poor parenting if are considering it, imo

Also imo. you are likely wanting some kind of thrill for yourself that you are a parent of a kid at TJ -- and not what is best for them, overall.


I said this above to try to be helpful to other parents with kids like this and people jumped on me because my kid doesn’t go to TJ so I have no idea what I’m talking about. 🤷‍♂️ I agree with you. Why would you do that to your child?
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2023 15:07     Subject: Tj anxiety
If you knew you had a high achiever prone to anxiety, you do not consider TJ. Poor parenting if are considering it, imo

Also imo. you are likely wanting some kind of thrill for yourself that you are a parent of a kid at TJ -- and not what is best for them, overall.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2023 15:03     Subject: Tj anxiety
I have a junior. Kids with a lot of anxiety at TJ are frequently driven by the PARENTS. Don’t pressure your kid to take particular classes, don’t insist on perfection, don’t insist that it’s Ivy League or they are failures, don’t pick their profession for them in advance, and don’t set a minimum number of APS for them. This is a good start on reducing your child’s anxiety.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2023 01:16     Subject: Tj anxiety
Anonymous wrote:TJ High achievers can have one of the two types of anxieties, one is self induced that comes from 1)comparing oneself to others, and the other comes from 2) struggling to achieve the average.

1) can be avoided by simply accepting the fact that there will be other students with better gpa, taking more APs, better research papers, more contest awards, better college offers, etc.

2) is when the high achiever "thinks" they are smart and take TJ curriculum demands for granted. But not for long. As the Bs and Cs start to roll in, they are forced to revisit their study methods, time management, digital screen distractions, class preparation, extracurricular time allotment, etc. Majority get out of this rut by mending their ways, and eventually get back on track.





This pretty much sums up behavioral anxiety that high achievers fall prey to. Behavior can be mended, but requires self reflection and being receptive to incorporating feedback from trusted resources like parents, teachers, peers, etc.

To those who are looking for medical help with your kid's anxiety problems, this forum is not the best resource for that. Consult a psychiatrist who specializes in anxiety disorder.