Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suicide or OD 90% of the time. If it was a natural 'suddenly' (ie stroke or heart attack) it's usually spelled out to avoid the implications of the aforementioned causes.

This. If it's a heart attack, the obit will say heart attack

Not always. I know of two people who died of a heart attack and one obituary said “unexpectedly” and one said “after a sudden illness.”

You know what they say about those who ASSume. Look at you, true to form.

Was there any clue in the "in lieu of flowers" section? That's usually where people give a hint as to what the cause of death was.

I had a neighbor who had a tree branch fall on her head while she was out hiking with her family. Her obituary said “died unexpectedly.” I know of a woman in my neighborhood who had a brain aneurysm blow while she was at the gym; again, “died unexpectedly.” A coworker’s husband “died unexpectedly” before the age of 40 when he had a heart attack after exercising.

If you want to be a disgusting looky-loo who wants to gossip and speculate and see suicide or overdoses in every obituary, you go right ahead. But know two things:
A) You might be very wrong
B) You are definitely a piece of trash.

We didn't put a reason in my parents' obits, just that they died peacefully surrounded by family. Why not focus on their lives instead, OP?

I know at least two people who were young and had sudden and serious illnesses and the verbiage died unexpectedly was used in the obits. It means exactly what is indicates - died without a prolonged illness.

And yuck OP, you seem very attached to this being suicide.

Anonymous wrote:My mother died in her mid 50s only 3 months after her cancer diagnosis. She went in for a routine surgery when the cancer was discovered as inoperable. Same with my grandfather, but he was in his 70s. Once the cancer was discovered it was terminal and inoperable. He only lived a year.

Usually, it these cases, the obit says "died after a short illness".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know of two separate cases where it was undiagnosed late stage cancer. Terminal, obviously.

My father died just a month and a half after his cancer was discovered. He went to the ER with bad back pain and it turns out that he was riddled with cancer. My mom was bothered by the idea that everyone would assume he died of covid (though I have no idea why), so his obituary said he died after a brief battle with cancer. The truth is, there was no battle. It was too late for anything but hospice.

I’m sorry for your loss, PP. That’s awful.

People place judgments on heart attacks, too, though. If the guy was even a bit overweight or ate like crap or drank people will just a 51 year old for having a heart attack.

My mother died in her mid 50s only 3 months after her cancer diagnosis. She went in for a routine surgery when the cancer was discovered as inoperable. Same with my grandfather, but he was in his 70s. Once the cancer was discovered it was terminal and inoperable. He only lived a year.

I have seen efforts to remove the stigma and shame of suicide with obituaries that say “lost their lifelong battle with depression” or something like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suicide or OD 90% of the time. If it was a natural 'suddenly' (ie stroke or heart attack) it's usually spelled out to avoid the implications of the aforementioned causes.

This. If it's a heart attack, the obit will say heart attack

Not true. My dad died of a heart attack, we didn't put it in his obit. Same for a friend who recently died of one.

"Unexpectedly" = suicide, heart attack, OD, or some kind of accident (car crash, etc). There's no way to tell just from the word "unexpected."

Sometimes the cause of death has yet to be determined (and may never be determined) at the time the obit was written. Some deaths are mysterious. I'd still give it a 50% chance it was a suicide.

Anonymous wrote:I know of two separate cases where it was undiagnosed late stage cancer. Terminal, obviously.

My father died just a month and a half after his cancer was discovered. He went to the ER with bad back pain and it turns out that he was riddled with cancer. My mom was bothered by the idea that everyone would assume he died of covid (though I have no idea why), so his obituary said he died after a brief battle with cancer. The truth is, there was no battle. It was too late for anything but hospice.

Could be suicide, could be OD. My dad died unexpectedly in the sense that he felt dizzy, went to the ER and died before they figured out what was wrong, all they knew was he was in septic shock and we knew he didn't want to be intubated so let him go on his own terms. I think we put something along the lines of "died unexpectedly" in his obit. From ambulance call to time of death was just 5 hrs.

Sometimes details are not given because the family or person value their privacy. Mind your own business.