Sigh. I'm sort of the sister here too. It's true that I've had good fortune in my life so far, but the real differences between us are that I enjoy policy jobs (I'm a GS-14 financial analyst), I dislike most travel, I dislike guys who are in bands, and I understand the concept of compound interest. I'm not any smarter, I'm definitely less fun, I'm not as good-looking, and way less creative. But I love my job and my DH and my family. My sister just wouldn't be happy with the life I live, but I am. And the lifestyle I live provides me certain opportunities (like a pension), and forecloses other opportunities (like traveling the world). I don't think one is better than the other. It happens that I prioritized financial stability. It bothers my sister because she doesn't really grasp the tradeoffs-- the year she spent traveling was magical and amazing, the experience of a lifetime! I spent it working at a law firm and saving enough for a down payment. One thing isn't better than another. Try to think of it that way, OP. You might realize you have things that she doesn't.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not the sister here, but think my SiL thinks this about me occasionally. She grew up affluent - great family vacations, anything she wanted, full pay BA/MFA at top schools, etc. She and her DH are creatives and they didn't want to be encumbered by office work. She was then absolutely shocked when she learned that her parents were not going to pay for private K-12 for her kids. Then resentful when we were able to do so. And it pretty much started spiraling from there.

I didn't grow up that way, grateful for what we have, and pretty generous with our finances. We live way below our income. Folks may call me a lot of things, but smug is not one. But she doesn't see any of that - only that I (not her sibling just me) seem to have "more" than her and it's simply not fair.

You are an unpleasant, unhappy, vindictive and competitive woman.

Anonymous wrote:My sister is a unicorn. Married rich. To a great guy who adores her. Perfect and loving in laws. Great job. Easy and successful pregnancy. House In a desirable location.

She is so happy and smug. Talking about how she worked so hard so she deserves this and we all need to work harder so we can fix our own lives. Ugh I hate her!

I hate to tell you this but she's not a unicorn. I happen to know a few women in my social circle who fit this description. I might feel the occasional twinge of envy but have to admit that they are special in their own right. To have a very successful, loving man fall in love with you usually means you are attractive to that kind of man. That kind of man often has loving and successful parents. Often these women are quite attractive and socially adept. Other than being smug and happy, what does your sister have going for her that you do not?

You mean "envious" OP. You are "envious" of your sister, not jealous

(unless you are also dating her and she's stepping out on you with someone new. And you are jealous of her. Which seems highly unlikely)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP how many threads have you started on DCUM about this? And how many threads are you going to keep starting?

This and try being happy for your sister, no matter how smug you perceive her to be. A better focus for you is on your own life and trying to grow out of your bitterness.

+1. You are making yourself miserable ruminating about this. Focus on what YOU can do to make your life better.

I'm not the sister here, but think my SiL thinks this about me occasionally. She grew up affluent - great family vacations, anything she wanted, full pay BA/MFA at top schools, etc. She and her DH are creatives and they didn't want to be encumbered by office work. She was then absolutely shocked when she learned that her parents were not going to pay for private K-12 for her kids. Then resentful when we were able to do so. And it pretty much started spiraling from there.

I didn't grow up that way, grateful for what we have, and pretty generous with our finances. We live way below our income. Folks may call me a lot of things, but smug is not one. But she doesn't see any of that - only that I (not her sibling just me) seem to have "more" than her and it's simply not fair.

Tend your own garden.

I bet she's giving you the pulling up by the bootstraps talk because you sound like a whiner. It's hard to sit around and listen to people complain about their life and watch them do nothing but change. You might not see it, but I bet she's worked hard for her life too.

Anonymous wrote:My sister is a unicorn. Married rich. To a great guy who adores her. Perfect and loving in laws. Great job. Easy and successful pregnancy. House In a desirable location.

She is so happy and smug. Talking about how she worked so hard so she deserves this and we all need to work harder so we can fix our own lives. Ugh I hate her!

Jealousy and envy are eating you alive..

Anonymous wrote:My sister is a unicorn. Married rich. To a great guy who adores her. Perfect and loving in laws. Great job. Easy and successful pregnancy. House In a desirable location.

She is so happy and smug. Talking about how she worked so hard so she deserves this and we all need to work harder so we can fix our own lives. Ugh I hate her!

Hi Troll. Don’t you get bored posting this every other day?

OP I’m guessing that your sister excels at making lemons into lemonade. A lot of good fortune is in where you place the emphasis and choosing to value those things that are going well rather than looking for the cloud in every rainbow. While I’m sure your lives aren’t equal in important ways, she’s probably minimizing things that you would perceive as problems in her shoes.

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry she'll be divorced and he'll have a trophy wife and new family in 10 years. Let her have the smug because it'll come crashing down. Money corrupts all.

This just isn’t true. The truth is life is unfair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing is as it seems, OP. She may be miserable.

Why are there always people on here coping about being rich w/this kind of stuff? Ah - they have a lot of money they must be miserable!

Not MUST be miserable, but it's true that no one gets it all.

Anonymous wrote:In every life, some rain must fall. It just hasn't happened to her yet.

+1 Seriously. OP, I would never wish ill will or hard times on anyone, but it's a fact of life that no one gets to the end of his or her life without some pain. As an older DCUM poster, I can assure you that it's also true that sometimes it seems as if someone has it all, and then we learn the reality.

Wow, OP your sister sounds like such a peach.
Albeit a very spoiled one.

For her to be so smug + boastful means that she is only projecting all of this unto you to hide other things in her life that she is not happy with.

Because if someone feels any need to brag about all that they have - then they are surely feeling inadequate in other areas of their life.

They boast themselves up to put themselves above others as a way to internally feel good about some things that they may feel insecure from.

Hey behavior would annoy me since I cannot stand being around people who are so toxic as she is + who seem to love sucking joy from others.

Hopefully you can spend less time w/her.