Anonymous wrote:Reading the NYT article about the suicide at St. Ann’s in NYC after a talented but dyslexic boy was “counseled out” just reaffirmed to me that private schools are places for horrible, cut-throat administrators who are happy to accept collateral damage to kids as long as they can rake in the bucks and cultivate their elite image.

I truly hope this boy’s parents who are suing bankrupt that school - and that parents who participate in this vicious game appreciate that this type of tragedy could one day befall them as well.

This is a case of misplaced anger. The parents will not prevail in this lawsuit—nor should they.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are a lot of interesting questions about what private schools owe their students? ethically, and the ways in which their rhetoric and reality are not aligned.

That said I thought the article was pretty irresponsible. It was heartbreaking and I get why they ran it, but I don’t think it was the right call.

The school blew it on the article. Just blew it so badly that I can’t even believe it. How could a school so rich be so bad at PR? It’s shocking.

What are you talking about ?

The article is not a school public relations (PR) piece.

Elite schools are not a substitute for professional counseling by a certified, licensed therapist.

My impression is that the parents were in denial and failed to get the proper, needed counseling for their son and now want to blame the son's suicide on a school that he left 3 months before. The parent's probably thought that the prestigious school would settle rather than endure bad publicity. It looks like the parents are at fault, not the school.

The school had a chance to comment. They had a chance to express a sense of responsibility without culpability. A kid who was in their care is dead. They come across as cold and unfeeling. They blew it, from a communications perspective.

The kid was in his parent’s care when he ended his life. This is not the school’s fault.

I just feel terrible for the parents in general. But it does seem like the school made it clear the student wasn’t a good fit. However, the parents bought into the school’s exclusively BS. I just don’t know why the parents would insist on him staying at a school that didn’t want him there. That said, I think nobody and everybody is at fault here, that’s what makes it so tragic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like a tragic case of misplaced grief. The school is damned if they do/don’t. If they kept him on and he starts failing all classes he’s obviously going to struggle mentally as well. I think the parents feel massive guilt and need to find someone to blame. It’s a tragic situation but I dont think a school can be expected to convert itself to one that caters to special needs because of a single student. There are multiple privates that support kids with learning disabilities that he could have thrived at.

Agree completely. I have a hard time with parents who feel like they're entitled to this at our private.

I have a hard time with parents who feel like they’re entitled to an educational environment that excludes and discriminates against neurodivergent children. Y’all talk about DEI but you don’t walk the walk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do agree with the vast majority of posters that this child should have been enrolled much earlier in a school that could have accommodated his needs.

However, the schtick that so many of these elite privates promote -- we meet each child where they're at! We provide individualized instruction! We prize diversity (what about neurodiversity?)! Each child has their own gifts that we nurture! -- is such b.s. Ultimately they cannot and will not accommodate kids who do not fit into the mold of a high-achieving, neurotypical kid who will get into the elite college these schools will get to brag about.

The whole episode is awful and sad.

+1 this.

+1

It’s hard to blame the parents for believing the words the school itself uses.

Anonymous wrote:I do agree with the vast majority of posters that this child should have been enrolled much earlier in a school that could have accommodated his needs.

However, the schtick that so many of these elite privates promote -- we meet each child where they're at! We provide individualized instruction! We prize diversity (what about neurodiversity?)! Each child has their own gifts that we nurture! -- is such b.s. Ultimately they cannot and will not accommodate kids who do not fit into the mold of a high-achieving, neurotypical kid who will get into the elite college these schools will get to brag about.

The whole episode is awful and sad.

+1 this.

NP. It is possible the school acted terribly AND it isn’t their fault — assigning blame for suicidal behavior is really not a productive path. But that doesn’t mean the school didn’t act terribly. This school in particular, with the lack of grades and the preaching about inclusivity, seems to have been problematic. I don’t blame the parents for their anger, even if the end it is misplaced.

I do agree with the vast majority of posters that this child should have been enrolled much earlier in a school that could have accommodated his needs.

However, the schtick that so many of these elite privates promote -- we meet each child where they're at! We provide individualized instruction! We prize diversity (what about neurodiversity?)! Each child has their own gifts that we nurture! -- is such b.s. Ultimately they cannot and will not accommodate kids who do not fit into the mold of a high-achieving, neurotypical kid who will get into the elite college these schools will get to brag about.

The whole episode is awful and sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are a lot of interesting questions about what private schools owe their students? ethically, and the ways in which their rhetoric and reality are not aligned.

That said I thought the article was pretty irresponsible. It was heartbreaking and I get why they ran it, but I don’t think it was the right call.

The school blew it on the article. Just blew it so badly that I can’t even believe it. How could a school so rich be so bad at PR? It’s shocking.

What are you talking about ?

The article is not a school public relations (PR) piece.

Elite schools are not a substitute for professional counseling by a certified, licensed therapist.

My impression is that the parents were in denial and failed to get the proper, needed counseling for their son and now want to blame the son's suicide on a school that he left 3 months before. The parent's probably thought that the prestigious school would settle rather than endure bad publicity. It looks like the parents are at fault, not the school.

The school had a chance to comment. They had a chance to express a sense of responsibility without culpability. A kid who was in their care is dead. They come across as cold and unfeeling. They blew it, from a communications perspective.

The school did the right thing by not commenting on an issue that is in litigation.

Maybe with regard to the litigation but the NYTimes is arguably more consequential.

Come on. The school is not going to comment on the issue to the NYT. Do you not understand how it works?

St. Ann's has had several controversies in its past.

"A new report alleges sexual misconduct by more than a dozen staff members at a private school in Brooklyn dating back to the 1970s.

The Saint Ann's school in Brooklyn Heights issued a letter Monday, addressing a yearlong investigation into alleged misconduct by male faculty.

According to the school, 19 former staff members were accused of engaging in inappropriate behavior.

The report reveals specific details from six instances, including unwanted kissing and contact at an off-campus party.

The sexual misconduct allegedly took place from the 1970s to the early 2000s, including from the school's founding headmaster, Stanley Bosworth."

https://www.ny1.com/nyc/all-boroughs/news/2019/03/27/saint-anns-brooklyn-heights-private-school-details-sexual-misconduct-allegations

"An elite Brooklyn Heights school known for progressive values and celebrity class lists has been accused of academic discrimination that saw queer department heads "removed" and students' homophobic behavior condoned, civil court records show."

https://patch.com/new-york/heights-dumbo/saint-anns-accused-anti-gay-discrimination-civil-suits

http://brooklynheightsblog.com/archives/95710

Anonymous wrote:This seems like a tragic case of misplaced grief. The school is damned if they do/don’t. If they kept him on and he starts failing all classes he’s obviously going to struggle mentally as well. I think the parents feel massive guilt and need to find someone to blame. It’s a tragic situation but I dont think a school can be expected to convert itself to one that caters to special needs because of a single student. There are multiple privates that support kids with learning disabilities that he could have thrived at.

Agree completely. I have a hard time with parents who feel like they're entitled to this at our private.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When a school tells you your kid is not a fit, you should leave. Full stop. Even if you disagree with their assessment. Put your kid somewhere where they are wanted.

+1 million. I would be out of there in a heartbeat.

God, yes. Why would you pay through the nose and beg to keep your kid in a place where they aren’t thriving? They had money and choices. They made a tragic mistake.

I don't blame the parents. It is such a sad situation. I don't think the school is at fault, but I can also understand how the parents did what they thought was the best for their son. He was probably happy there and probably didn't want to leave all his friends. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Anonymous wrote:Reading the NYT article about the suicide at St. Ann’s in NYC after a talented but dyslexic boy was “counseled out” just reaffirmed to me that private schools are places for horrible, cut-throat administrators who are happy to accept collateral damage to kids as long as they can rake in the bucks and cultivate their elite image.

I truly hope this boy’s parents who are suing bankrupt that school - and that parents who participate in this vicious game appreciate that this type of tragedy could one day befall them as well.

That discussion didn't go as your expected, did it, OP? So much rage these days . . .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When a school tells you your kid is not a fit, you should leave. Full stop. Even if you disagree with their assessment. Put your kid somewhere where they are wanted.

+1 million. I would be out of there in a heartbeat.

God, yes. Why would you pay through the nose and beg to keep your kid in a place where they aren’t thriving? They had money and choices. They made a tragic mistake.

Anonymous wrote:When a school tells you your kid is not a fit, you should leave. Full stop. Even if you disagree with their assessment. Put your kid somewhere where they are wanted.

+1 million. I would be out of there in a heartbeat.