Anonymous
Post 07/30/2023 17:48     Subject: Re:How many outings is enough? So much anxiety
I never had daily, or even weekly, outings as a kid. I turned out just fine. It is an optional bonus thing.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2023 00:02     Subject: How many outings is enough? So much anxiety
Anonymous wrote:You can get a plastic easel, set it up in the deck or just the front of the door with paint or crayons and let them paint/ color away in the deck or outdoors.
They can do play doh with all sort of plastic tools.
They can play with water and plastic boats in containers for hours.
Theu can pretent cook.
All at home.


This. And you can lay there and play “mountain” Ala Bluey.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2023 00:00     Subject: How many outings is enough? So much anxiety
I used to work long shifts on weekends and stay home during the week. It was mentally exhausting compared to working during week and having time off when my partner did.

You are essentially not ever having a day off if he’s not actively pitching in on household tasks. Parenting the kids on weekends isn’t enough.

Just wanted to reiterate that in for perspective. And a nursing job is hard work! The y/preschool arrangement is smart. There should be a day a week you do less. Let yourself off the hook a bit and read the book. Let the kids tear up the house or veg out on Netflix. Hire a sitter every few weeks to get time away too. Or trade with another mom. You’re important too.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 23:47     Subject: How many outings is enough? So much anxiety
Anonymous wrote:I am a part-time stay at home mom, I guess you could say. I work two days a week but only weekends as a nurse. Let's say dh doesn't do sh** except bring home money. He's not the one driving them to swim lessons, cleaning bathrooms or doing any cooking. Today I have been super stressed because I wanted to take them to the y but I also knew I needed to order groceries and cook something. I can't keep up with the house stuff and caring for the 3 and 7-year-old. We don't have money or another car to do summer camps. I create my own loose camp by taking them to the y childcare and then going swimming after. They love the y childcare. Is it normal to feel that I must take them out every day? I wish I could chill the f out and read a book while they watch tv, but I use the tv time for cleaning or all the other crap that comes up during the day. The 3 year old makes a lot of messes. He's going to morning preschool 3 days a week in September. I can't let them roam around the neighborhood as we live in a townhouse community close to a busy road. We also had a drug dealer incident in our neighborhood recently so supervisor is needed even for 7-year-old. Our neighborhood is otherwise supposed to be safe. How do you let go of the feeling you aren't doing enough?


When you cook make enough for two meals. In winter make hearty sluos, Stew, chilli and freeze in cup cake pans do you can only use as many as you need.

Is there a shuttle bus at the Y to pick up passengers in the neighborhood. Maybe a church has a shuttle bus you can use. Maybe I misread but if he's working from home, why can't you use the car?

It's nice that he brings home the money but he also needs to help out at home. You need a heart to heard talk about what he can do to help you. Now is the time for you and the 7 yr old to help the 3 yr old ,pick up toys and put them away and it to make so many messes..

Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 19:27     Subject: How many outings is enough? So much anxiety
Work the same hours as DH, and the preschooler in daycare full time during the day.

Have DH put dinner in the oven if he works from home. Do a lot of easy meals in the oven or crockpot.

Agree ahead of time when you will have a date night and get a sitter.

The key to establishing this rhythm is you working regular hours.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 19:12     Subject: How many outings is enough? So much anxiety
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I absolutely cannot handle staying home all day with my children more than one day at a time (I have a 3yo and 1yo). It’s insane the amount of chaos they can generate especially when they don’t have any time to really run around. We go out every day, often twice a day, sometimes three times. Usually it’s just to the playground across the street or to the park with bubbles — something really low stress for me — but it’s absolutely necessary for my sanity.

That being said, I think feeling like you can’t keep up and your plate is just a bit overfull is just like with little kids? At least I absolutely feel that’s way too. But my kids are wonderful and healthy and thriving even if my housekeeping is a little slapdash sometimes so I choose to believe it’ll be okay. I also want to acknowledge that’s it’s REALLY rough to not have a break (I’m the opposite schedule as you — work 5 days a week, full time solo parent on the weekend) and that doesn’t help with feeling like you have things under control. You sound like you’re doing great, OP!


Op here. Thanks. I think the hardest is not having breaks from cooking.


Stop cooking so much then? If the cooking is stressing you out, there are a lot of options. And the 7 yr old should be helping cook!
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 19:08     Subject: How many outings is enough? So much anxiety
Who watched your kids on weekends while you work? Your DH? If so, he’s not doing nothing.

Anonymous
Post 07/26/2023 19:05     Subject: How many outings is enough? So much anxiety
Working a regular m-f schedule and having regular full time childcare for the 3 year old and maybe aftercare for the 7 might be better in many ways. If establishes order, creates space for both you and DH during the week, and gives you weekends as defined family time.