Such an interesting topic, OP!

Having grown up in a house where everything was trying to figure out how to pay the bills, I find great comfort in being able to not have debt and to buy a $9 bottle of lotion at Walmart instead of the $1.98 bottle for my dry skin. Weird example, but I am happiest when I feel monetarily safe in day to day living. Which means to feel safe, I have to earn and save.

Over the years that has grown to feeling happiness at being able to buy nice sheets, or a piece of art, or nice coffee and a coffee machine.

So mine would be save money to have a gracious daily living experience to feel safe. But this also includes the "experience: of being able to host a lovely (this doesn't mean fancy) dinner for extended family and friends.

I want to be able to enjoy the moments of being surrounded by family and friends without the stress of how to pay my monthly bills.

Next would be "things" beyond a $9 bottle of lotion. Such as a nice home and car, nice clothes for my kids, for me. I have a lovely wedding ring.

And I do want to leave wealth behind.

After that are the bigger experiences like travel. I've done a decent amount, but I don't live to travel.

I make money to live securely, and if something happens I have the ability to pay to fix it or live as easily as possible with it.

We approached it differently over time:

First 25 years of marriage really focused on saving for education and retirement. We lived well below our means.

Once we became empty nesters with education fully paid for and retirement looking very good started the experiences with a lot of world travel. One or two trips a year. And we built a vacation home.

Now fully retired and 70 with grandchildren we still travel…but less….and are focused on funding 529 plans and trusts for our children and grandchildren. Charity is also a big part of our planning.

Anonymous wrote:I just want comfortable, clean safe home when it comes to things. I can get that for one million in DC.
I love just sitting at home and not having to get dressed and go to work (I call it experience). One million earning interest allows me to sit at home and/or work part time when I get bored.
I will leave my two kids 1 million each in today's money. They won't know it and don't really need any. Completely capable making their own money.

Same for me except no kids. Money buys security and freedom. I just want to be comfortable and buy the stuff I like. Sometimes that's the store brand, sometimes it's the expensive vegan stuff.

Wealth
Things
big gap
Experiences

Was thinking about this thread today post Christmas. I find myself wanting more nice things and have cognitive dissonance with actually spending money. We’re not DCUM wealthy but ~$300K HHI and saving at least $100K a year. I need to let myself spend some I feel like….

Anonymous wrote:I spend my money where is counts. Like one of the PPs said - there is no substitute for good quality high-thread count sheets. You won’t catch me with a Gucci handbag, ever. I do value experiences where I bond with people. Our family skis a lot, so we invested in good quality lessons when our kids were 3 and bought a ski home; we get about 15 days on the mountain a year. We travel to visit family overseas and spend money when we are with them. That said experiences like a Pink or Taylor Swift concert, although I like their music, will not increase the quality of my life one iota, so I will never buy a ticket. I buy my kids clothing that will allow them to fit in, but never be at the height of fashion (hard no to Golden Goose shoes!). With this - I actually bought 2 ski homes - one for each kid, held in trust. This ensures my grandkids will also have this experience. When I retire, I’ll buy something small for myself in the area. So, my priorities are BONDING experiences, then generational wealth. Things are just for comfort along the way, like a good night’s sleep, healthy delicious food, comfortable warm clothing, etc. - nothing fancy or showy.

Similar mindset here. Substitute beach house for ski house. The family memories make it worth it. Nice homes in very nice, safe areas are very important to me. I buy high quality kitchen stuff because I like to cook - vitamix, wustof and henckels knives, all-clad pots and pans, etc. Couldn't care less about designer bags or clothing. I do like to look current but I don't spend a fortune on clothing and don't buy a lot of it. I also don't go to many concerts. Just not worth it to me.

Sounds like each of the three is going to require more money than I'll ever have. But if we're pretending...

I'm basic, so the nice things and experiences would be wasted on me.
Let's make it generational wealth so my kids can put their kids in good schools and not have to make painful medical decisions.

I don't have kids (not by choice) and I have too many nephews and nieces to be able to accumulate enough to take care of me in old age (we live FOREVER in my family) and leave something lifechanging for all of them, so not concerned about generational wealth. Experiences. And a few things. Like, I want a nicer house.

Anonymous wrote:Skiing a white people thing?

Black Ski Summit has been a thing for a long time. Not sure about the popularity among other POC groups.

I don’t have kids so don’t plan on leaving one cent behind. Prefer experiences over things.

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and I were talking about this today and curious the mindset of folks here —

Would you rather have things, experiences, or generational wealth? Now most are going to say all three so here’s the followup: what is the balance between the three?

Would you rather have a closet full of designer handbags or go on Safari to Africa? Or would you rather just save all of the money for the next generation?

For those who are savers, particularly saving above and beyond for retirement, if you were diagnosed as terminal tomorrow, would you regret not spending more on things or experiences?

This is interesting. Until lately I always leaned to experiences and wealth but for some reason now I want things. Nice things.

Anonymous wrote:Skiing a white people thing?

I'm not white. I ski. You're racist.

I don't care at all about generational wealth, but I highly prize saving to make sure we have a comfortable retirement.

Novel experiences are good, but travel is a lower value proposition than it used to me. It's terribly expense and often pretty unpleasant these days. So travel for travel's sake if off the table.

In terms of things - I do value home, and nice things at home.

1. Savings for education, comfortable retirement.

2. Experiences

3. Gen wealth

4. Things, I guess? If I had to guess, we have probably always spent well under what others in our income bracket spend but have never felt like we were missing or coveting anything. So buying things is not a good use of money for us.

Skiing a white people thing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spend my money where is counts. Like one of the PPs said - there is no substitute for good quality high-thread count sheets. You won’t catch me with a Gucci handbag, ever. I do value experiences where I bond with people. Our family skis a lot, so we invested in good quality lessons when our kids were 3 and bought a ski home; we get about 15 days on the mountain a year. We travel to visit family overseas and spend money when we are with them. That said experiences like a Pink or Taylor Swift concert, although I like their music, will not increase the quality of my life one iota, so I will never buy a ticket. I buy my kids clothing that will allow them to fit in, but never be at the height of fashion (hard no to Golden Goose shoes!). With this - I actually bought 2 ski homes - one for each kid, held in trust. This ensures my grandkids will also have this experience. When I retire, I’ll buy something small for myself in the area. So, my priorities are BONDING experiences, then generational wealth. Things are just for comfort along the way, like a good night’s sleep, healthy delicious food, comfortable warm clothing, etc. - nothing fancy or showy.

We’re a skiing family too. I’m interested in your ski homes. A few QQs?

-How good is your family? I ask because my DW, my DD, and I are experts that generally ski double blacks out west, and I’m worried everyone would quickly get bored of anything in the mid-Atlantic, especially as the younger kids advance.

- Are your 2 ski homes in the same area? What state(s)?

- How many BRs in each house? I’d be torn between buying something just large enough for our family vs something large enough for multiple families (we have 3 kids).

- Do you rent it out?

- I’ve considered buying a place in Colorado (we live in DC). We’d use it at least 3 times per season, but I don’t know if family would go with us (flight $$$). Friends likely would, though.

- We like to visit lots of places, and sometimes Chase storms. This is one thing that has held us back. Do you pretty much always ski at your home mountain?

We all ski double blacks and back country. Our youngest is still resort single black.
Homes are each small 2bdrm in CO very close together. We bought before the short term rental moratorium, so we rent it out when we're not using them (not transferrable to new buyers in our area). We bring friends and they stay in one place, we stay in the other.

We get the Epic pass, which allows us to ski multiple places. We can stay at our place and reach 5 or 6 different resorts without getting additional accommodation. We haent been bored of the terrain ever! We also stay during the summer for a while, which is an added bonus because we don't make money off the places in the summer.