Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Likely because they are in their 30s and already live together they don't want presents. This was tacky to say explicitly when I was married. You give a couple a gift anyway, why give them something they don't want?

If they don’t want anything they shouldn’t accept anything. Traditionally wedding gifts are to launch the new couple. M If the new convention is getting married after you’re established, couples should learn to stop asking for gifts at all.

+1

Anonymous wrote:How is asking for money different than asking for various items on a registry?

Because a registry is a list of items that the couple would happily receive. It helps give direction in terms of colors and styles. Someone might want to give towels, but has no idea what color the couple would like best. The registry helps.

And if someone doesn’t want to give a gift off of the registry, they don’t have to. If they want to give money, they’re welcome to do so. If they want to give a gift card, they can. If they want to give a handmade quilt, they’re welcome to.

The issue with this couple is that they’re making cash the ONLY gift option.

I think it’s super tacky too but I’m 45 and white.

Anonymous wrote:The bride wants to make the task of writing thank you notes easier by not having to mention specific gifts and how she and hubby plan to use them. She can say the same thing to everybody. Yes, it is tacky.

Why would you assume THE BRIDE would be in charge of:
1) Writing all the thank you notes alone
2) Deciding—apparently unilaterally—what the notes will say

Why are you assuming that all weddings = bride and groom? What if two men or two women get married? How then will you assign blame to only ONE of the people getting married, if you don’t have the automatic, assumed scapegoat of one bride to blame?

Anonymous wrote:Likely because they are in their 30s and already live together they don't want presents. This was tacky to say explicitly when I was married. You give a couple a gift anyway, why give them something they don't want?

If they don’t want anything they shouldn’t accept anything. Traditionally wedding gifts are to launch the new couple. M If the new convention is getting married after you’re established, couples should learn to stop asking for gifts at all.

Anonymous wrote:I think that registries are for showers and you should bring a check to the wedding. Are you seriously going to bring a gift to the wedding that the couple has to figure out how to get home?

You send it in advance or after the wedding. You don’t bring it to the venue.

Likely because they are in their 30s and already live together they don't want presents. This was tacky to say explicitly when I was married. You give a couple a gift anyway, why give them something they don't want?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is asking for money different than asking for various items on a registry?

There can be a specialness to the items on the registry, like from picturing the couple hosting a dinner party or enjoying a romantic picnic, with the items on a registry.

Imagine them having sex on the vacation you laid for, drunk off the alcohol you paid for, getting pregnant for the Obstetrician copay you paid for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is asking for money different than asking for various items on a registry?

There can be a specialness to the items on the registry, like from picturing the couple hosting a dinner party or enjoying a romantic picnic, with the items on a registry.

What?

I think that registries are for showers and you should bring a check to the wedding. Are you seriously going to bring a gift to the wedding that the couple has to figure out how to get home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is asking for money different than asking for various items on a registry?

There can be a specialness to the items on the registry, like from picturing the couple hosting a dinner party or enjoying a romantic picnic, with the items on a registry.

This is wild to me!

Anonymous wrote:How is asking for money different than asking for various items on a registry?

There can be a specialness to the items on the registry, like from picturing the couple hosting a dinner party or enjoying a romantic picnic, with the items on a registry.

How is asking for money different than asking for various items on a registry?

OP, I agree it is incredibly tacky.

I was invited to a wedding and you rsvp on line. There is also a link to the registry. When you click on the link you are told no gifts are necessary but if you insist you can contribute to the brides kitchen remodeling fund.

I was really offended. I"m not sure what I'm going to do.

Many people give a check or cash anyways but it is being told they are only accepting cash to remodel their house that is really really tacky.

The bride wants to make the task of writing thank you notes easier by not having to mention specific gifts and how she and hubby plan to use them. She can say the same thing to everybody. Yes, it is tacky.