Anonymous wrote:I have come across this interesting phenomenon where the UMC young professionals I come across in their twenties and thirties are sort of cold and aloof. They aren’t very friendly and do not go out of their way to befriend you.

In comparison middle class people are so warm and friendly. As are the upper class people.

Why do you think this is?

Screen and social media addiction. That’s their “interaction”.

Plus they wear their ear buds all day so don’t talk or respond.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they have instincts about you that you’d be the type of person to post this sort of silly thing.

+1

"Why are UMC people cold and unfriendly?"

Fixed it for you, OP: "Why do people make gross generalizations as if they're spouting universal truths?"

Not OP, but your level of defensiveness about this is telling.

It's telling when people post vast generalizations as if their completely individual experience is universally applicable. Lack of perspective is alive and thriving on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:First, truly upper class people know that you’re no competition. Their assured success for themselves and their offspring have nothing to do with you. So they can be gracious with you.

Middle-class people are clowns. They are truck drivers and secretaries, or maybe they are Feds destined to max out at GS-12. They think you’re supposed to follow the Golden Rule rather than assessing whether the other person is worthy.

UMCs have attained success but know it’s tenuous. After all, this is America. So yeah, I’ll coach your kid, but mine will pitch and play shortstop. Unless of course your FIL is GC at a corporation that could lock in my partnership if I bring their business. Then my kid will play 3b or 2b, pitch #2, and play short when yours pitches.

There’s a complete difference between people who grew up UMC and are secure in their positions vs. people who grew up MC and are impressed with themselves that they were able to climb the ladder. It’s very easy to tell the difference and you describe the latter.

People who need other people often have stronger social networks by necessity. People who give each other rides home from work,
watch each others kids, help each other move, loan a pick up truck, etc. When you don’t have a lot of money, you develop an informal economy where you barter for services.

Who do you hear worrying or complaining about childcare, days of school, etc? It’s often UMC moms because they don’t have a network of people to help out. When I was a kid, I didn’t go to extended day. My mom paid a stay at home mom on our street a small amount to walk me to the bus with her own kids each morning. We also lived in a place where the dentist, the woman who cleaned our house, our mechanic, the manager of a local restaurant we frequented - all were parents of kids at my school.

I am now in a position that I can pay for a lot of services. I don’t know the women who clean my house. I don’t know where my hairdresser or dentist live. I don’t need to - nor is it considered rude that I don’t know their kids names. I am friendly and connected to my neighbors, my coworkers, parents at my kids school or their activities and sports teams. I am not outgoing with people outside those groups. I like to think I am courteous and polite, but I am not asking your dog’s name or trying to figure out if your grandmother went to high school with my uncle.

I feel like a lot of UC/UMC women are constantly hungry and over-caffeinated. Carb consumption works as a social emollient.

They are just busy. They have moved away from friends and extended family to take high stress jobs and then they put their kids are in an million activities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I doubt that if you consort with middle class people, you are familiar with many upper class people. I don’t mean that in a snobby way, it’s just the truth. So I doubt your data pool is significant. Alternatively, if you’re mostly around UC, then I think you can’t really opine on the MC.

First, learn to read. OP is talking about UMC, not UC.

UMC and MC people interact all the time, and the line is fuzzy. Especially in a place like DC with very high COL, where many UMC people send their kids to school, live in gentrifying neighborhoods, etc. My neighborhood in DC has plenty of MC families (feds, school teachers, nurses, etc.) who live in houses bought before the neighborhood gentrified, or in condos. But it also has lots of UMC people (lawyers, doctors, consultants, political people, high level feds) who bought more recently.

We interact daily, and OP’s observation holds. The UMC people are more aloof and less friendly. They smile less. They can be friendly towards each other if they have an established relationship, but they are outwardly cold. MC people are friendlier and more open.

I did read it, and OP stated that she felt both UC and MC people are friendly, but I seriously doubt that she has enough information about one group or the other to make an informed statement. If she is hanging around a lot of MC people, she does not have the same relationship with UC people, and vice versa. People generally stick to their social class. So I think her whole premise is flawed, because she is only having superficial interactions with at least one of these groups, and is therefore unqualified to really opine on the subject in an informed way.

But OP is talking about superficial interactions. When someone says a person was cold and unfriendly, they aren't talking about an interaction with a close friend. OP means that when she encounters UMC (or MC or UC) people out in the world, on a playground or at a cocktail party or on an airplane. All places you might encounter someone of another class, especially if you live in an urban area.

Also, just in general, UC and MC people encounter each other constantly because UC empty a lot of MC people. Some MC might only interact with other MC and UMC people, but no UC people ONLY interact with UC people. They might not think much about the MC people they interact with or consider them peers, but they do interact with them, daily.

I mean, this basically proves my point. Thank you.

I wonder what strange bubble some posters here live in where they only interact with their exact SES? That isn’t my experience at all.

I grew up in McLean where our neighborhood comprised of UC - UMC families and same at the schools I attended. In college I knew friends from UC-LMC who were first gen college students.

I live in Vienna and I know and am friendly with MC/UMC neighbors and friends and UC/LMC colleagues at work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they are stressed!

Give them a few years, once the midlife existential crisis hits and people start chilling out.

Lol to the idea that UMC people are more stressed at midlife than MC people.

Maybe they are just myopic, and unable to understand that (1) everyone is stressed to some degree, and (2) engaging in a culture of friendliness actually helps to reduce that stress by reminding you what actually matters.

+1. I was raised MC, and learned that being kind and friendly and neighborly made life a little easier. That continues to serve me well. The happiest people I know, regardless of income, seem to live that way, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they have instincts about you that you’d be the type of person to post this sort of silly thing.

+1

"Why are UMC people cold and unfriendly?"

Fixed it for you, OP: "Why do people make gross generalizations as if they're spouting universal truths?"

Not OP, but your level of defensiveness about this is telling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I doubt that if you consort with middle class people, you are familiar with many upper class people. I don’t mean that in a snobby way, it’s just the truth. So I doubt your data pool is significant. Alternatively, if you’re mostly around UC, then I think you can’t really opine on the MC.

First, learn to read. OP is talking about UMC, not UC.

UMC and MC people interact all the time, and the line is fuzzy. Especially in a place like DC with very high COL, where many UMC people send their kids to school, live in gentrifying neighborhoods, etc. My neighborhood in DC has plenty of MC families (feds, school teachers, nurses, etc.) who live in houses bought before the neighborhood gentrified, or in condos. But it also has lots of UMC people (lawyers, doctors, consultants, political people, high level feds) who bought more recently.

We interact daily, and OP’s observation holds. The UMC people are more aloof and less friendly. They smile less. They can be friendly towards each other if they have an established relationship, but they are outwardly cold. MC people are friendlier and more open.

I did read it, and OP stated that she felt both UC and MC people are friendly, but I seriously doubt that she has enough information about one group or the other to make an informed statement. If she is hanging around a lot of MC people, she does not have the same relationship with UC people, and vice versa. People generally stick to their social class. So I think her whole premise is flawed, because she is only having superficial interactions with at least one of these groups, and is therefore unqualified to really opine on the subject in an informed way.

But OP is talking about superficial interactions. When someone says a person was cold and unfriendly, they aren't talking about an interaction with a close friend. OP means that when she encounters UMC (or MC or UC) people out in the world, on a playground or at a cocktail party or on an airplane. All places you might encounter someone of another class, especially if you live in an urban area.

Also, just in general, UC and MC people encounter each other constantly because UC empty a lot of MC people. Some MC might only interact with other MC and UMC people, but no UC people ONLY interact with UC people. They might not think much about the MC people they interact with or consider them peers, but they do interact with them, daily.

Employ, not empty. My autocorrect is out of control.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I doubt that if you consort with middle class people, you are familiar with many upper class people. I don’t mean that in a snobby way, it’s just the truth. So I doubt your data pool is significant. Alternatively, if you’re mostly around UC, then I think you can’t really opine on the MC.

Are you serious? If you live and/or work in the DMV it’s mostly populated with UC/UMC and MC people.

Your neighbor in McLean: most likely UC or UMC
The EVP at your work UC or UMC
Your child’s teacher: MC or UMC
Your esthetician: MC or UMC

In what world is an esti UMC?

She could be married to an UMC professional?

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they have instincts about you that you’d be the type of person to post this sort of silly thing.

+1

"Why are UMC people cold and unfriendly?"

Fixed it for you, OP: "Why do people make gross generalizations as if they're spouting universal truths?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I doubt that if you consort with middle class people, you are familiar with many upper class people. I don’t mean that in a snobby way, it’s just the truth. So I doubt your data pool is significant. Alternatively, if you’re mostly around UC, then I think you can’t really opine on the MC.

Are you serious? If you live and/or work in the DMV it’s mostly populated with UC/UMC and MC people.

Your neighbor in McLean: most likely UC or UMC
The EVP at your work UC or UMC
Your child’s teacher: MC or UMC
Your esthetician: MC or UMC

In what world is an esti UMC?

In a world where they own their own successful business (employ others but may still service some clients, especially the wealthier ones) or where they are married to someone high income but continue to work because they like to or because they are more comfortable having an income.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I doubt that if you consort with middle class people, you are familiar with many upper class people. I don’t mean that in a snobby way, it’s just the truth. So I doubt your data pool is significant. Alternatively, if you’re mostly around UC, then I think you can’t really opine on the MC.

First, learn to read. OP is talking about UMC, not UC.

UMC and MC people interact all the time, and the line is fuzzy. Especially in a place like DC with very high COL, where many UMC people send their kids to school, live in gentrifying neighborhoods, etc. My neighborhood in DC has plenty of MC families (feds, school teachers, nurses, etc.) who live in houses bought before the neighborhood gentrified, or in condos. But it also has lots of UMC people (lawyers, doctors, consultants, political people, high level feds) who bought more recently.

We interact daily, and OP’s observation holds. The UMC people are more aloof and less friendly. They smile less. They can be friendly towards each other if they have an established relationship, but they are outwardly cold. MC people are friendlier and more open.

I did read it, and OP stated that she felt both UC and MC people are friendly, but I seriously doubt that she has enough information about one group or the other to make an informed statement. If she is hanging around a lot of MC people, she does not have the same relationship with UC people, and vice versa. People generally stick to their social class. So I think her whole premise is flawed, because she is only having superficial interactions with at least one of these groups, and is therefore unqualified to really opine on the subject in an informed way.

But OP is talking about superficial interactions. When someone says a person was cold and unfriendly, they aren't talking about an interaction with a close friend. OP means that when she encounters UMC (or MC or UC) people out in the world, on a playground or at a cocktail party or on an airplane. All places you might encounter someone of another class, especially if you live in an urban area.

Also, just in general, UC and MC people encounter each other constantly because UC empty a lot of MC people. Some MC might only interact with other MC and UMC people, but no UC people ONLY interact with UC people. They might not think much about the MC people they interact with or consider them peers, but they do interact with them, daily.