Anonymous
06/13/2023 15:40
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
So glad to see this thread, and hope the OP won't mind my asking questions as well.
A friend with a 6th grader was wondering what to do with her son, who is apparently working at an 11th grade level (no IQ tests or anything, he puts no effort into learning, and is doing well academically). Although he is good at math, he hates it. He essentially gets through his school work quickly so he can read, and will read all day and all night if allowed. What does one do with a kid like that, for enrichment in his area of strength? He has ADHD, and has not stuck with anything else they have tried - musical instruments, chess, various sports, etc.
My experience with a PG child (who is now 30 something) is that everything was too easy, so he never developed a work ethic, and when things got a little difficult, he didn't know what to do. He also didn't have any areas that interested him, so after attempting college for many years, dropped out. Last I heard, he was living with a roommate in the mid-west somewhere, and was working at a Dunkin.
A friend with a 6th grader was wondering what to do with her son, who is apparently working at an 11th grade level (no IQ tests or anything, he puts no effort into learning, and is doing well academically). Although he is good at math, he hates it. He essentially gets through his school work quickly so he can read, and will read all day and all night if allowed. What does one do with a kid like that, for enrichment in his area of strength? He has ADHD, and has not stuck with anything else they have tried - musical instruments, chess, various sports, etc.
My experience with a PG child (who is now 30 something) is that everything was too easy, so he never developed a work ethic, and when things got a little difficult, he didn't know what to do. He also didn't have any areas that interested him, so after attempting college for many years, dropped out. Last I heard, he was living with a roommate in the mid-west somewhere, and was working at a Dunkin.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 15:25
Subject: Re:If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
NP. OP it is a reasonable question and you have to avoid the nasty answers. Your question is important because not all kids with high IQ do well. My BIL, now almost 60, was identified with a similar IQ as a child. It is, to this day, his entire identity. He still talks about test scores he got in high school. Meanwhile he took several years to graduate college, barely passing in the end, and has been unemployed for years and will probably never work again (lives off elderly parents). He has never been able to keep a job for long; he has been fired from every one. His dysfunction is profound and deep, as is his anger and rage at his outcome in life.
Obviously that’s a horror story, but I think that what went on with him is that the high IQ blocked assessment of other issues. He became his IQ in other words, while serious executive functioning deficits weren’t assessed. I think that with a high IQ kid, ensuring the development of executive function is critical because they can often, as children, get away without it.
Obviously that’s a horror story, but I think that what went on with him is that the high IQ blocked assessment of other issues. He became his IQ in other words, while serious executive functioning deficits weren’t assessed. I think that with a high IQ kid, ensuring the development of executive function is critical because they can often, as children, get away without it.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 15:14
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
I would be worried about an ASD.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 15:07
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
So what does he do exactly that you feel he is extraordinarily/profoundly gifted? Other than test score.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 15:02
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have you noticed anything interesting about your kid in the 10-14 years you have known the kids before the IQ test score came back?
Life matters a lot more than a quiz.
This. I'd understand the question more if your kid was 6, but he is in middle school. You already know your kid. My kid with a 147 IQ struggled as a young child with social stuff and relating to other kids, but now he is a pretty normal (though obviously very smart) middle schooler. He is prone to anxiety but currently that is under control, but, again, you'd already know this about your kid.
Agree. My PG son is easygoing and socially fine, so we basically have been on autopilot on academics with him -- we don't monitor homework or academic performance in any way whatsoever. We did recently identify some EF deficits, and as part of that learned that many other kids in his "smart kid" cohort at school have been tutored/supplementing all along, while our child has been coasting along unassisted with all As and great test scores. I am not sure which is the "right" way to do things with a PG child, or if it ultimately matters, but many academically gifted kids are being challenged outside of school and building "resumes" (math competition, awards, etc.). So, consider whether your child could use additional challenge or supplementation, or would enjoy that sort of thing. We also discovered the Davidson Scholar program, and have had access to some nice resources through that.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 14:45
Subject: Re:If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
I have a profoundly gifted 12 yr old, who also has extremely high social skills, and is well-liked by both peers and adults. He is very confident but also has a deep level of empathy. I once had a friend of a friend who is a gifted specialist tell me to put him in a sport or activity that is new to him/will be a challenge. Learning that you have to work hard to get better at some things is so important to learn young. We found that activity to be swimming. While he generally is above average as an athlete, he's not nearly as fast as his peers who have been swimming much longer. And we have neglected to give him lessons at a young age, so he's having to work harder to keep up. It has been a wake-up call for him to not be the best at something and not have something come so easily as all else usually does.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 14:22
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Is his IQ profile pretty evenly distributed, or is he significantly higher in one area? Is his achievement level consistent with the IQ level? Does he seem socially well adjusted?
If his profile is uneven, then the easiest thing would be to keep him in a regular school, but supplement in the area of strength.
If he has a more even profile, I'd try to figure out why he doesn't seem to think he's bored. Is he just a very easygoing kid? Is he bored, but doesn't realize that school could be much more engaging and much faster paced? Is he happy to finish his work quickly, and then pursue one of his own interests?
If his achievement level is at best that of a normal smart kid, I'd look into additional evaluations. Very high IQ can mask LDs.
If he's struggling socially, keeping him in a normal school among normal kids will not help. He'll continue to feel like he doesn't fit in.
If he's sailing through school with no effort, then you need to make sure he's developing study skills and resilience from some activity. Having no study skills and expecting everything to be easy will eventually catch up with him and cause problems.
Boredom would not be typical in a profoundly gifted kid with an even profile, in my experience. The ones I have known are generally interested in what is going on around them—often in structural/systemic ways that other people are not—vs. waiting for an outside force to serve up something challenging enough in particular areas.
Very much agree with you about learning skills.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 14:13
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:what did you do differently?
My middle schooler's IQ was just tested, and came back on the border between these two categories, according to the Hoagie's website. Apparently his score puts him in the top 0.03%. I guess I'm trying to figure out if this is information I need to do something with, or if I can just take these results and stick them in a drawer somewhere.
I think the problem is that a kid with an IQ of about 150 to 165 will be an ordinary bright Top 30 university student, not all that amazingly bright by the standards of a selective university.
You have to figure out how to get your son into tough enough courses that, by the time he’s at college, he’ll know how to study and how to get help if he finds something confusing.
If he sails through K-12, that means he’ll end up in college with a weaker education than many other equally bright, better-educated students, and he may not have any idea of what to do in a class that’s hard.
This is an absurd statement. There are roughly 20 million people of college age in the U.S. 0.03 percent of that is 6000-- in the entire country, spread among all colleges. That would put an average of 200 kids of that intelligence at each of the top 30 colleges, or 50 per entering class. Hardly "ordinary"
Huh. Smart kids tend to congregate at smart schools. They are not evenly distributed.
Most kids at top ivies have IQs in the range that OP describes. Her son will almost certainly be average in college. If he’s lucky.
Well, you clearly are not gifted yourself based on your lack of reading comprehension skills. That PP said top 30 schools.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 14:09
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Have you noticed anything interesting about your kid in the 10-14 years you have known the kids before the IQ test score came back?
Life matters a lot more than a quiz.
This. I'd understand the question more if your kid was 6, but he is in middle school. You already know your kid. My kid with a 147 IQ struggled as a young child with social stuff and relating to other kids, but now he is a pretty normal (though obviously very smart) middle schooler. He is prone to anxiety but currently that is under control, but, again, you'd already know this about your kid.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 12:29
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
If he is interested in math, encourage taking part in math competitions. Not Mathcounts as much as the AMC-10/12/AIME/USA(J)MO series. They get progressively harder so that even the 0.1% kids find them challenging. They are quite different from what is taught in school and require creativity, insight and hard work to succeed. And the contest community is full of similar kids (at least the ones who take it seriously and do well). If contests aren't your DS' cup of tea, then there are summer camps like Euclid, Mathly, PROMYS, PRIMES which delve into research math that is a whole other level.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 12:24
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Is his IQ profile pretty evenly distributed, or is he significantly higher in one area? Is his achievement level consistent with the IQ level? Does he seem socially well adjusted?
If his profile is uneven, then the easiest thing would be to keep him in a regular school, but supplement in the area of strength.
If he has a more even profile, I'd try to figure out why he doesn't seem to think he's bored. Is he just a very easygoing kid? Is he bored, but doesn't realize that school could be much more engaging and much faster paced? Is he happy to finish his work quickly, and then pursue one of his own interests?
If his achievement level is at best that of a normal smart kid, I'd look into additional evaluations. Very high IQ can mask LDs.
If he's struggling socially, keeping him in a normal school among normal kids will not help. He'll continue to feel like he doesn't fit in.
If he's sailing through school with no effort, then you need to make sure he's developing study skills and resilience from some activity. Having no study skills and expecting everything to be easy will eventually catch up with him and cause problems.
If his profile is uneven, then the easiest thing would be to keep him in a regular school, but supplement in the area of strength.
If he has a more even profile, I'd try to figure out why he doesn't seem to think he's bored. Is he just a very easygoing kid? Is he bored, but doesn't realize that school could be much more engaging and much faster paced? Is he happy to finish his work quickly, and then pursue one of his own interests?
If his achievement level is at best that of a normal smart kid, I'd look into additional evaluations. Very high IQ can mask LDs.
If he's struggling socially, keeping him in a normal school among normal kids will not help. He'll continue to feel like he doesn't fit in.
If he's sailing through school with no effort, then you need to make sure he's developing study skills and resilience from some activity. Having no study skills and expecting everything to be easy will eventually catch up with him and cause problems.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 11:59
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:what did you do differently?
My middle schooler's IQ was just tested, and came back on the border between these two categories, according to the Hoagie's website. Apparently his score puts him in the top 0.03%. I guess I'm trying to figure out if this is information I need to do something with, or if I can just take these results and stick them in a drawer somewhere.
My kid has incredibly high IQ and ADHD. The tester’s suggestion was to indulge his interests/passions but not really do much differently.
Why was your child tested? My two were tested because of learning disabilities.
I'm not sure if you're asking me (OP) or the PP. I have a friend who is a neuropsychologist and she was looking for someone for a new staff member to practice on. I had mentioned that I was curious about how he'd do so she offered. I didn't come in with concerns, and they didn't find anything problematic. Just lots of high scores.
I knew it would be higher than average going in. That's why I was curious. He's good at school. He's a very busy kid who is always doing something. But I had heard that profoundly gifted kids always struggle, and they need radically different things than their same age peers, and they are so much harder to parent than "typical" kids and since none of those things seem to apply to him, I sort of assumed he'd come in at the bottom of the gifted range.
But now, I'm worried that maybe he does need something different and I'm doing him a disservice?
I think you are overthinking all of this. Your kid is smart but not unduly so. Just let him be.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 11:56
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:what did you do differently?
My middle schooler's IQ was just tested, and came back on the border between these two categories, according to the Hoagie's website. Apparently his score puts him in the top 0.03%. I guess I'm trying to figure out if this is information I need to do something with, or if I can just take these results and stick them in a drawer somewhere.
I think the problem is that a kid with an IQ of about 150 to 165 will be an ordinary bright Top 30 university student, not all that amazingly bright by the standards of a selective university.
You have to figure out how to get your son into tough enough courses that, by the time he’s at college, he’ll know how to study and how to get help if he finds something confusing.
If he sails through K-12, that means he’ll end up in college with a weaker education than many other equally bright, better-educated students, and he may not have any idea of what to do in a class that’s hard.
This is an absurd statement. There are roughly 20 million people of college age in the U.S. 0.03 percent of that is 6000-- in the entire country, spread among all colleges. That would put an average of 200 kids of that intelligence at each of the top 30 colleges, or 50 per entering class. Hardly "ordinary"
Huh. Smart kids tend to congregate at smart schools. They are not evenly distributed.
Most kids at top ivies have IQs in the range that OP describes. Her son will almost certainly be average in college. If he’s lucky.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 11:53
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My IQ is 150+. I was in the gifted program in school, didnt do very well in school and went to GMU and then another local school for grad school. I cared a lot more about my social life than school. Have a good career now but Im not a rocket scientist or brain surgeon. I can do work more quickly than others and catch onto things easier than others, but otherwise, Im prob not the poster child for High IQ kids.
OP here,
Are you happy?
I don’t need some specific outcome other than happy.
Yeah, I have a good life. I wasnt so happy in high school/college and it took me a while to find myself. But all is good now.
Anonymous
06/13/2023 11:44
Subject: If you have an extraordinarily or profoundly gifted kid . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:That level of gifted needs to not be attending regular school. Way too boring for him. Most privates would be inappropriate too.
OP here,
He's in private but not one of the top privates, or one that people talk about as being particularly good for gifted kids. He followed an older sibling, because two different drop offs and pick ups seemed like it would be a pain.
He likes school, and never says "I was bored" about school, but he comes home from school with lots of pictures he's drawn and no homework and tells me "Oh we had free time in X class if we finished our work, so I did my homework there".
OP if it does turn out that he has ADHD or Executive functioning issues,, looks into Commonwealth Academy.. It was life-changing for my gifted/ADHD kid.