Anonymous
06/02/2023 15:01
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
Anonymous wrote:Tell us about it. Make me feel better.
My worst bosses were both men. In college, the professor who propositions me (I was a work study student in his dept), and I was told to stay away from him. Right, because my mere existence caused him to be a pig
2nd was still in my 20s. I was so excited to work at an agency I had written papers about in school and studied about - it was my dream job. In-between being hired, and actually starting (govt agency - paperwork, etc, this was decades ago, pre-internet), the guy who hired me changed agencies and I was left with a micro-managing, slight man, with an extreme Napolean complex. It was awful. I went home and cried every day. Finally, a good friend and mentor asked what I was doing to find another job (causing me to cry - this was my dream job). I changed departments, and eventually got up the nerve to ask my new, amazing boss (also a man), what the old boss had said about me. He told me he didn't care what that tiny man said, he went to another, very well respected person in the dept who gave me rave reviews.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 13:20
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
Anonymous wrote:Most terrible bosses are women.
This isn't true in my experience. But I work in a mostly male industry that seems to attract narcissists, so I have lots of experience with dysfunctional male bosses.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 13:17
Subject: Re:Worst boss you ever had.....
I had a boss who everyone in the office was afraid of. When I started, I was warned not to approach him on Monday mornings because he would be in a bad mood. Then the list of when not to have contact with him quickly expanded: Friday afternoons, mornings in general before 10 am, after 4 pm any day, right before lunch. I was late once, and he yelled and threw things. He was also quite stingy. We would have lunch meetings and he would order food for us, and we would get maybe 1/2 a sandwich each and that was it. Once we carpooled (a group of us) to an off-site meeting, and he hit a parked car in a parking lot while backing out and he just drove off without leaving a note, despite having a car full of witnesses. I quit after a few months because he was so awful.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 13:02
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most terrible bosses are women.
Yup.
Nope
Sorry but I have to agree - as a woman. I believe it’s because these women feel like they have to function using a male approach/style but it comes across as controlling and angry. I have seen this many times. The fact is that the modern workplace was designed for a male workforce and we just haven’t progressed in terms of valuing female leadership styles - despite the volumes of data showing that women are more effective and efficient in leadership roles than men.
This, and I've observed that women without kids are particularly harsh as supervisors of working moms. Like if a female subordinate is perceived as too devoted to their family, that's ruining it for all the #girlboss types.
There's a real "I suffered [sexism/misogyny] and you must suffer, too, to prove yourself" mentality particularly among Boomer or elder Gen X women. E.g. looking down on women for wanting to take longer maternity leaves because when they (the bosses) were coming up, they only got a few weeks.
That being said I have also had phenomenal female bosses, some of that generation.
And I'm both a mom and an ambitious hustler, fwiw. At no point in my career did I want to "scale back" or any such thing. But this is a thing. The most mom-friendly bosses I've had were men with kids whose wives had a career.
You don’t think making assumptions about your bosses is the same thing they did to you! It is.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 11:27
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
Severe micromanager.
We had a 'stand up' meeting every morning where we had to list all of our daily tasks and goals. We had to submit this list to her before each meeting and the next morning she'd check off what we accomplished. Effin unreal.
She liked to be cc'd on every email we sent to be kept in the loop.
She would email and then send a chat message about sending the email. If you still took too long to respond to either, she'd swing by your desk to see if you'd received either.
We had to send all projects to her before submission so she could approve them, but approving them meant editing them to her liking. Except she was terrible at grammar and was also dyslexic, so she'd make "corrections" and "improvements" that made the results worse and then do a final submission to the client without letting anyone else see HER work. This is what ultimately got her canned, thankyoujesus.
We had a 'stand up' meeting every morning where we had to list all of our daily tasks and goals. We had to submit this list to her before each meeting and the next morning she'd check off what we accomplished. Effin unreal.
She liked to be cc'd on every email we sent to be kept in the loop.
She would email and then send a chat message about sending the email. If you still took too long to respond to either, she'd swing by your desk to see if you'd received either.
We had to send all projects to her before submission so she could approve them, but approving them meant editing them to her liking. Except she was terrible at grammar and was also dyslexic, so she'd make "corrections" and "improvements" that made the results worse and then do a final submission to the client without letting anyone else see HER work. This is what ultimately got her canned, thankyoujesus.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 11:26
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most terrible bosses are women.
Yup.
Nope
Sorry but I have to agree - as a woman. I believe it’s because these women feel like they have to function using a male approach/style but it comes across as controlling and angry. I have seen this many times. The fact is that the modern workplace was designed for a male workforce and we just haven’t progressed in terms of valuing female leadership styles - despite the volumes of data showing that women are more effective and efficient in leadership roles than men.
This, and I've observed that women without kids are particularly harsh as supervisors of working moms. Like if a female subordinate is perceived as too devoted to their family, that's ruining it for all the #girlboss types.
There's a real "I suffered [sexism/misogyny] and you must suffer, too, to prove yourself" mentality particularly among Boomer or elder Gen X women. E.g. looking down on women for wanting to take longer maternity leaves because when they (the bosses) were coming up, they only got a few weeks.
That being said I have also had phenomenal female bosses, some of that generation.
And I'm both a mom and an ambitious hustler, fwiw. At no point in my career did I want to "scale back" or any such thing. But this is a thing. The most mom-friendly bosses I've had were men with kids whose wives had a career.
I agree, my boss is retiring and for a boss he was as good as it gets--he has a wife in the same field but different bend that makes probably double and they have kids....now Im getting someone who i despise--and I dread it..I dont know how i will survive...
Anonymous
06/02/2023 11:20
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most terrible bosses are women.
Yup.
Nope
Sorry but I have to agree - as a woman. I believe it’s because these women feel like they have to function using a male approach/style but it comes across as controlling and angry. I have seen this many times. The fact is that the modern workplace was designed for a male workforce and we just haven’t progressed in terms of valuing female leadership styles - despite the volumes of data showing that women are more effective and efficient in leadership roles than men.
This, and I've observed that women without kids are particularly harsh as supervisors of working moms. Like if a female subordinate is perceived as too devoted to their family, that's ruining it for all the #girlboss types.
There's a real "I suffered [sexism/misogyny] and you must suffer, too, to prove yourself" mentality particularly among Boomer or elder Gen X women. E.g. looking down on women for wanting to take longer maternity leaves because when they (the bosses) were coming up, they only got a few weeks.
That being said I have also had phenomenal female bosses, some of that generation.
And I'm both a mom and an ambitious hustler, fwiw. At no point in my career did I want to "scale back" or any such thing. But this is a thing. The most mom-friendly bosses I've had were men with kids whose wives had a career.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 11:14
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most terrible bosses are women.
Yup.
Nope
Sorry but I have to agree - as a woman. I believe it’s because these women feel like they have to function using a male approach/style but it comes across as controlling and angry. I have seen this many times. The fact is that the modern workplace was designed for a male workforce and we just haven’t progressed in terms of valuing female leadership styles - despite the volumes of data showing that women are more effective and efficient in leadership roles than men.
It’s sexist and unproductive to tie leadership ability to gender. You should consider your own bias when you make such broad statements about half the population and then back it up as being the result of a sexist society. That’s just trying to play both sides.
I have had many bosses of different genders and it’s really more about empathy and decision making ability. I am a woman in IT and I have been for over 20 years. The assertion that either gender makes a better boss is nearly totally based on personal bias and experience.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 11:04
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most terrible bosses are women.
Yup.
Nope
Sorry but I have to agree - as a woman. I believe it’s because these women feel like they have to function using a male approach/style but it comes across as controlling and angry. I have seen this many times. The fact is that the modern workplace was designed for a male workforce and we just haven’t progressed in terms of valuing female leadership styles - despite the volumes of data showing that women are more effective and efficient in leadership roles than men.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 11:01
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
I worked for a small, family-owned startup (10/10 do not recommend) and essentially was EA to the CEO and his wife who, despite her executive title, was incredibly disorganized and confused much of the time (again, despite my ongoing briefings, project reviews etc).
Husband and I were very much on the same page in terms of approach, attitude etc, and the wife got jealous. I was pushed out of my administrative job into a retail role under the guise of being handed a “promotion” (for 2k more a year lol). There was a ton of drama because I hadn’t been properly credentialed to effectively perform my job, and *I* got into trouble for it. I was fired. And they’d hired their NIECE to do the job I had been doing previously.
It was so chaotic and draining, it turned me off to small workplaces and family-owned businesses FOREVER.
Husband and I were very much on the same page in terms of approach, attitude etc, and the wife got jealous. I was pushed out of my administrative job into a retail role under the guise of being handed a “promotion” (for 2k more a year lol). There was a ton of drama because I hadn’t been properly credentialed to effectively perform my job, and *I* got into trouble for it. I was fired. And they’d hired their NIECE to do the job I had been doing previously.
It was so chaotic and draining, it turned me off to small workplaces and family-owned businesses FOREVER.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 10:53
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most terrible bosses are women.
Yup.
Nope
Anonymous
06/02/2023 10:29
Subject: Re:Worst boss you ever had.....
My worst boss was a manager at a restaurant where I was a server in high school. He regularly copped a feel. I once was removed from a profitable shift because I "talked too long" to a Black customer.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 10:25
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Mine was also as a nanny.
The dad was interviewing for some huge job and he went outside to leave and his car wouldn't start. This was pre-uber days so I offered him my 20 year old car that I kept in really clean, well maintained condition (and drove his baby around every day in). Instead of saying thank you, on the way out of the house he looked right at me and said "I can't believe I'm showing up to this interview in a suit that costs more than the car I'm driving".
They were first time parents and I stayed late one night so they could have their first date night since the baby was born. When they came home, the mom walked in first and started PROJECTILE vomiting red wine all over the house- floor, walls, entry table, an entire trail to the bathroom. Literally was like a scene from the exorcist.
I had worked for them for 11 months and hadn't taken a single day off. My regular commute was 40 mins each way. We were expecting a huge blizzard so I got up over two hours early and hit the road 1 hr 45 min before my start time. The storm got really bad about 30 mins into my drive. My driver's side windshield wiper flew off and was gone so I literally couldn't see anything. I called the mom and told her I was essentially stuck- it was already white out conditions and now I had zero visibility so I couldn't really continue on to work nor drive home, Her response was "So what do you expect us to do with the baby today?".
After 3 years with them, I got pregnant with my first which was a girl. They had two girls at that point. Over the years, I had chosen, ordered, laundered, and packed away all their girls' clothes. I packed them for trips. Always ensured they had a seasonally appropriate wardrobe in the correct sizes, the right clothes for camp, school, vacation, etc. They were done having kids one day when I was 30+ weeks pregnant and HUGE, I was leaving and the mom goes "Can you grab all the bins of girls clothes from the attic, load them in your car, and drop them at goodwill on your way home?" Didn't offer me a single thing.
Okay so the dad thing is awful and he should not have said that (or even thought it). And the blizzard thing, also not okay. But the other two I kind of empathize with. I remember our first date night which was wayyyy overdue when we had a 1-year-old -- it's easy to over-indulge (temporarily) when you feel like you are FINALLY free to have adult time. Obviously very gross that she barfed everywhere but I wouldn't view that as some moral failing, unless it was like, a regular thing. And the pregnancy clothes thing...I often decide not to give hand-me-downs because I know (from experience) that it is awkward to turn them down and, sometimes, like in a nanny situation, I worry that the recipient will be offended and think I assume they are poor or something.
I mean I was poor. They paid me $12hr pretax, $18hr over time (50 hours per week).
I actually have a successful business now and ran into the dad a couple months ago at a networking event- the surprise on his face was priceless
I hope they didn't expect you to clean up the barf, at least! But yeah, that one seems pretty human and relatable actually - the rest, oy. Did you keep the clothes instead of giving them to Goodwill?
Glad you came out on top.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 10:20
Subject: Worst boss you ever had.....
Anonymous wrote:Most terrible bosses are women.
Not in my experience. Equal opportunity awful.
My best two bosses were women. Worst were a man and a woman.
Anonymous
06/02/2023 10:17
Subject: Re:Worst boss you ever had.....
Anonymous wrote:I got fired from two part-time jobs between age 17-20 (both were the same type of service industry establishment). At both, I’d mentioned at some point that I was majoring in XYZ in college. At the time of the firings, both bosses nastily said some variation of “I don’t know you manage to major in XYZ when you can’t even complete tasks properly here.”
My worst boss was a nasty chief of staff in Congress, who once told me he couldn't believe I was a lawyer because lawyers are smart.
He specialized in making all the female staffers cry, a few times a week. I could kick myself for having stayed as long as I did - I ended up up walking out and never coming back after 11 months, when I got screamed at for having said "you're welcome" to a constituent who was happy with something we'd done for them. The CoS - and the big boss - both thought that meant I was taking credit. The big boss used to scream about how it was his name on the plaque outside the door, not ours. We were all trying so hard, and this is how they treated us.
Horrible, horrible people. They're still there - and I'd imagine still terrorizing staff.