Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 21:33     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The depressing part is being married and a woman with a kid in a HCOL area.

The marriage, the life, the kid are all great. It's the pressures around it all that suck.


If you feel this way now, stick to one and done. I did and the financial freedom is liberating.


And the freedom that comes from more free time with one
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 21:31     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course it was. We begin to become aware that we are growing old. We understand that our commitment has closed, is closing, and will close other doors to adventure. We stop pretending that we can have everything everywhere all at once. We are still completely in thrall to Our Expectations regarding our lived professional, social, and economic reality. I believe that 35 is a miserable age for many people, regardless of marital status.


40s are worse, that’s the bottom of the happiness curve
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 11:07     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Completely happy and this is where I wanted to be at 35 (well I'm 36)- fantastic husband, nice house, 3 wonderful kids. It's chaotic, stressful, loving, fun. It's just a LOT of everything, but I know I'll miss these chaotic years when I'm older.

I will say that my marriage is one of the things I'm most proud of/happy with/grateful for. I just lucked out with DH. When my kids ask who is my favorite kids, I tell them DH is!


You tell them DH is your favorite kid?


She’s probably a mail order bride still didn’t learn English


I'm the PP who asked the above question, but that follow up comment was really unkind. Women don't need that crap from other women. Do better.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 08:32     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
Anonymous wrote:
Completely happy and this is where I wanted to be at 35 (well I'm 36)- fantastic husband, nice house, 3 wonderful kids. It's chaotic, stressful, loving, fun. It's just a LOT of everything, but I know I'll miss these chaotic years when I'm older.

I will say that my marriage is one of the things I'm most proud of/happy with/grateful for. I just lucked out with DH. When my kids ask who is my favorite kids, I tell them DH is!


You tell them DH is your favorite kid?


She’s probably a mail order bride still didn’t learn English
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 08:17     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
Completely happy and this is where I wanted to be at 35 (well I'm 36)- fantastic husband, nice house, 3 wonderful kids. It's chaotic, stressful, loving, fun. It's just a LOT of everything, but I know I'll miss these chaotic years when I'm older.

I will say that my marriage is one of the things I'm most proud of/happy with/grateful for. I just lucked out with DH. When my kids ask who is my favorite kids, I tell them DH is!


You tell them DH is your favorite kid?
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 08:00     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
35 was my sweet spot! My kids were 7 and 4 and in a great phase of life, and I still had my looks. Now they are teen/tweens and I’m 43 and the looks have faded quite a bit! Marriage is good.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 07:15     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
Anonymous wrote:Completely happy and this is where I wanted to be at 35 (well I'm 36)- fantastic husband, nice house, 3 wonderful kids. It's chaotic, stressful, loving, fun. It's just a LOT of everything, but I know I'll miss these chaotic years when I'm older.

I will say that my marriage is one of the things I'm most proud of/happy with/grateful for. I just lucked out with DH. When my kids ask who is my favorite kids, I tell them DH is!


wow! so nice
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2023 06:47     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
Anonymous wrote:The depressing part is being married and a woman with a kid in a HCOL area.

The marriage, the life, the kid are all great. It's the pressures around it all that suck.


If you feel this way now, stick to one and done. I did and the financial freedom is liberating.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2023 23:30     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
What made you so bitter OP?
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2023 21:55     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
At 35, we were having baby #3 and just starting to make a bit more income. Things were looking up. 9 years later, baby years are far behind us, we’ve got financial stability, and we’re quite a happy family. Wouldn’t trade it for the world
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2023 21:47     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
The depressing part is being married and a woman with a kid in a HCOL area.

The marriage, the life, the kid are all great. It's the pressures around it all that suck.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2023 21:42     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
I was pretty happy at 35, 36 is when cracks started appearing, at 38 crap hit the fan.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2023 21:32     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
I was happy at 35. I’m now 45 and married and yes it’s depressing. I can’t imagine getting divorced but also can’t imagine spending the rest my life with this man.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2023 21:16     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
No, but at 42 it went to sh*t.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2023 20:47     Subject: If you are 35 and married, is it depressing?
Anonymous wrote:Nope, love my life and wouldn’t trade it for living alone. My QoL increased enormously after finding my person and starting a life together!


Ditto. I was quite unfulfilled before I got married. I was actually depressed during my early 20s. Lucky to have met DH. Who knows where I would be otherwise.

And yet, I disagree with the poster who says you have to put your marriage first. DH and I are bonded not just because of the travel and fun we had before kids, but because we are each pulling our weight towards our shared goal of raising our children. It’s okay if we go a few months without date nights or vacations, we can connect for 30 min after they go to bed.