Anonymous wrote:I'm always offering my grown kids food during their visits. I love spoiling them like old times. If I'll have health and money, probably will spoil their spouses and grandkids as well.

WHILE you're working?

OP, if you're posting here, it bothers you. Since it bothers you, make a change.

The worse thing is: feel resentment --> vent/complain --> do nothing about it.

OMG are you kidding me? I have lived with my stepkids since they were in junior high and they have been getting breakfast and usually lunch for themselves since then. We do cook a big dinner.

Anonymous wrote:DP here. I don't think most people know how to cook food from scratch in this country. They certainly do not know how to make healthy, fresh and nutritious food.

Most people are half a$$ing some kind of semi-homemade meals for themselves like the Duggar family's tater tot casserole.

Household chores are part of adulting skills and need to be taught to children. Teach your kids how to plan balanced and healthy meals, estimate amounts of ingredients, shop, prep, cook, serve and store. Teach them also how to cook for themselves, cook as part of daily chores and cook to host people.

What a weird thing to say. Of course people in this country typically know how to make food from scratch. They just don’t want to.

DP here. I don't think most people know how to cook food from scratch in this country. They certainly do not know how to make healthy, fresh and nutritious food.

Most people are half a$$ing some kind of semi-homemade meals for themselves like the Duggar family's tater tot casserole.

Household chores are part of adulting skills and need to be taught to children. Teach your kids how to plan balanced and healthy meals, estimate amounts of ingredients, shop, prep, cook, serve and store. Teach them also how to cook for themselves, cook as part of daily chores and cook to host people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are they “home” and not working? They should have internships or summer jobs, every summer, during college. No excuses.

Have you and your spouse taught them to cook? Yes or no. If not, this is the summer you teach them the basics.

Not OP but my kid starts a 3-month internship on 6/6. Has been home for nearly a month since finals ended.

OK? So surely he has been cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and generally contributing to the household as a fully-formed adult in that time, yes?

You did read and understand the part that says “Not the OP,” yes?

Oh, no, you didn’t

I don’t cook for my college kid. DC is welcome to eat anything I’ve already made and I will pick up specific grocery items when shopping if asked. Beyond that the kid handles their own meals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are they “home” and not working? They should have internships or summer jobs, every summer, during college. No excuses.

Have you and your spouse taught them to cook? Yes or no. If not, this is the summer you teach them the basics.

Not OP but my kid starts a 3-month internship on 6/6. Has been home for nearly a month since finals ended.

OK? So surely he has been cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and generally contributing to the household as a fully-formed adult in that time, yes?

Put them each in charge of dinner twice a week. Everyone rotates dinner duty. Lunches are leftovers.

My 10 and 13 year olds make their own lunches. Sometimes I need to help get stuff out of the cabinet for the 10yo because she’s short, but other than that they’re pretty much on their own.

NTA. Your kids need to learn to make a damn sandwich

Your kid can do this. I have the laziest dd ever. Even she knows not to ask or expect meals. She eats a protein bar, heats up frozen food from Trader Joe’s, or cuts up fruit, makes cereal…. It’s honestly up to you to say no, and stick with it.

They somehow fend for themselves when they are away at school. I don't think the kid is asking for you to make him food because he doesn't know how to feed himself, I think he just likes the way his mom prepares his favorite dishes and snacks.

I don't mind cooking for my college son when he comes home. Before we know it he'll be a college grad, working full time and living in his own place. I'm going to enjoy this summer with him at home. He has a summer job but he goes in later in the day so he also sleeps in. It is very common with this age group. They work and hang out with friends during the summer.

Anonymous wrote:Very seriously, start asking kid to cook. Flip the script. “No DC can you please put together some soup and sandwiches for everyone? I’m tied up at work. Thanks!”

This!!

Anonymous wrote:Why are they “home” and not working? They should have internships or summer jobs, every summer, during college. No excuses.

Have you and your spouse taught them to cook? Yes or no. If not, this is the summer you teach them the basics.

Not OP but my kid starts a 3-month internship on 6/6. Has been home for nearly a month since finals ended.