Anonymous
Post 05/22/2023 07:50     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
I typically say, “I can’t drink.” That tends to shut people up.

When people are being jerky about it, I’ve trotted out this line: “I stopped drinking wine after watching my mother die from breast cancer. Horrific! Have you seen the reams of data linking wine to breast cancer? I can’t believe anyone still drinks that poison.”

Anonymous
Post 05/22/2023 07:37     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
I'm similar to you and I just say "I don't drink anymore" and people just stop. Maybe my circle is easier? Also, I've drank with most of them. My reason is for health issues, but I'm sure they assume it's for fitness reasons because I'm one of those people who track everything (calories, sleep, macros, micros, heart rate oxygen saturation, every work out, steps and a million other things).
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2023 07:35     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
I used to drink way too much, now I dont drink at all. Echoing what PPs said, the people who question my decision not to drink are those who rely on alcohol in an unhealthy manner. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2023 07:28     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
Anonymous wrote:Yeah. Alcohol as the star of an event stopped being fun after college. Lately we’ve been skipping events that we know will be fueled with alcohol. Even DC’s end of year party for his sports team will be full of party moms. They drink together before games. No thanks.


That’s just gross. Drinking before kids sports games? Clearly there’s a problem.
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2023 07:04     Subject: Re:PSA in social situations with alcohol...
When you quit drinking, it can feel alarming how much alcohol everyone around you is still drinking and how everyone takes it for granted that you will join in. It would be great if the sober-curious culture were to gain momentum and shift the collective mindset a little. Asking someone you don’t know why they’re not drinking is like asking a woman in her 30s why she doesn’t have kids yet. Just don’t.
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2023 06:00     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
Anonymous wrote:If someone is not drinking alcohol at a party or function it's really ok, and even preferable, to not comment on, or make a big deal out of it. There are a lot of reasons why someone might not be drinking. And if you've just met the person then it's totally fine to just not comment.

I was at an event/special occasion yesterday where lots of drinking was involved. I stopped drinking about 8 months ago after struggling with alcohol for years. Not many people know this because I was able to hold it together publicly/work wise, and of course I didn't share how much i was drinking in private. I was meeting most of the people at this event for the first time as it was for someone we all know for different reasons. I'm not particularly interested in sharing the whole story with them.

Anyway, my NA drinks were commented on by a couple people and by one person who was very invested in getting me to drink something alcoholic. Like I had to publicly refuse them numerous times. One of the other people there even joked that I was a recovering alcoholic as a deflection. I had never met that person, so it's not like they had any idea.

Late in to the evening I finally blurted out, "I don't drink" after have yet another alcoholic beverage foisted on me. At that point I was sitting next to a woman who doesn't know me hugely well, but certainly knows that I used to drink as I drank a whole lot during a dinner at her house once.

I'm thankful that I'm at the point where I was comfortable to continue to refuse. But just want to put this out there - please don't do this to people. Thanks.

Anyway,


Congrats on your choice & good PSA
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2023 03:31     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When the person jokingly deflected and said you’re a recovering alcoholic, I would have loved to have seen their face had you said, “As a matter of fact, that’s exactly it. Is that a problem?”



I know, right? For various reasons, I'm not really at that point, but it was an interesting moment!


She probably thought you were pregnant. It’s the only reason I can imagine someone joking about being an alcoholic - if they feel fairly sure that it’s another reason.


She thought OP was pregnant at 50/close to 50? I don’t think so. Just rude.
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2023 01:21     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When the person jokingly deflected and said you’re a recovering alcoholic, I would have loved to have seen their face had you said, “As a matter of fact, that’s exactly it. Is that a problem?”



I know, right? For various reasons, I'm not really at that point, but it was an interesting moment!


She probably thought you were pregnant. It’s the only reason I can imagine someone joking about being an alcoholic - if they feel fairly sure that it’s another reason.
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2023 00:08     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
Good PSA and reminder!!
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2023 23:51     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
OP - just have a backbone. Don't play the victim.

If you don't drink, you don't drink. end of story.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2023 23:45     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
Anonymous wrote:Can you avoid such parties in the future?

It sucks that there were so many crappy people at one event.


Not to dog on you because I don't think you meant it this way, but no, I can't avoid every wedding, graduation, retirement party, birthday, funeral, bridal shower, and every other event under the sun where there is alcohol. It's on me to manage that so I don't relapse and I accept that. I just ask that other people accept that I'm not going to drink alcohol at the event.

And while I also know that the advice to give an excuse is given in good faith, I honestly don't want to make up a medical condition on the spot or say that I am driving as an excuse. I just don't want it to be an issue at all. Go home and gossip about me if you must!
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2023 23:40     Subject: Re:PSA in social situations with alcohol...
I don’t always drink for various reasons and I don’t find it to be a big deal.

Some people can have a drink and drive, but I barely like driving sober so I certainly won’t even have a sip if I am driving.

When you’re with people more - they know your deal. My friends get it on the driving for me, for example.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2023 23:37     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
Anonymous wrote:When the person jokingly deflected and said you’re a recovering alcoholic, I would have loved to have seen their face had you said, “As a matter of fact, that’s exactly it. Is that a problem?”



I know, right? For various reasons, I'm not really at that point, but it was an interesting moment!
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2023 23:04     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
OP, I've never been a drinker. My friends and family know this about me, and always make sure there's ice water. For people who don't know me well, I just flat out say "Oh, I don't drink" and the majority of them drop it. If they say "I don't trust people who don't drink" or "You must be no fun" or "But how do you have fun" then that just tells me a lot about them, and I spend less time with them at company social events.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2023 22:37     Subject: PSA in social situations with alcohol...
I don’t really drink either. No big secret reason.

I think you need to find better friends.