Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 10:17     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My niece's BF graduated grad school today. She graduated an year early as he took a gap year. BF's family was very nice but didn't include her in any family pics.

It was odd and rude as they are very committed to each other, rent a condo together, moving to same town for jobs and planning a future together. She clearly felt awkward, BF being a men was clueless.

Obviously people avoid adding anyone to family pics until married but one can always take some extra ones. Its surprisingly how thoughtless people can be and then they question why DIL keeps her distance.






They probably won’t last, while the images will. Prudent on the part of the family.


Pictures are to capture present, not predict future.


This is how I view it.

My then boyfriend is in the family pictures from my brothers wedding. We were living together at the time, spent holidays together… it would have been so strange to exclude him.

We broke up a few years after the wedding (20+ years ago) but he’s still in a framed wedding photo on the wall in my brothers house.

Know who else is in that photo? The bridesmaids my SIL hasn’t spoken to in probably 15 years, because life is like that.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 10:16     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
Anonymous wrote:Family only! She is NoT family


Obviously

Now couldn't they spare a few megabytes of memory for someone their son cares for.
No? Maybe she should rethink being linked with these tacky people.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 10:12     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
To some people, family means family. If they aren't engaged, they aren't family yet. If your niece is troubled by it she needs to talk to the BF, not you, and tell him. If he cares, he'll tell his family to treat her like family.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 10:08     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
Family only! She is NoT family
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 08:52     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
I don't think it's weird they took pictures without you, but I do think it's weird they didn't take ANY with you in them. Unless there was a time limit for pictures and there was only enough for 1 or 2 they should have just taken multiple sets so you were in some and not in others.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 08:38     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
Its a strange and disrespectful way to show people that we don't take your relationship seriously and aren't rooting for your future together.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 08:35     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Family" means different things to different people. My in-laws don't include extras in the family photo until they are married. I spent Christmas with his family while we were engaged - just a few months shy of our wedding - and I'm not in that family photo. I am in the one from the following year. My in-laws are wonderful people, we get along great, they are warm and loving and welcoming. But their tradition is that the "family photo" is ... just family. It's a clear line, nobody has to wonder who "counts" or worry that one kid's SO is being treated differently from another's.

In other words, the photo thing is only a big deal if you are reading more into it than just the photo.

That is beyond bizarre that your ILs didn't allow their son's fiancee in the family photo.
.

My SIL had a broken engagement and the fiancée is in all of the pictures of our kids baptism. It’s kinda weird now cuz he is literally just some random guy in the pics


My family has lots of pictures with my aunt's ex-fiancee and uncle's ex-wife. They were a part of their lives at that time, not some random props.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 08:14     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Family" means different things to different people. My in-laws don't include extras in the family photo until they are married. I spent Christmas with his family while we were engaged - just a few months shy of our wedding - and I'm not in that family photo. I am in the one from the following year. My in-laws are wonderful people, we get along great, they are warm and loving and welcoming. But their tradition is that the "family photo" is ... just family. It's a clear line, nobody has to wonder who "counts" or worry that one kid's SO is being treated differently from another's.

In other words, the photo thing is only a big deal if you are reading more into it than just the photo.

That is beyond bizarre that your ILs didn't allow their son's fiancee in the family photo.
.

My SIL had a broken engagement and the fiancée is in all of the pictures of our kids baptism. It’s kinda weird now cuz he is literally just some random guy in the pics
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 07:36     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
They should have taken some with her, but let’s be realistic that sharing an apartment these days does not imply the same level of commitment it once did. My and DH’s younger sibs have all had multiple cohabiting relationships now. It’s just the norm for younger people now when they’ve been dating a few months and someone’s lease is up.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2023 21:57     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
Get the new Pixel phone with AI photo editor.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2023 20:51     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
If your niece is bothered she can say something. More than pictures meddlesome family members cause issues
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2023 12:57     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ha ha when one of our daughters got married our younger daughter had a serious boyfriend. We took some photos with him and some without him that we joked were for “insurance” and he laughed along. They ended up getting married and we threw out the ones without him.

This is a good strategy. I know just as many couples that later broke up and the ex stands out like a sore thumb in the photos.


If you are only taking one picture, that's a different thing but if you are taking two dozen, do different subsets. In some just birth family and in some with significant others. Heck, I would even include kids friends in some family pics, if they are standing there. Why make anyone an odd man out. I would seriously reconsider joining such insensitive family.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2023 11:13     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
Anonymous wrote:Ha ha when one of our daughters got married our younger daughter had a serious boyfriend. We took some photos with him and some without him that we joked were for “insurance” and he laughed along. They ended up getting married and we threw out the ones without him.

This is a good strategy. I know just as many couples that later broke up and the ex stands out like a sore thumb in the photos.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2023 11:11     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
*including
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2023 11:11     Subject: Grad's GF - Fam Pics
Wether you mean it or not, by not adding a serious significant other of a child or sibling, you are sending a negative message.